Today I felt like I climbed a mountain…. I was rehearsing with the choir that is putting on a Christmas show tomorrow in the church. For weeks we have sung in the choir stalls near the altar, which was easy enough to move around. But last night they bought in a stage made of a metal framework and a flat top. It had a step up to it. That’s great but I struggled to climb up onto it. My Parkinsons makes me feel like I’m teetering forward and over balancing, which, added to vertigo, made me feel very unsafe.

The compromise was to sit or stand at the side of the stage, then walk up and round some steps behind the choir stalls to come out by the altar. Three steps, not as steep, but in almost complete darkness, which bought out my anxiety again. I hauled myself up the steps and dropped down them on the way back, making my knees hurt.

After eight or ten of these trips I was shattered. The show is the cast singing big songs interspersed with individual solos. It was very tiring. I felt like I’d climbed a mountain. So as a compromise during the performance I will mostly be sitting in the main church, just moving to the side of the stage for the ensemble songs… As I say I’m shattered!