Can’t sleep again….

No I’m not waiting for Santa, that’s tomorrow night. I’m just tired out, too tired to sleep, the bedding on my bed is too heavy and presses on my feet. These old legs ache at the knees, so when I turn over they hurt. My hips are starting to hurt too. If I had the money I might treat myself to a reclining chair? But then I worry the cats would get in the mechanism. Oh dear, possibly squashed kitty! I struggle to get up   from the bed, I think my arms are not as strong and it pulls on my back as I try to fling my legs out to combat my upper body weight. I’m currently exposing myself to decaffeinated coffee to restore my fluid levels but attempting not to take a stimulant (but as you can see from my writing I’m fully awake). Why do brains do this (keep you awake with plans, worries, anxieties, also hearing my heartbeat and the traffic noise outside, even the cats snore!).

Tonight will soon be this morning, 7am, maybe I should tire myself out with a bit of housework? My coffee is getting cold. Good morning.

Again

Comes to something when you are so tired after “another sleepless night”, that you end up doodling about it. At almost 6am.

I used my Artrage app to do it and the various brushes to get different looks. I didn’t blur anything together so it looks quite graphic/illustrative. I’m please the blue stands out against the flood filled black.

Why  am I awake? Aches, tremors, too hot or cold, also hungry as I missed a few meals with a stomach bug. Urgh.

Headache

My heads been aching all day….

I don’t normally get headaches. I have a pain behind my eyes, a thudding. I hope it goes soon. I think its caused by tension. I also ache, I hope it’s not some sort of bug. I’ve had a buzzing in my ears for a few days, maybe I need my ears syringing?

I’ve had some tablets, I hope they kick in soon. It feels scary. But it will pass. I’ll see how I feel in a bit x

It depends

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

I’m not sure when I’m going to bed if I’ll be able to sleep. So therefore I don’t know what time I will wake up! I’ll try and get to bed at the same time each night but then anxiety or pain or other health issues can keep me awake.

Basically I try and sleep on my sides or back, but then find I need to turn over, before having to move again. Never really getting comfortable. I also generally wake up once or twice during the night, which means that I often don’t get back to sleep again.

After a restless night I may sometimes stay asleep till lunchtime. It’s a good thing that I’m not working in a nine to five job!

Movement

I’ve found through a bit of research that it’s important to keep moving if you have Parkinsons disease. So I wobble and shake my way along to the shops or to the pharmacy and back. Trying to get my slow steps in. I have looked at my movement counter but although I’m almost always getting a couple of thousand of steps in every day my heart rate barely registers!

What to do? Then someone from my surgery suggested a Parkinsons group that does table tennis (ping pong). I’d played this on the dining table at home as a young teenager and thought I’d have a go. My worker from the surgery came down to introduce me to the group a week ago. I needed that support because I find it hard to integrate with new people because of anxiety.

So..  I went, and found that I can hit a ping pong ball across a net! I was getting my feet tangled a bit and sort of felt rather static. But I could do it. I went back this week and I’m happy I can progress. I’m going to keep going. It’s only a fortnightly thing, but I hope it will be good for me. I ache in places I didn’t know I have though!

Pain

Pain attacks from different directions

Trundles like an army on alternative fronts

I need to relax

Let my body un-tense

Then the pain flows away

Fear and stress exacerbate

Anxiety cramps me up

But starting to understand

I can calm my impulses

Like a frozen bag of peas

Soothes the army of pain

Descalating aches

Deflating anguish.

Posting at 4am

🕓

And….. The insomnia has kicked in again! Achey arm, scringing toes, too warm, aching back. Thoughts whirl and I can’t rest. Thought of putting the radio on for quiet or white noise, but I can never retune the thing and if I have it on low my instinct is to struggle to hear the news. Plus my sleep aponea mask sometimes hisses in my face. I’ve had a new mask but the hose connecting it to the machine is the wrong size and sometimes disconnects if I turn over in bed. Sorry to moan…

Golfers elbow, too much phone use?

I was recently diagnosed with golfers elbow, and should be resting my arm, but I think it’s partly being cause because of my shaking arm. I’m trying to hold it still but I think that’s causing the muscles on the inside of my elbow to tighten and clench. That being said it hurts when I hold my phone in my left hand, but I would have thought my right arm would be involved too? Anyway I think I will blog more on my pc and rest my arm. Isn’t life wonderful?!