New paintings and regular art updates.
My shoulder has decided to play up, I’m in a lot of pain, I’m trying to get a doctors appointment but in the meantime I’ve got a lavender scented wheat bag that you microwave and then put on the affecting ed area. It smells nice but I’m not sure it’s actually helping. Maybe I need embrocation! The worst thing is how tired I feel. That’s why I’ve not been here today….
Dry skin, wrinkles, aging, it is the culminative effect of life. Very few animals and plants can live longer than 100 years. But trees, for instance Yews, can live thousands of years, some spread out and as the centre dies the outer skin continues to grow. In the case of things like jellyfish, some of them can revert back to a younger version of themselves (not sure of the science). Then there are more complex creatures such as Tortoises which can live over 100 years, another aged animal can be Parrots, they can outlive their owners!
Age is catching up with me. My arms and hands continue to wrinkle, I feel like I’m old in some areas of my body, and still have some youth in other parts.
When you live with someone with bad hearing loss, be prepared to repeat yourself. Sometimes endlessly.
He has hearing aids, but he doesn’t always remember to put them in, and even when he does he can’t always hear me. I repeat things, but because he has lost the higher frequency sounds my voice can be too high to hear. We end up in a guessing game. I say a word say ‘splurge’ for instance, and he will say ‘Forge, force?’ I repeat, then ‘sort? Sports?’ repeat again, trying to pitch my voice lower…. ‘splits?’ finally he gets it. The energy it takes to communicate is hard work. Tiring. Irritating. But ultimately we communicate.
My minds a maze
The world’s a haze
Memories topple
Like a worm in an apple.
Lost in a haze
Into distance I gaze
Thoughts that occur
Do not always concur.
Finding a thread
That just ends up dead
Seeing a face
But don’t know it’s place?
Older I get
The more…?
I forget.
Have I matured,
or aged?
Is my skin like parchment,
smooth and soft?
Or crumpled and full
of wrinkles?
Do I need ‘plumping up’
or ironing flat?
My age is my story,
my experience and thoughts.
Worn or rested.
Life takes its toll,
and continues on,
giving and taking.
Life has magic
and cruelty.
Give it chance
to take you
on your own special journey.
The candles blew out OK but then continued to smoulder. So I pinched the wicks between my fingers as I thought it would set off the smoke alarm. Also the cat was making a move to jump down from the cupboard top.
What am I doing, watching TV, eating a small slice of cake and drinking prosecco. We had Thai green curry with seabass for our evening meal. Now my hubby is sitting with a glass of wine in one hand and a bottle of lager in the other!
It’s been a funny day, went to bed late (4.30am) and got up late. I have been posting things about it on the book of face… Isn’t it funny, I would never have considered doing that in the past. What a thing social media is…
Well I might post few other things today…
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Another year towards three score years and ten? I’ve had a quiet day with him today. Is it true men get grumpier with age or is it just the current situation? This is a ‘reading the paper’ face.
How do you keep safe in the world? He does the shopping at the moment as I need to stay in. But we had a trip out today, the pharmacists is not within easy walking distance, so I drove us there. Then a little detour up to the shop on the hill to get supplies and a few beers for a birthday drink. I did that because I knew what I wanted and I’m quick when it comes to shopping. Narrow isles meant some dodging backwards and forwards to leave a healthy gap between customers.
Then back in the car and down the opposite hill to give the car a bit of a run. (It’s been sat for a week and with cold nights I was expecting it to have a flat battery, but it had started first time).
Tonight I went and got us a takeaway Thai meal as a treat. Restaurants are allowed to sell take away food at the moment. (so much for me staying in!)
But that’s why I’ve been quiet today. Quietly celebrating my hubby’s birthday.
My cats play and chase each other every few hours. It starts with the female cat lying down in front of the male cat, he starts to groom her and they start squabbling, she fends him off as he tries to nip her. They then start chasing each other, sneaking up and Pouncing at each other, racing round the room and up the stairs.
Lately it been a game of “I’m the king of the castle, get down you dirty rascal…” a game that children used to play where you would stand on top of a pile of dirt or maybe rocks and your friends would try and push you off and capture the high ground.
I’ve got a pile of clothes and laundry waiting to go upstairs, but the male cat has taken to sleeping on it. His sister objects and jumps up. A few times she has chased him away, only for him to come back and recapture it! I was going to take a photo of him, but he jumped down so I’ve drawn a cat on it. It does remind me of the game we used to play.
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Suddenly, snow is on his head,
frost is in his hair.
Life is here still, strong and steady
but time has sprinkled white, dead hair into the brown.
Salt and pepper, they say.
Distinguished temples silvered by age.
No wish for dyes to cover it,
no need to hide it.
Only a realisation that winter is on its way.
She cries quietly in a corner, there is no violence, no words to cut, no cruelty to endure. But she can see the changes. She can see the hesitation in his words, the slight tremor in his voice. Age is wearing him away more quickly than they had hoped. She was almost a decade younger than him. Would she retire and be able to spend quality time with him, or would it be too late to have a life. One where they could be together like they once were, reading each others thoughts, finishing each others words.
It’s been a few years, but each day he has drifted into his own mind and out of reality. Falling deeper into despair and dragging her down too.
That’s why she cried.
Mallaband-Brown