Waiting

I feel like I’m waiting

Watching out

For something to happen

A buzzing, fizzing, aching

Feeling unable to settle

Like the house will fall down

Or a comet will hit

Fires will strike

Things will crash

So I sit

Nerves twisting my gut

Agony and anxiety

Catastrophising

Waiting for my jenga life

To fall..

Procrastinating

Lazy days?

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

I don’t so much have lazy days, more procrastinating ones. So in that case they are unproductive. I’m bound with the strings of fear and anxiety, hard to move. I look on and think about what I could do, but I am blocked somehow. I think I have artistic block?

Lazyness would be nice, to just sit and relax, to stop churning thoughts. Your breath settles, you snuggle in your duvet. No thoughts of ‘I must do’ this that and the other.

I love thinking, I do it a lot, my mind is rarely quiet, but I have learnt to think the word ‘the’ over and over, it breaks the train of thought so you can’t fixate on something that’s distracting you. Not lazy, but it assists me getting to sleep. X