I can’t ask you

Posted on December 6, 2023 Posted in Cat, Memories, UncategorizedTagged bereavement, Black and white cat, Cat, Fear, Hurt, Learning, Loss, Memory, Missing, Spirit, Strength8 Comments

I turned to you to ask you a question. But you were not there. You cannot come back.

You were so knowledgeable, I could mention something and you knew the way my mind was working. You would ask me and be surprised by what I knew. We agreed that I had picked up a lot of knowledge from you. I recognise trains and tractors because of you. I could ask you about chemistry and physics. We would laugh and compete to answer TV quiz questions. Sometimes I would beat you, other times you would beat me. Most often it was a draw.

Thinking of you now I see a hole in the air where you were. A space unfilled by your spirit. You have gone ahead, like going to bed, and I don’t want to follow yet? My bonds are here on earth, close tied to friends and family. Don’t let me loose those bonds yet. I have obligations, how could I let the cats down? My family down. Please look over me and keep me safe in your heart as I hold you in mine.

Thoughts late at night.

Facing my fears

Posted on October 27, 2023 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Anxiety, Artrage oils, Concern, Digital drawing, Face, Fear, Finger painting, Life, Time, Worry4 Comments

This came up on Facebook memories and I thought it was so close to how I’m feeling now. Jangling nerves, my heartbeat spikey, thoughts all over the place moving at a million miles a second. Suspicious of everyone. Anxiety and tiredness mixed into a morass of stress. It’s been a bad few days and I don’t know if it’s going to get better. Fingers crossed.

Artrage oils digital drawing.

Someone in the garden. 2.30 am.

Posted on October 27, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged blood pressure, Crime?, Dog, Fear, Invasion, Late night, Police, pursuit, thieves, Worry6 Comments

I was just trying to get to sleep on the settee downstairs when I heard two male voices talking as they came past our door, a pause, and then another call/response a bit further down. I was suspicious so I turned on the main kitchen and living room light. Then I saw a blurry face rush past the window. I shouted hubby and grabbed the phone. I rang the police, but had to stop my hubby going outside to confront whoever was there. I shouted i was ringing the police. They arrived about five minutes later with a large dog. They didn’t find anyone but said the dog had got a scent so they went off in pursuit! I’m shaking, hubby took a look outside, seems they were disturbed before they could do anything. I hope!

I eant them caught now, this is enough. It’s turning into a nightmare and I’ve had enough worries without this.

Fear

Posted on October 26, 2023 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Anxiety, Art, Digital drawing, Drawing, Fear, Invasion, Life, Loss, Sketching, WorriesLeave a comment

I tried to draw an abstract image of fear. Everything is chaotic, your not in control, tight chest and gut. Swirling colours…

I’m not afraid of halloween or anything silly like that, but I’m scared to go out into our garden without my hubby. We have been through a series of thefts from our garden and now I can’t stop looking out of the window to check if anyone had come back. Hubby just rushed out because he saw someone on a bike like his, and I’m afraid to go into the garden incase someone is lurking, so many bad thoughts of what might happen!

Hence the drawing, a bit of self art therapy.

Robbing spree!

Posted on October 23, 2023October 23, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Blogging, Chase, Crime?, Fear, Life, Police, robbers, robbery, Sad, Shock, theft8 Comments

In shock, two men around 20s were in our garden about 2pm, hubby disturbed them. They took electric shears and other stuff. I saw them go over our gate, tried to grab one. Very shook up.
They both have short dark hair, one with a beard, about 5’10”,black jackets and trousers. Ran up our Road, hubby chased them Police have been. Fed up this is Four Times in a week!

Spoke to neighbours they have had their sheds broken into. It seems like a crime spree. I’m blogging to try and take my mind off things.

I could say pandemics…

Posted on April 24, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1916, Fear, Flight, Flying, Humour, Nervous, phobia, Plane, Poem, Poetry, Rhyme, Scared4 Comments

What makes you nervous?

It rhymes with might

I won’t see this sight

You can keep your air

It’s just not fair

You see I’m nervous

But not being verbose

I won’t write big words

Like phobic? of birds…

I look at the sky

And my, oh my

I see a plane

Flying to Spain

Or over an airport

Where airplanes depart..

You won’t catch me in one

I just think they’re no fun!

So you hear me cry..

I just won’t fly!

Putin attacks again.

Posted on March 9, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Death, Fear, Life, missiles, Putin, Russia, Ukraine, violence, War2 Comments

Yet again Putins army has attacked Ukraine. This morning eighty missiles rained down on about ten districts of Ukraine. Hey were mainly in the east of the country but smoke was seen in Kyiv and Oddessa. The attack killed civilians and damaged places like a nuclear power plant at Zaphoriza (not sure of the spelling). The fact Putin thinks this is OK is terrible. It was not that long ago the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, also in the Ukraine? was destroyed in an accident. Radiation spread across the whole of Europe. But Putin doesn’t seem to care. However many civilians, including women and children that he kills and maims he does not want to stop, till he destroys Ukraine.

Lost

Posted on September 22, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Desperate, Fear, grabbed, Hands, imagery, Life, Poem, Poetry, Sadness, Sea, WhirlpoolLeave a comment

I’m swimming in a sea of loss

Dashed against rocks

Spinning in a whirlpool

With weeds tangling my feet.

Around me are grey souls

I don’t recognise them

But they reach out to grab me

Hands come close

Trying to drag me down

Must try and float

Look for the surface light

For the blue sky

For a rescue boat.

Bombing children’s playgrounds

Posted on May 5, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged CCTV, Children, Evil, Fear, hate, horrors, Peace, playground, Putin, Russia, stop, Ukraine, War6 Comments

Yet more bombings and artillery shells. CCTV showing a colourful playground being blown up. What is this precision bombing Russia boasts about? The world can see. There are satellites looking down. There are photos of the mass graves, proof of the war crimes.

Russians, see what is being done in your name. If I could just prove to one of you that it’s happening. The horrors that simple people, children, the aged and ill, are experiencing, while smug Putin sits and presides over it.

More deaths and attacks

Posted on April 28, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Comment, Death, Evil, Fear, Peace, propaganda, Putin, Russia, Time, Ukraine, united nations2 Comments

A news photo from a few weeks ago from Ukraine

More cruise missiles rained down on Kiev in Ukraine today. The representative from the UN had been visiting, but Russia doesn’t seem to care. President Putin seems obsessed by getting a ‘victory’ by 9th of May. His attacks on Ukraine are despicable. Thousands of people have been wounded and many killed, some are forcably taken to Russia. Beatings and shootings abound and Russian soldiers are digging up the dead to mutilate the bodies and burn them so they cannot be identified. War crimes are being committed. His cutting off gas supplies to Poland is threatening to expand the conflict. He might try and attack Transnistria next. He is being expansionist and is acting like a spoilt boy. Russians can’t get truth because opposition is being stifled with thousands of people being arrested and put in prison. So anyway, that was my rant for today. I pray for peace. I fear more death raining down.

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Fear