Where’s he gone? I’ve whistled and shouted him. He was around this morning. He’s probably asleep somewhere. I’ll have to put some food out for him and the other two… Or get some catnip out to attract him. I’m getting worried but I think it’ll be OK. It’s just that feeling of missing something, a silence when you expect noise. I don’t want to lose anything else at the moment. I haven’t heard from a friend recently and I get the same feeling. I’m over thinking probably. Easy to let things get to me. But I don’t want a prodigal cat. X
Today is a hiding day. Lots of thoughts and fears roaming around the inside of my head. I need to get things done but I don’t feel like doing them. I’m going to give myself some slack, just a few hours to feel safe.
Yesterday I was more optimistic, I got some things done I’d been putting off. I’ve even started my gratitude book again. And later I will go out as the cats won’t have anything to eat if I don’t. But yesterday afternoon something happened that put everything into another perspective. And I just froze. I’m only hinting, I’m not going to say, and I think I will be OK, it was something mental not physical. I’m OK. I will be OK.
Back in the eighties hubby brought a whole load of cadmium colours back from the company where he was doing chemical analysis. I had about eight coffee jars full of cadmium ranging from pale yellow to red to deep maroon. But I didn’t know how to mix them, it was before Google and I had them on a shelf for a year. I also knew Cadmium is a heavy metal although these colours were pigments so hopefully they were safe.
Then a fellow art student asked about them. I agreed to give them to her. I know she used them in many paintings! I often wonder if she used them all, I haven’t seen her for forty years.
So many things have gone wrong lately. I lost a letter from the government and didn’t know what to do. It had warned me I might get fined if I didn’t fill in a form.
First I rang the local council, they gave me a phone number. Yesterday I rang it but due to technical problems they were not accepting calls.
So today I rang back. I spoke to a lovely and helpful man called Keith. He said he could help find the letter and what form I needed to fill in but the system was down so he would ring me back…
A few minutes later he called back. He had found my account and could complete the form with me over the phone but I would have to submit it myself so he would save it for me.
I’m so glad he helped, the 20 questions were complex and vague at the same time. I tried my best to answer accurately. I think I did OK. Once we were finished he gave me a long reference number and explained what I needed to do to submit the form. I explained that I sometimes shake I can hit the wrong keys. I asked what to do if I went wrong. He said just ring the department back with the reference number.
Then he said he could stay on the line and talk me through it! He did so and the form was submitted successfully! Thank you Keith!
When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Not when I was five!
Give me crayons, give me colouring books. Books with paper covered in dots that you wet with a paintbrush and colours emerge.. Dot to dot books, pages with squares on that I could turn into patterns. I might have been a bit older than five for some of these, but I always wanted art things for my birthday or Christmas. I must have heard of artists because I always wanted to be one. I got an etch-a-sketch machine to draw with, I loved that.
My sister wanted to be a musician, she eventually borrowed a violin from school. I got jealous because my parents said I was doing art and they couldn’t let me have a musical instrument, so I overtightened the strings on the violin and they snapped ( bad/very guilty memory!)…
Now? I’ve been an artist all my life. I started drawing when I was a child such as historical people in tudor dress, Asterix the Gaul, horses, clouds, all sorts of things. I still do that, anything is interesting to me.
Science is hard, it is very difficult to understand or often to explain. I think the world is split into people who get science and those that do not.
I don’t know if you have to have a particular brain? I found science hard, and being a girl didn’t push myself forward in classes. The boys always had their hands up shouting me sir, me! Answering the teachers questions.
And yet I eventually found I loved science. I used to watch a BBC programme called Horizon which had a great many subjects from Chemistry to Astrobiology, to the Big Bang as subjects of hourly shows. Suddenly my interest was piqued. I started to understand things and got more aware of science and it’s ramifications.
I also loved the Sky at Night, a monthly astronomy programme, it’s only short, 20 minutes, but really interesting. And then children’s programmes used to be informative, including the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures. I remember seeing one about magnetic levitation of trains, it was a lecture by Professor Eric Laithwaite. Wonderful.
So my take from this is that you might not like science, but give it a chance, it helps you understand the world..
Wow, it’s just rained heavily. A real squall with gusting winds. The gutters were overwhelmed and water poured down the window. Now the sun’s back out and the dark grey clouds have blown away. I love the sound of raindrops clattering against the glass and the gusts of wind whistling through the gaps in the window frame. It’s never been properly airtight, but I don’t mind and in the dawn light I can hear the blackbird singing on the top of next doors chimney. Music of nature playing around my garden.
It reminds me of the myth or saying about the month of March and March winds… If it is a gentle start to the month it comes in like a lamb and out like a lion, while if it’s windy at the start of the month the opposite, in like a lion out like a lamb tends to be the case.
My ‘job’ isn’t really one, I don’t make sufficient money to make it worthwhile so I guess it’s more like a hobby. But as digital technology has improved I have been able to include it more into my art and mark making.
This image started as a digital drawing in Artrage. I then ran it through filters on the photodirector app several times which came up with this image of a tree. I like being free to experiment with art and seeing what results.
How do I send a canvas in the post? I have wrapped it in bubble wrap but when I got to the post office they didn’t have any boxes big enough. They suggested I put it in a bin liner and tape it well but I didn’t think that would be secure enough. I asked them if they had any old cardboard boxes and they gave me two small boxes with low sides. I will try and unfold them and use them to strengthen the front and back. I was then going to use a black bin bag, but I went in the petrol station to fill up. They were chucking out a large cardboard box so I asked for it. I will use that as outer packaging with lots of tape. I’m glad I called in. Wish me luck, and the canvas a safe journey X.
Mallaband-Brown 