New paintings and regular art updates.
Too hot, too tired
Awake till after 6am
My legs hurt
My shoulders hurt
Can’t get comfortable
Toss and turmoil
Turn and ache
Mind numbed
Saw the dawn again
Slept eventually
Woke at 11am
Hot and tired
Staying in a darkened house
Out of the Sun.
My phone isn’t pinging and trilling as much now my Internet is down. I always take my phone upstairs incase of an emergency, but I frequently will watch a few videos before I sleep. Last night no noises, no pings. I slept well. I don’t know if it’s a real effect because I was really tired. I woke up at 7am but went back to sleep and I just woke up from a dream of someone knocking on the front door.
I’ve probably slept too much but I’m glad I got it. And because I wasn’t constantly checking my phone it made my decision to sleep so much easier. I hope the same happens tonight. Maybe you don’t realise you have 4 unless you actually put 2 and 2 together.
What a day! Rain so heavy it must have weighed a ton! A few sunny spells. So cold I put the heating on, snuggled down and snoozed.
As I type I can hear the cars splashing through the rain outside and loud drips falling against the window round the back. At least my new plants and hanging baskets are getting well watered. I need to do some more gardening. Potting plants on, but it’s easier to shiver inside.
What else did I do? I watched a few YouTube videos and got out to get some cat food. Sheer excitement. Hence the pretty flowers, it’s less boring than today.
Three cats on the bed
Like a Venn diagram
Each in a space
Far enough away
Not to menace
Or chase.
It’s fine for them
Keeping warm
But what shape
Do I have to make
To sleep in the space
That’s left?
Poppy painting, makes me think of sleep, soporific, ancient remedy. Beautiful but dangerous. Trying to channel art nouveau I guess.
Last night I wished I could sleep, all my strategies, thinking of healing, trying to relax, counting backwards,, none of them worked. So I got up after my sleepless night then went out and sang at choir. I could feel the tiredness spreading through me. This afternoon was hard, I was trying to arrange the paintings for the exhibition I’m holding. I feel like I’m having to rely more and more on others and I want my independence.
When I got home I had a bit of tea, but then whoosh! The sleep came without trying. It meant I missed this evenings choir practice, so I felt guilty, I just hope I can sleep tonight. X
I need one if those old fashioned ‘intermission’ films they used to show between films at a Saturday matinee at the cinema to relax my mind. Gentle music and the sight of a potters wheel twirling might help me to sleep. I’ve forgotten the various little strategies I use to try and fall asleep. Pain and discomfort have held my mind up like a theif of sleep. Haunting me in the night. A few, drowsy thoughts and I’m awake again, sometimes disturbed by a heartbeat out of turn or the patter of cats paws. I have things to do today and I didn’t want to be tired. 6am…..goodnight, I will try counting sheep
Sky lightens
Black to blue
To greys
Clouded
My mind spins
Thoughts orbit
Won’t stay still
Words babble
Muddle,
Tired and befuddled
Where is sleep?
Distractions don’t work, I’m dreading the night, time for my mind to run riot. Put the radio on low? I just have to listen. I can’t stop myself. It’s too dark so I put the light on to feel safer. The cats jump on the bed but then want attention. My head spins. My circadian rythms are all over the place. A cup of cocoa doesnt work. Yawning now. 8.30am another sleepless night.
I’m a little perplexed. I’ve been reading a, Brother Cadviael book over the past few nights, to take my mind off things. They are a series of mediaeval murder mysteries that I like. So when I came to bed I thought it would be waiting for me, but it isn’t. I was hot and bothered last night, so it might have fallen on the floor by the bed, but I can’t see it. I also went into the other room this morning but it’s not there either.
Things go missing sometimes, and generally that’s not a problem. I sometimes think there are borrowers in the house ( like the children’s book, with characters called Arrietty and Pod?). But at the moment I just want my book back. It’s out of place, out of possession and position. It’s bugging me. So I’m writing this as another distraction. Mysterious and also frustrating. I guess I will have to give up and go to sleep….
A night visitor, all prowl worn out, purring gently, wants love. Left me no room while I was out. Now do I move him or let him stay? Gentle purring makes that decision easy.
Mallaband-Brown