So much changes

Posted on April 22, 2023 Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged Acrylic on canvas, Art, Life, Memory, Painting, painting at last, Portrait, Sister, Time, Work in progress4 Comments

So much can change when you paint! The initial acrylic sketch, then as I painted I realised the eye on the right was too far over, the nose too long, the mouth too big. Having the paint out the eye and restart was hard. I then realised her pupils were not lined up. I’ve refined the nose and tried to improve the shading. I’ve got to sort out the body and arms (her knee was up and in the way), I want to paint nice neat draping cloth instead of jeans maybe add a floral pattern to her top. Her hair is a 70’s perm, but I will work on that. Need a rest now. Three hours work… Thankfully someone reset my phone so it stays on longer, the screen was fading every minute!

Teary eyed

Posted on April 14, 2023 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Art, Drawing, Life, Memory, Sadness, Sister, Sketching, Tears, Thought, Time, Twins8 Comments

I found this on my phone and once again remembered. Those thoughts came back again, sadness, guilt, loss. To lose a sister, it’s not right. When it’s a twin it might be worse. I don’t know. But as our birthday approaches, will I be OK? I somehow feel this should be both of us. I want to get to my next birthday, but the idea seems wrong. I will keep going but I’m not sure I will be happy on that day. And it’s not just me, it’s the rest of the family. I guess we will wait and see…. Sorry to post this but I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind.

Twinned

Posted on April 10, 2023 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Art, Gone, Grief, Learning, Loss, Memory, Poem, Poetry, Sadness, Sister, Sketching, Texture, Twin2 Comments

Sleep, memory, chases my mind.

I remember we were twins

When you were still here

Now your shape is gone

A space left in my landscape

So before I weep again

Bring me more dreams of you

Here beside me

Her next to me

Sister, twin.

Six months…

Posted on March 14, 2023 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Art, Drawing, Family, Friend, Life, Loss, Memory, Pain, Poem, Poetry, Sister, Six months, Sketching, TwinLeave a comment

Six months since I lost you

Six months of sorrow

I don’t remember every day

But milestones on the way

Remind me of a voice lost

A physical presence gone.

When I feel down the loss is greater

I dispare that your life is over.

I still pray for you at night

And I wish with all my might

That you were still here

Even if you were not near

Sister, twin, friend

My love to you

I send.

Cyclamen

Posted on December 22, 2022December 22, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Christmas, Cyclamen, Family, Indoor plant, Life and death, Memory, Plant, Sadness, SisterLeave a comment

A rescue from my sisters house. A pink cyclamen plant in flower. It fits in with the Christmas cactii, a similar shade of pink. I can’t find another place for it because there are radiators under the windows so they are only really good for germinating seedlings.

I would have bought all her other plants home with me to look after, it’s sad to think they are all sitting there in her house, in the cold. It’s sad I won’t speak to her on Christmas day, I won’t be able to share my thoughts, ask how things are going. Be interested in her family. Still, I will look at the Cyclamen and remember.

Missing painting

Posted on November 22, 2022 Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged Acrylic on canvas, blue crab, Fine Art, Gone, Lost, Missing, Painting, Sister, Visit7 Comments

When we went up to my sisters house last week I looked for the painting I had done her for her birthday. She passed away a few weeks ago and I would like to retrieve this and a painting of a lobster I also did for her. Unfortunately the house is full of things, she was like me, a collector of all sorts of things, and I have no idea where she has put them. I feel like I should ask her family for them back unless they want them themselves. So much to sort out. So sad to not have her in my life anymore.

Crochet

Posted on November 18, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Craft, Crochet, Hobby, hours, Knitting, Memories, rime, Sister, Thinking, Wool5 Comments

A blanket by my sister. She was crocheting lots of blankets and granny squares. One of the things she had was many balls of wool. I think they will have to go to a new home. It’s good to see she was creative in a different way to me, but she must have put many hours of work into this. I will truly miss her.

My sister, Farewell

Posted on November 16, 2022November 16, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged bereavement, Death, Family, Life, Loss, Memories, regret, Sad, Sadness, Sister, ThinkingLeave a comment

It’s social media so I’m not sharing her whole face or naming her. But she had a good Farewell yesterday, kind words and thoughts. We seperated in late teenage hood as I left home to go to college. We went in different directions, I think she had a more romantic view of life and she had an almost fairy tale history (married with two children). I won’t talk much about her world, I don’t want to share too much personal information. We were seperated by many miles, but the bond was still there. I wish we had been closer and visited more. Bereavement is full of regret. I do regret, but I don’t feel guilty.

Tired

Posted on November 15, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged apart, Energy, Farewell, Gone, molecular, Sister, Together, Twin, Uncategorized, Universe4 Comments

A long day, a funeral, a wake. Gentle celebration of a lost life. No awful grief, just a summing up of someone that touched many hearts. I am proud of her. I was moved and surprised by her life.

Seeing myself on the photos in tribute to her was a shock, I hadn’t been told they would be there. That touched me deeply. To know that half of me has now been seperated. I touched the coffin and said goodbye. A long day, a painful day, but a joyful day.

Leaves fall from the trees, they gradually break down and disintegrate, but their molecules are still there, they add to more life and energy, they are still part of the universe. They exist, existed, they have not exited this realm. A lot to think about. My gratitude continues as I remember sharing my life with her, my sister, my twin.

Perseid meteor

Posted on August 12, 2021 Posted in UncategorizedTagged 13 August 2021, Astronomy, Clouds, local midnight, Meteor shower, Meteors, Perseid, perseid meteor shower, Science, Sister, Sky, Speed, UKLeave a comment

It was about 11.40pm tonight in the UK. I was looking through my kitchen window looking west. I was ringing my sister to tell her the Perseid Meteor shower was due tonight, when I saw what I can only describe as a fireball flash by heading north west. Two seconds later, my sister who lives eighty miles away saw it too! It flew over her right shoulder and dissappeared. So it must have been travelling about 40 miles a second. Since then I’ve seen about four meteors (shooting stars). It’s clouded over now. But there should be about 150 an hour after local midnight! X

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Sister