Tag: Life

Singing

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I went to choir practice tonight. It was with trepidation and I was very nervous, but I’m glad I went. Breathing in and out, stretching my lungs, concentrating on the words and the emotions of each song. Gradually I felt a bit more like myself. It was scary and upsetting to start off with but by the end of the session I had relaxed a bit.

The only problem was that when I got home with a friend man in high vi’s trousers was wandering in the middle of the road. He watched us as we got out of the car, so we stood outside and loudly discussed if “Tom” or “Pete” were still up. Pretending someone was already in the house. Then I looked at the man and said I would ring the police. He wandered off and my friend sat in her car for five minutes watching out for me. Anxiety is a bad thing.

Medicine

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What is something others do that sparks your admiration?

After my recent dealings with the NHS I have to share my admiration of the doctors, nurses and anciliary staff that work for it.

Many staff cared for my hubby, and he told me they were wonderfully caring, I can only echo this feeling.

I cannot say that all staff are the same, but the ones I met were so very helpful, I only wish we had sought medical advice earlier. But the illness he had was one that is difficult to detect and can be hard to treat.

The amount of knowledge and skills that they require is immense, having had some medical training myself I’m massively admiring of what they do. I only hope the NHS doesn’t fall apart under all the stresses and strains thrown at it by the pandemic, cost of living crisis, and cuts in funding including privatisation that robs it of some of its most important workers and skills.

Asterix the Gaul

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What’s your favorite cartoon?

If I shouldn’t use this image I will delete it.

This was my favourite cartoon whan I was growing up. The stories were funny and cheeky. Asterix and his huge best friend Obelix would take a magic potion if they were going to fight the Romans so that they would have massive strength and defeat their opponents.

The tribe of Celts they lived with were a motley band, the Chief was scared that the sky was going to fall on his head, so his guards had to hold a large sheid over his head to stop it landing on him.

There was a wizard with a long white beard that made the potion. I think he was called Get-a-fix?

Obelix was a massive figure and would carve standing stones and carry them around. He was always trying to get extra potion.

I loved the books and would draw the characters endlessly to try and get my skills at copying images honed. At one stage I think I had all of them.

Window view

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I had various things to do today. Part of arranging my late hubbys final passing. I find it hard to know what to say. My friend came with me to help and we went in the local pub to get a hot chocolate and try and take my mind off things.

Thinking about what hubby wanted I have chosen something very simple and have asked people to think about him on the date and time of the cremation as I am not having a service (we discussed things a while ago). I thought it better to explain so people know well on advance and don’t ask to attend a service.

I really want a celebration of his life, but it will be after Christmas because something so sad needs thought, and the festive season is looming,

Looking out the window, the world was zooming past, unaware of how my day was going. I’m glad we had a break…..

Worrying

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What could you do less of?

I just know I have to be calm and try and deal with life. I’ve got to try and worry less. That’s what my hubby kept telling me ‘don’t worry’.

I hope I can do that, anxiety levels have risen. Fears of what’s happening in the world, the level of cruelty and destruction and war seems to be worse than ever. Or is it just that it’s more reported? Don’t worry?

Of course I’m going to worry, I need to know I’m safe. That I can get my life sorted out for the next three or four years. I need stability, I need support, I have to be realistic.

But I will try not to worry too much.

Councelling

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What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?

Those who read this blog will know that for more than a year I’ve been facing problems. Not as severe as in other parts of the world, but personal ones.

I was lucky to get some counselling and then earlier this year cognitive behavioural therapy. I would encourage anyone who is struggling to go for either of them. I can’t explain, but I feel more in control of the situation than I think I would have done without them. Talking therapy does work.

Now I’m going through more problems, and looking back, well I can see some clues of how I can cope. It won’t be easy.

Sympathy cards appear through the door. I am thankful for them too. I wish people would knock on the door though, so I can say thank you. I think people are afraid of hurting me. I would say when you are in grief every hug counts.