Facing my fears

Six year old sketch

This came up on Facebook memories and I thought it was so close to how I’m feeling now. Jangling nerves, my heartbeat spikey, thoughts all over the place moving at a million miles a second. Suspicious of everyone. Anxiety and tiredness mixed into a morass of stress. It’s been a bad few days and I don’t know if it’s going to get better. Fingers crossed.

Artrage oils digital drawing.

Jobs not career

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

I’m not a banker, politician, doctor, vet. I’ve done jobs that have lasted weeks, months or years, but none I would call a career. This is the Internet, so I’m not going into details. Why should I tell all and sundry? I did think of taking up a career, but it didnt work out (I failed the interview) I might be rich or at least well off. I didnt follow that path, so in ended up with a series of jobs.

But through it all I’ve been creative, I make art, it might not be the best, but I love painting and drawing, taking photos, making pottery, experimenting. Who needs a career if you have the freedom to be yourself?

Whatever you do, be open to chances, take care, I wish you luck

Gun control

I’m sad to hear of yet another mass shooting in America. I won’t say where, because every few weeks or days there are new reports of them. To pin it down to one murderous incident would emphasise it and possibly diminish previous ones.

Clearly thoughts and prayers doesn’t help. Each time something happens these trite words are uttered. As if a sticking plaster could stop a flooding river.

Guns, particularly assault rifles, are weapons of war. They destroy blood, flesh and bone. Bodies are ripped apart or badly injured. They are meant to stop an enemy, not kill a father, mother or child. Innocent people die, are buried or cremated, and often forgotten in the wake of the next mass shooting.

In the UK we have gun laws, there are very few shootings, so much so it makes the headlines for days if a shooting happens. Yes we have them, and stabbings, but you don’t get mass stabbings here either.

In March 1996, in Dunblane in Scotland, there was a mass shooting of children at a primary school there. Following the shooting the Cullen Report looked into gun ownership. Parliament bought in gun control and most guns were taken out of circulation. There have been no mass shootings since then. That’s 27 years. Yes there have been shootings with shotguns and rifles, but not like the madness in the USA.

The American constitution talks about an armed militia, the right to bare arms. Use that to change the law there. Make the guns the population can use muzzle loading flintlocks, the same as we’re used when the constitution was written.

Thoughts and prayers for sensible gun control!

Fear

I tried to draw an abstract image of fear. Everything is chaotic, your not in control, tight chest and gut. Swirling colours…

I’m not afraid of halloween or anything silly like that, but I’m scared to go out into our garden without my hubby. We have been through a series of thefts from our garden and now I can’t stop looking out of the window to check if anyone had come back. Hubby just rushed out because he saw someone on a bike like his, and I’m afraid to go into the garden incase someone is lurking, so many bad thoughts of what might happen!

Hence the drawing, a bit of self art therapy.

I don’t have one

What food would you say is your specialty?

Cornucopia

I had cooking lessons at school, the classes were called domestic science. I learnt to make all sorts of things in those lessons. They stood me in good stead. I learnt mainly baking, from rock cakes to Victoria sponges. But also things like Danish open sandwiches.

Then as a student I learnt to throw a meal together from scraps and at a low cost. Beans of many varieties were used together with lots of garlic and herbs and tomatoes. With some oil of course.

Later I learnt to cook a good approximation of things like chicken Kiev and other staples such as spaghetti bolognase. They probably looked messy, I was renowned for using chunky vegetables instead of chopping them finely.

So give me a few ingredients and I can try and rustle something up. The important thing is I can afford to eat, many people can’t, or are in situations where they cannot get food at all. I don’t know how I ended up being so lucky, I hope it lasts.

In better news

My leg, that was wrapped up like this several weeks ago, is finally healed! Yippee! No more waiting for it to be re-dressed. No more washing it carefully. I can have a long shower (in the daytime when the bathroom isn’t freezing). I can start going for walks again. Probably in the rain. It’ll be small steps to avoid knocking it, but, Yippee!

Skiing?

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

I used to love cycling downhill, leaning forward and down over the handlebars. I was quite good especially on twisting roads.

I never went on ski trips when I was a child, but I think given a chance I would have been able to do well. But that is the kind of risk I think I would have taken when I was younger. I can imagine slaloming down a beautful snow covered hill. Zooming properly not on a computer screen, but I’ve never had the chance. X