New paintings and regular art updates.
An image of a punk woman came up on my Facebook memories today. I decided to draw another, older profile, thinking of the years that have passed since those days. I had done them both in the Artrage app. I then added texture and an overlay in photodirector. I’m trying to imagine it printed on old newspaper. Whatever I do, I have to draw.
Always by my side. Now I’m a widow. What a weird word. My fate was to be left behind. Yours was to leave first.
The cats keep looking for you. The house is quiet. No explosions of humour and excitement. Just full but empty. Echoing with your life. Your things are everywhere. Your books, your clothes, shoes, things. What do I do?
Lots of support, I’m organising and tidying. Getting advice. Looking for help. Trying to stay calm. Alert about my body, my health.
Time will pass, I will seek support, I must try and go on. Enough sadness for a whole lifetime has poured like molten metal into my heart, burning and breaking. But I must go on.
I turned to you to ask you a question. But you were not there. You cannot come back.
You were so knowledgeable, I could mention something and you knew the way my mind was working. You would ask me and be surprised by what I knew. We agreed that I had picked up a lot of knowledge from you. I recognise trains and tractors because of you. I could ask you about chemistry and physics. We would laugh and compete to answer TV quiz questions. Sometimes I would beat you, other times you would beat me. Most often it was a draw.
Thinking of you now I see a hole in the air where you were. A space unfilled by your spirit. You have gone ahead, like going to bed, and I don’t want to follow yet? My bonds are here on earth, close tied to friends and family. Don’t let me loose those bonds yet. I have obligations, how could I let the cats down? My family down. Please look over me and keep me safe in your heart as I hold you in mine.
Thoughts late at night.
Do you have a favorite place you have visited? Where is it?
Dark cliffs that people sometimes dive off, sandy coves and dark rock pools. Big city Plymouth with it’s summery vibe, small shops in narrow streets in historic villages. Long drives overland to get to a beach half a mile away on the coast. There are lots of rivers and streams that need to be negotiated. The North coast and South coast are seperate by rolling green countryside and steep and craggy moorland. I want to go back. The old oak trees and cider are calling!
I’d played with this photo of a sunset and posted it to Facebook three years ago. I think I was mesmerised by the colours. The branches add interesting structure and the chimney and small lights show humans existence in the world. I can’t recall where I took the original photo.
What are your family’s top 3 favorite meals?
We were introduced to more exotic food at quite an early age. My mother and father would take us out for meals to local restaurants. Mostly Chinese, but sometimes Indian eateries. It was there we learnt to use chopsticks. We ate tandoori or baltis. We never really ate anything too hot or spicy though. My favourite Indian meal had orange flavours in it, very mild, a house speciality of a local restaurant.
Then a few years ago I discovered a Japanese Restaurant near us. I had not really understood the difference between Chinese and Japanese food so it was a revelation. I soon got other family and friends to try the cuisine there. We sometimes have birthday meals there. I don’t think I have really explored world foods, but at least we have tried some.
What book are you reading right now?
I’m reading an old Issac Asimov book. The stars like dust. It’s one I had in the 70s and haven’t read it since.
Asimov mainly wrote books about robots and formulated the three laws of robotics. But this book is about galactic intrigue and the attempts of a young man called Biron Farill, who is the main character of the book, to escape the Tyrrani who rule the Galaxy and are trying to assassinate him.
I have completely forgotten the story, it feels old fashioned but has intrigue. I can imagine watching an old film, some of the settings, seem clunky. But it’s worth reading, and I’m enjoying it.
What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever found (and kept)?
We were cycling home on our tandem one summer evening, when suddenly we turned round in the road. I had no idea what was going on, it was a narrow country road and it surprised me.
We pulled up and my hubby started looking on the grass verge. There was a camera just lying there! We didn’t know what to do, so we took it home (we were in the middle of the countryside), with the idea of seeing if there was a film inside and getting it developed if there was. We would try and get it back to its owners somehow? This was about 30 or so years ago before we had the Internet, so there wasn’t much hope of finding its owners.
We sent the film off, but it came back blank, it must have been lost when someone put a new film in, maybe put it on top of a car and forgot to move it when they drove off.
I have to say I had forgotten all about it until I saw this prompt, and now I feel guilty for not reuniting it with it’s owners.
It’s coming up for Christmas and once again the Clay Chorus choir has transmogrified into the Mystery Singers.
We met last night for our second rehearsal and it was straight into various carols and wassails that we perform in a trip round Penkhulls’ pubs in a few weeks time.
We sang ‘while shepherd’s watched their flocks by night’ Cranbrook arrangement, ‘Good king Wenceslas’, ‘Sweet Chiming Bells’, and several other favourites.
Old friends come and add to the choir numbers. We sounded good last night. I hope we learn some new songs too x
Who is the most famous or infamous person you have ever met?
I met the lovely Dawn French once, for about five seconds, she was giving out chocolate coins with her face embellished on them to graduates at the University she is the Chancellor of, and I was one of the hundreds of students that met her that day.
She is a comedian, actor, writer, appears on TV as a the Vicar of Dibley and is one half of French and Saunders the comedy double act.
My fleeting meeting was just a smile and a handshake and me trying to say thank you very much and I love you without garbling it up too much.
I’d travelled a few hundred miles to be at the graduation ceremony, but after being given a very hot nylon gown and mortar board to wear on a blistering hot summers day it was all I could do to stay upright. I’d got family and friends with me in the audience, and it was a very proud moment, but my main thought as I got off the stage was “ice-cream” or “cold drink”!
Mallaband-Brown