New paintings and regular art updates.
Our back yard is blooming despite my hubby putting icecubes in the hanging baskets! Now I need help cutting back the main garden, I need help. We are not fit enough to do it anymore and what we’re shrubs have turned into trees and huge bushes. I know the neighbours are not pleased but we don’t have the serious finances to tackle it plus we want it to remain a wildlife haven. Goodness knows what we can do about it. Maybe get on one of these TV rescue programmes!
What the heck is happening. Facebook keeps changing without any explanation or reasoning. Like the road you are driving on being moved to a different destination underneath you, and with no road signs to explain where you are going or why!
For instance, the menu at the top of the page has changed. The icon for groups has gone and instead there is marketplace. I have never and will never buy anything through that. However I am in lots of groups. I want to see the cloud appreciation society Facebook page or art groups I’m in… I’m having a moan here because I can’t actually see where to complain on my Facebook page!
I want to know what is happening with my brain and nerves. I am still struggling with a shaking left arm and hand, and cramps in my left leg and foot. I think it’s a trapped nerve, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I’m hoping when I finally get to see a doctor I will get a good result and hopefully it can be fixed. Meanwhile I’m thankful it’s on my left side as I’m right handed. It makes some things more difficult and it’s tiring and frustrating. I know I’ve moaned about this before, but it’s getting to me. I wrote this yesterday but then forgot to publish it. And I’m getting forgetful with some words, but I’m hoping thats just stress! I went for an eye appointment set for the 29th, except it’s in June, not May! No wonder they were not open….Help
Sleep, a wonderful thing. Dreaming of creatures, as long as they aren’t monsters. And if they are monsters then as long as they are friendly ones? My monster is insomnia, when the dreams WON’T come. When the dreams that do appear flit past my eyes for a second and are then gone. Like a butterfly snatched by a cat, or a dragonfly grabbed by a pike. Then awake again I have to watch the seconds click by. Close my eyes and the world swirls sideways. I need rest!
What have I done today? After getting my results I decided to have a go at the new scientist crossword. Er… Help…. I got quite a lot but what is a US term for a bulrush or reed ace (7)? Or slow motion of earth down a slope (4,5)? I think it’s interesting that a ‘quick’ crossword for scientists is a slow one for me!
My head hurts. I sometimes sneak a look at a crossword clue answers page, but I try not to. Wow, the excitement!
Screaming for help from hubby this morning. I was just cleaning my glasses but with my shaking arm I wobbled and dropped them onto the kitchen floor. I picked them up, but a lens had come out. I tried to find it but having one focused and one unfocused eye didn’t help. Started shouting, but hubby was upstairs and is deaf. I looked all around, the eye with the missing lens closed so I was just looking out of the lens still in my glasses. I moved the fridge back a couple of inches very gingerly and moved the bin, no sign. I shouted some more and went upstairs and woke my hubby. Help! Please help! He came down and straight away found it! Half way down the kitchen under the overhanging base of the sink (how did it get there? Must have skittered across the floor). The lens wouldn’t fit in very well. So.. Tape? I found masking tape, and parcel tape, then a very broad roll of sellotape. I managed to cut a thin strip. The lens is just about in place. I’m going to get the opticians to fix it later…. So of course I decided to illustrate the glasses!
Abstract digital finger painting I have called ‘pulled’…
Tension twangs
Pulls me three ways
How can I help?
Who needs me more
Stress hold my hands
Pulls my heart out!
How to split
Yourself between
Three different problems
Three people stuck?
If I’m pulled one way
I’m lulled into
Security,
But then it comes again
Another pang of guilt.
So show me a way to help
Them..
But me too!
I just looked down because I saw something from the corner of my eye… A huge house spider was boldly walking out from under my armchair! I don’t mind spiders normally, but I jumped! My hubby gently picked up the spider… And put it on the other side of the room! They are good for catching insects. I think it had come out to look for food. It had better watch out though. I’m afraid out cats patrol for them and sometimes catch them.
Yes, its almost 3.30am. No I can’t sleep. Yes, the neighbours security light keeps flashing on and off….flash.. flash…No, I can’t calm my thoughts, yes, I tried counting sheep. Yes, I just had a warm drink (decaff coffee). Yes, I am tired. No, I do’t know if I should be sticking commas after Yes, and No,. Yes, I WANT to sleep. Yes, his snoring doesnt help! No I can’t count sheep, they get blurry and disappear. No, it doesn’t help having to wear a mask for sleep aponea at night. Yes, I am too hot, but the house is too cold when I get out of bed. Yes I AM looking at a screen, which I know is bad for sleeping! Yes, aches and pains are NOT helping.
Yes, I try relaxation, sometimes it works, not tonight. Whats bugging me? I need to try and sort a friends problems out. No, I can’t tell her I don’t think I can help- I’m her friend. Yes, Covid is worrying me a lot. Yes, I’m very hot and bothered…. No- THIS IS NOT Helping! Oh well, better go back and TRY and SLEEP…
Hello Insomnia, my old friend, you’re keeping me awake again… its 3.40am- again.
My mind is a bit muddled at the moment. I am dealing with lots of ‘stuff’ and I feel overwhelming worry that I won’t get back on track. My life physically has been bothering me and I’m waiting for an appointment to try and find answers. I’m dealing with things for myself, my family and friends, and because I can put a good case for things I don’t mind helping. But when you persue various options and each one closes down it gets more and more frustrating. I wish I could herd cats, work out the best thing for us. I had to ask for help recently, and that was difficult. I’m a proud person and I don’t like to think I can’t cope. But you know those straws that broke the camels back? I think they are building up. Maybe I need to hibernate and look after myself, but turning away from others is not in my nature.
Mallaband-Brown