Shoes

Summers over and my sandals must be put away for another year. I will have to get my flat heels out again. I don’t bother to buy pairs of shoes. I bought three sorts of the same type in different colours, and never wore them! It’s strange, some women have tens or hundreds of pairs, and different ones for different occasions, I never got into that. I think it’s because I’ve never had much money. When we had a death in our family when I was a teenager, my mother gave us money to buy a dress and cardigan and shoes to wear to the funeral. I think that’s why I don’t get excited buying clothes or shoes. As long as they aren’t falling apart I keep wearing them….

My muddled brain

Flashing like a beacon, connected in all different directions, emotions bursting out into the world. Thoughts spiralling. Pain, anxiety, calm, hope, dreams, fear, sadness all mingles. If I can find a thread to pull me through all of the entangled ideas. The tears keep falling.

Today I reached out and so many people reached back to me. I feel overwhelmed with their support. I need to hope things will improve. I think the friends I have made that hope more real.

Stewed pears and custard

We are still picking pears from the tree and a quick meal is to chop then up into pieces and stew them up in a bit of water and sweetner. Then I make up some custard to pour over the stewed pears. Its warm and sweet for a cold day. It saves the pears from rotting as if you leave them they can get over ripe and go mushy and brown. It’s not bad for an old crooked pear tree that almost blew over one year!

Gratitudes

It’s been hard to think of things to be grateful about over the last few days. I’m trying to record three things a day to try and have a positive effect on my brain. I guess it has helped a bit, but I’m looking for the tiniest bit of positivity at the moment. One thing I look for is hearts. It could be a bit of my random drawing looks like a heart, or a cloud shaped like one. Maybe even a petal or leaf on the ground. Small things…..

Fireflies

Imagine a glass box of fireflies all flying around. Cold light from their abdomens? Could you use it as a torch, or would they all settle down in a corner and go to sleep? I wouldn’t want to catch them and trap them so I will use LED lights instead.

We have choices, we don’t have to trap or kill anything, we don’t have to be cruel. We can try and do better than we do. Realise people are not perfect. Learn to forgive if we can. Let the fireflies fly free.