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Reflected, I imagine myself.
Caught between then and now,
near and far.
Lost, not found.
Dimension four,
Time to turn round,
clear my mind,
start again.
Decide to be.
Free.
Everyday
Is the same as yesterday,
Is the same as tomorrow.
Everyday
The birds sing,
The leaves grow,
The plants get taller,
Everyday
Life continues,
The world turns,
The news is grim.
Everyday
I think it’s going to be better,
But it stays weird.
Everyday.
Is the same.
Insane.
Lying comfortably in the crook of his arm,
the tom cat lies sleeping,
cuddled up against his human dad.
Gently purring,
curled up and cute,
he is relaxed and happy.
Black and white fur,
white whiskers.
Just a twitch of his ears,
now and then.
Jarring and jazzing,
my eyes ache and spark,
my neck aches and creaks.
Sore eyes,
tight band round my head,
travelling down to my shoulders.
Sleep won’t come easy,
the stress holds me tight,
I need to rest, I need sleep.
Early to bed, early to rise,
in the middle of the night,
then unable to rest,
Headache.
The weight of the world,
making me creak,
making me break,
making me crumble and quake.
Pushing me down,
pushing me under,
finding a crack,
break me asunder.
Restricted and tight,
no room for movement,
shoulders so stiff,
I want to surrender.
Sleep is my safety,
sleep is my friend,
but like a lost child,
I cannot find peace.
Dreams do not come,
only a blackness,
to tired to think,
curled on my mattress.
One day I’ll wake,
free from this tension,
or I’ll be gone,
broken,
departed.
This was the cloud
that rattled the windows,
drowned out birdsong
made my hubby swear in surprise.
This is the cloud
I tried to film
Flashes and rumbles
Forked lightening
Heavy rain it brings.
This was the cloud
That the blackbird sang to,
dueting the flashes
overwhelmed by thunder
liquid notes flying up to heaven,
rain falling in response.
It will be Autumn again.
The leaves will be turning.
The world will have changed.
Life may resume.
We will find out,
if the tragedy is over,
or only just begun?
Flowers will be dead and gone,
Fruit will be picked.
Cats will be snoozing.
Lives will be missed.
Everyone who stayed alive
Will thank their lucky stars.
Realise they have survived.
Through the virus wars.
I wake on a cliff edge.
Teetering, tottering..
Tension racks my shoulders
Stiff, creaking joints.
Sleep does not touch the tightness.
I feel like bones will break.
Mentally I’m OK,
Physically I’m OK
But my mind is tying my body in knots.
Spine fused with tension.
Like a gathering storm.
Waves waiting to break,
Teeth ground to sand.
Life fights.
Thunder clashes overhead.
Will I fall?
Will I stand.
Still.
Bovisand Bay, painted from life several years ago. Acrylic on canvas. This is what I remember…
The beach at Bovisand.
Warm sand beneath my feet.
Gritty rock, specks sparkle in the sun.
Water laps my feet.
Feet sink into soft sand…
Cove enclosed by cliffs.
Blue sky and tiny clouds.
Close growing plants are sheltered.
Back of the bay, a valley nestles in the hills.
A golden grass snake basks in the heat.
I remember.
I remember the thunder storm.
Lightening strikes in dark night.
Watching flashes over the sea.
Awesome beauty.
Remembered.
What did I hear?
What did you say?
So many rumours fly this way..
What someone thought
What myth revealed?
What does this days news report ?
Breaking stories,
The fakes are out
Telling us all in loud shout.
The world is ending
Or soon will fall,
Is there nothing
To do at all?
Step back,
Breathe deeply
Take a break,
Switch off your phone,
Some news IS fake.
Instead you should
Go rest and sleep.
Maybe tomorrow
Sense will seep
Into your mind
Into your dreams
“Hope springs eternal”
It now seems.
X
Mallaband-Brown