Tired

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I’ve been to two choir sessions today, both are slighty different groups. So we learn different songs although the warm up is usually the same. I love singing different songs and it lifts me when I am feeling down.

I go to choir because I’ve been going for between 15 and 20 years. It’s my rock I can cling onto in a raging river of life. If I didn’t go I would be seriously lost. It helps my mental health and I believe it’s also good for my physical health but it’s getting harder and harder to keep going. I need to rest between songs and I get tired quicker. Also I have to drive to get to the groups and I have to be careful that I am safe to drive. I can think about all the journeys I used to make but I can no longer do them. That diminished possibility hurts me.

I like it

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How do you feel about cold weather?

I like cold weather as long as I can get warm when I need to. I like cold, clear, frosty days. Days when trees look like white sculptures, where hoar frosts build crystals of ice on leaves and twigs. Where spiders webs festoon hedges.

I don’t like warm wet winters, where you go out and your feet feel wet all  day. Where the rain blows into your coat hood and trickles down your neck. Cats drive past and spray you with water from the gutter.

I don’t like too hot summers. I can’t cool my house down enough. I feel like I’m melting. Cold showers or an electric fan with a bottle of frozen water in front of it (not too close) are methods to keep cool.

Britain can get very cold and very hot but it rarely stays the same every day. Sometimes we have short heatwaves and cold snaps, but the weather has changed over the last few years. Those mild wet winters are confusing the plants and insects. Life is trying to keep up with man made climate change and I don’t think we are doing enough.

Should I keep blogging?

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I wanted to review my blog so I decided to ask what people think?

I used to try and write short stories on here and I also wrote more about art and science. So my question is, is this blog getting boring? I don’t seem to have enough time to blog although I don’t feel like I am doing that much. I just want to know if I should try and change things? What do you think? What would you like to see here?

Broken bones

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Have you ever broken a bone?

Yes, but not saying which ones. It took them a while to heal. All were caused by various types of fall.

Broken bones in young people can cause greenstick fractures, that’s when the bone is broken like a soft twig and can be reset. Simple clean breaks are manipulated back into place then held in place with plaster of paris bandages. Some breaks, like a broken finger can’t be plastered but are just strapped up. Broken ribs cannot be plastered so it’s just painkillers and sometimes strapping? The worst break can be a compound fracture where the bone penetrates the skin. This will require some form of surgery with pins or even plates to hold the bones back in place. Then there are skull fractures that require operations to fix bones back in place. Sometimes pe have plates put in their head if the bone of the skull becomes necrotic. XRays and other types of imaging can be used to locate and realign bony damage.

Where is he?

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One of my cats has gone missing, he’s an older cat with a heart murmur. I keep calling and whistling him but he hasn’t come back since last night.

He’s done it before, about five years ago he disappeared for 10 days. He got out through a window (he used to be an indoor cat). He must have got lost. I think he was shut in a garage or shed while someone was on holiday, it looked like he had tried to dig his way out, his paws and nose were filthy.

Now? It was a warm night, he might have found somewhere cool to sleep. I’m going to have to go round the garden and see if I can find him. I hope he’s OK.

I dont

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How do you balance work and home life?

I’m in semi retirement

I’m too young to get my pension but I’m not working either. My health is not good, and I’m having various tests. So what do I do? I’m trying to keep occupied by doing creative things and trying to get some exercise. It’s weird because I’m not used to being like this, I was always strong physically and mentally but I feel diminished. Time is taking its toll on me.

Sorry, this is too serious, but the prompt is tempting me to reveal more about myself. Lots of things have happened in the last five months that have pulled me in different directions but mainly downward. I try to find a balance between not work and home, but activity and non activity. Sometimes it takes me a couple of days to feel right again. Most of the time I clamp myself tight like a barnacle inside my house, not looking for daylight. It takes me time to pluck up courage to go out. I can think about travelling, but I don’t. I think of all the things that could go wrong.

Luckily I have friends who drag me out. I can go to some places easily, but others? The anxiety is too much for me. Just going outside to pick up the milk off the gate can take me hours to decide to do it. And yet meeting friends lifts me up. My cats help too. What would I do without them.

Well that’s my situation at present….

Bench

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Why are you facing inwards bench?

Can’t you see the beautiful view?

The green and yellow hills

Beyond the fence…

Tiny farmhouses dotted alongside feilds

Sun shining on a golden harvest?

But I look in, said the bench

I see the quarry garden

Dug out of soil and stone

Carved into a bowl

Lined with rhododendrons

Azaleas, beech trees, oaks

Full of colour now, gaudy flowers

A waterfall splashes and ploshes

In the quarry cauldron

Hidden sculptures in maze like paths

Yes beyond the fence is lovely

But the Dorothy Clive garden is special.