Stuck

Posted on June 26, 2024 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged belongings, Healing, holding on, Life, Memory, organised, Six months, Stuck, Stuff, TimeLeave a comment

Six months after he died and I’m still stuck. It’s hard to move things, clear them away. I feel like I’m walking through treacle. I’ve got too much stuff, mine and his. I’m still holding tight to things.

Can I donate to charity? Or sell things? Or bin things? But I’m still attached. I can’t do anything but look at things, I rarely move any of it. My mind is fused into a lump of static thoughts, unable to move on.

Maybe I’m overdramaticising the situation? I don’t know, but I think it might take years to get sorted out. I’ve done a lot of the legal stuff and paperwork, but forty years of belongings, especially when you have been with someone for so long, are hard to organise.

Slowly healing

Posted on December 22, 2023 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged Caring, Healing, Life, Memories, Poem, Poetry, Recovery, Sadness, Thinking, Weather1 Comment

Low mood

Slowly rising

Clouds lifting

Wind dropping

Rain abates

Gales blow out

Stopping

Leaves fallen

Cannot be replaced

But buds grow

Time moves

Green shoots

Spring forth.

Grateful

Thankful

Healing…

Mend him

Posted on November 25, 2023November 25, 2023 Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged Cracked, gluing, Gold, Healing, Illness, Japanese, Life, Love, Poem, Poetry, Pottery, split6 Comments

I’m painting a broken man,

The cracks run through him

Shards of bone and flesh

Split and shattered.

Gluing him together

Bit by bit… With Gold

Like Japanese pottery

Once broken

Now finally held

With love.

Poor cat

Posted on November 17, 2023 Posted in Cat, UncategorizedTagged abscess, Black and white, burst, Cat, cat fight?, Eye, Healing, Ill, Tired, Tuxedo cat, vets6 Comments

He’s on the stairs, sleeping. He’s just home from the vets. He’s got an abscess below his eye and it burst while he was at the vets. I’ve got antibiotics to give him for the next few days. It will be difficult because he doesn’t like having big tablets, he doesn’t like them crushed in food, so we will try with a syringe and a little bit of water again. He hates having his eye wiped, I want to get in there and bathe it but he struggles and fights back, poor cat.

Washed up!

Posted on August 10, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged crutches, Healing, Health, Life, Recovery, slippers, slippy, standing, Washing up2 Comments

I’m actually happy that I managed to wash up this afternoon. Standing and supporting my own weight for a few minutes without crutches. I feel like I might actually be healing. I had to have some new slippers because the old ones has gone to thin in the soles and we’re slipping on the kitchen floor. The new ones are a bit tight so I’ve used scissors to cut down the heels and give me a bit more space as my fert are swollen. Fingers and toes crossed for a full recovery.

Medicinal garden

Posted on August 1, 2023August 1, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Food, Ford Green Hall, Gardening, Green, Healing, Health, Life, medicines, Plants, remedies, TimeLeave a comment

At Ford Green Hall there is a small medicinal garden, various herbs are grown there including oriental poppies, marjoram, lavender, mint, teasle and other plants including apples and wild flowers.

I wish I could get some things to knit and heal my foot and ankle. Maybe I should have collected some seeds while I was there. The wet weather has made cottage garden plants really big and blousy. Life is interesting how medicinal plants like feverfew and valerian can help with illness. Not everything is safe to take, but it’s good that medicines have plants as a basis for remedies and cures.

It’s a ligament

Posted on August 1, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Foot, Healing, Health, Life, ligaments, Medicine, not broken, Pain, snapped, Struggle5 Comments

I have pulled a ligament in my foot. I had the ambulance service out. The paramedics were lovely, but they could not take me into A&E. I’ve pulled a ligament so I they won’t xray me or put a plaster cast on. I’ve just got to bear weight on my foot and leg. I’m hobbling around. I’ve got a chair half way to the bathroom to give me a rest. Trouble is I’m drinking plenty of fluids! On painkillers. 😭

Meditation

Posted on January 26, 2023January 28, 2023 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Aches, Art, golden, Healing, Help, Light, Meditation, pains, Relaxation, Sketching, Thinking, Vision, YogaLeave a comment

At my old yoga class from twenty years ago, we used to meditate about a golden healing light that you could conjour up to relax and help heal aches and pains. Recently I remembered this, so when I am trying to sleep and struggling to stop circular and intrusive thoughts, I close my eyes and try and notice the flow of blood in the back of my eye. Sometimes I catch sight of a sparkly gold light flowing in waves across my vision. I don’t exactly know what it is, I think it’s linked to my pulse, but it’s definitely a visual thing, not imagined. I then think the words ‘golden healing light’ over and over as I watch the waves of light wafting across my vision. I don’t know if this would be of any help to anyone, but it’s an interesting phenomenon.

Felt OK

Posted on November 16, 2022November 16, 2022 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Choir, felt better, Friends, gratitude, Healing, Life, Music, OK, Sad, Singing, Time2 Comments

Last night I went out to choir practice for the first time in several weeks. I wrote this gratitude about it when I got home. When I got there I couldn’t help crying, but a friend came over and calmed me down. We are now the mystery singers for the Christmas season so we were singing songs like Gaudete and Sweet Chiming Bells. Finally we sang While Shepherds watched their flocks by night to the tune of on Ilkley Moor Bah’tat, (although the Carol song might have come first?). By the end of the night I felt OK. So I am very glad I went.

Purple for healing

Posted on September 24, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged breaking heart, Flower, Healing, Heart, Purple, purple poppy, red poppy, Remembrance, SadnessLeave a comment

I went to the opening of Arts and Minds which is a gallery and support space for veterans today. It is at Middleport in stoke-on-trent. They were selling crocheted poppies for remembrance day, but they also had a few purple poppies for healing. I bought one and am wearing it on my jumper near my heart. It’s symbolic of how I feel. My heart is breaking and needs to heal. I’ve tried to Kee busy today, but somehow feel sadder.

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Healing