Many things

What have you been putting off doing? Why?

When you go through bad times anxiety and nerves can hold you back. These emotions can make you hold your tongue, stop you going out, make you forget to write to, or email, or phone people. You put off till tomorrow and forget to do today… Eventually everything piles up and you don’t do anything, or just the bare minimum.

But I’m learning through counselling to do easy tasks first, then as they get easier and less onerous you can move on to medium difficulty tasks, and finally difficult ones. But if you have a set back, don’t give up. Start again with things you can cope with and gradually move on. Self repair, self acceptance. Be kind to yourself.

Last week I found myself laughing, I hope I can start doing more of the things I have been putting off. Hopefully…. Unless I get too stressed.

Eighteen

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Yes, actually 18. I left school and I was in the real world. I had to leave my old life behind. It was a shock. I felt like I was falling off a cliff.

It’s a long time ago, but I remember fighting to get into college. I had to choose between that and staying in the job I had. It was the biggest decision of my life and I’m glad I made it!

When I was older I thought about life and that your feelings and world suddenly changes. You have rights and responsibilities. You still have support but it’s up to you to follow your own path (if you are allowed to). I realise that I am lucky as a woman to have rights a lot of other people in different cultures don’t have, and seeing the way governments can change, or bring in restrictions, I don’t always feel those rights will be maintained.

I was lucky to grow up and become an adult during feminist times. I hope those becoming adult now continue to have those rights.

The right size box?

What is a cat in a box?

Cat in a box, I think they are like an upside down tortoise or turtle? Or maybe a hermit crab? Inhabiting just the right sized box…. Finding a box the right size they can pour themselves into. We have a small medium and large cat and each have tried this box. The big cat has to stick his head over the edge, the small one could fit in twice. The middle one is like Goldilocks, it’s just the right size for the box. Wiggle room to twist over for a belly rub. I sometimes tip a bit of catnip in…. Which is most appreciated…. OK… Life is good for our cats….

River River where do you flow….?

Words and music by John Warner.

One of the loveliest and unusual songs we sing at choir practice is River River.

These are words from memory but I think they are pretty accurate. I had to look up the writers name as we didn’t have it. I hope I’m not breaching copyright by writing out the lyrics? I will delete ths post if here is a problem?

River River where do you flow
With your water the colour of tea
Gold and red in your sandy bed
Do you flow to the wide green sea?
No said the river I flow inland
Sink down deep beneath the rock and the sand.
Under the Geeji  and the Mugar tree
Where the desert people can find me
Earth belongs to all, she belongs to no one, she belongs to herself
Earth belongs to all, she belongs to no one, she belongs to herself…..

I was answering someone’s question about how it goes because they recently joined the choir, and I see an image a bit like my drawing in my mind when I sing it.

A lot of people

If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?

I’ve actually thought this through. I would give some to family and friends, it turns out you can gift someone £3000 without having to pay tax. But I would give more than that and gladly pay it. Then I would think of acquaintances to help. I would try and share a reasonable amount. Having done that I would buy a small house and garden, a bit bigger than mine now, but not huge. Enough to neatly fit paintings and books with a warm studio with plenty of light to paint and draw in. A natural garden with pond. It would not be too far away from family and friends. Obviously the cats come along too.

I would have to ensure I could pay all my bills each year.

Finally I would try and donate to charity… I would have to support local as well as national charities.

Deleting photos

My plan on Jetpack /WordPress only gives me a smallish memory for photos and I keep bumping it up to 100%. I want this blog to have either my art and images but sometimes I also use the free photo library on here.

Unfortunately I cannot add new images unless I delete some ols photos, so I’m trying to remove my most boring pictures. That’s not too bad, but the more new ones I add the more slightly better photos I have to delete. It also means I have to optimise decent photos to take up less space.

So if you come across a post without a picture it will probably mean I have deleted the picture to free up space (sorry).