Fork in hand, pulling up weeds, tweed overcoat on, wearing a deerstalker hat, and enjoying a showery morning at Shelton allotments. No sketching challenge today, but we later met with some friends at a social distance so I got my sketch pad out again while enjoying a pleasant coffee in a Portuguese cafe. My nerves were a bit jangly after two seperate meetings with people so I wore a mask on both occasions and gloves when I was weeding. It’s hard to think the world might be going back to normal even though covid 19 is still here.
I’m tense all the time. My hubby went out walking today with some friends and I stayed in ostensibly to get some college work done but really I want to keep away from possible infection. I don’t like it though. I’m constantly tense. I get pains in my shoulders from holding them tight all the time. I’ve tried to book some physio because I’m getting pain from a pinched nerve in my arm and shoulder… But there are no free appointments. Hubby says he will pay, but I’d rather trust the NHS than go private?
So the tension continues. I’ve even found myself rocking backwards and forwards to comfort myself. I don’t think I’m depressed just physically reacting to the pandemic. Stay safe everyone.
Waiting for the phone to ring,
Waiting for the vet to call.
What will be the scan result?
Will he be on medication?
Worried, waiting, hoping, aching.
Shall I ring, or shall I wait?
Will the treatment be too late?
Nervous, thinking, imagined perils.
Cat must be OK, I prey.
22.4.20, about a month into lockdown. I wonder what was going through my mind? I don’t think I was as nervous then as I am now. I was thinking about food. Now I’m thinking about not going out, despite the pubs opening up carefully and hairdressers and other non essential shops. Do I feel like going out? No, I think this is too early. Especially where alcohol is involved. I’ve seen groups of four or five men walking past the house, looking like they are off for a ‘good night out’.
What can I say. I understand people need to escape. I feel so tense I’m shaking. How do refugees and people in war torn areas survive? We are lucky. The problem might cause massive problems with wealth but I want people to be safe and survive this. Ah well, maybe I will do another drawing x.
Two years ago this is what I wrote on Facebook :
“Missing two black and white cats, in our house, somewhere under or behind the furniture….hopefully they will emerge when they get hungry. Hubby has been looking for them half the night. I keep telling him that will just scare them more…. I don’t know whether to get one of those plug in things that gives off a calming scent for cats?”
The photo is of the female who I hadn’t got to know as they had only been here for two days. At the time I didn’t know she was pregnant with four kittens (who we successfully rehomed). She is now very happy living here with her brother. They don’t hide, they like us now. I did get some of that stuff that calms cats down and it worked.
It’s getting dark again, and all around the house figures are appearing from the trees. Looking in through the windows, clamouring to enter.
Semi transparent, glimmering in the setting sunlight. They have been there since winter began. I think they are spirits. They hold me in. I’m trapped at night until the sun rises again. Fifteen hours, unless the day is overcast and then they arrive earlier and leave later.
If I run out of milk I drink water, if I run out of fresh food I have saved rice and beans. I will not risk going out. The car is parked far away and I’m too nervous to run to it.
Lately as the dark has deepened the creatures have been more determined. I’m hoping as the sun comes back, as it sets later and rises earlier, I will be freed. But now, drat it, the change creeps across the sky. The creatures must know it. Only seconds difference.
Last night they rattled the back door. This morning I found the cat flap open and the key on the floor. It was too far away to be reached where it had fallen. Today I’m hiding the key and putting things behind the door to reinforce it. But that means walking through the kitchen, and sometimes, sometimes, I see them watching me.
My heart is thudding in my chest. I just heard something outside and now I don’t want to go to bed!
I put our empty milk bottles outside near the bins. They in turn are pushed up near the gate at the side of our house. The bottles are glass and they are out of the way so you can’t see them at night. About 10 minutes ago I heard one get knocked over. Then the shadow of a figure walked past the glass in the front door. I’d got the living room light switched off as I was preparing to go to bed.
We had my husbands motorbike taken a year ago although we got it back. We also had a bicycle stolen a couple of months ago. This has bought all those memories flooding back.
After a couple of minutes I turned on the living room light and looked out the door up the hill. I saw the figure of someone in a white hoody wandering slowly up the hill. What bothered me was he turned round and looked back. He was too far away to see features – about 100 yards so I doubt he could see much of me. But I’m in a dilemma. I’m tired out because I’m ill. On the other hand I want to stay awake a while longer in case he comes back. Logic tells me this is unlikely because he knocked over the bottle and secondly because I now have the light on and I looked out at him…. .
I hope he feels as spooked as I do! I have turned the radio off so I can hear any other sounds. We are having a ground anchor fitted for the motorbike and getting a heavy duty shed to store the bikes so hopefully that will deter people in future. A lot of these things are not planned but are done by opportunists . But I’m not going to bed yet!
Update: decided to ring the police. They will get someone to keep an eye out for him if they are in the area.