Esther’s prompt this week. Sweet or Savory?

This is what I wrote :

I’m having trouble with  diabetes because of my love of that sweet stuff called sugar.
I was sad and upset because of a bereavement and found sweets and cakes became my comfort. Instead of the occasional cake I became obsessed with buying myself boxes of chocolates, or sweet pastries or cream cakes almost every day.
Meanwhile I stopped eating as many savory things. I’m not eating enough vegetables and this has impacted my blood chemistry. So the point I want to make is don’t eat sugary stuff to excess and try not to get addicted to it. I’m trying to be good now…

I can’t ask you

I turned to you to ask you a question. But you were not there. You cannot come back.

You were so knowledgeable, I could mention something and you knew the way my mind was working. You would ask me and be surprised by what I knew. We agreed that I had picked up a lot of knowledge from you. I recognise trains and tractors because of you. I could ask you about chemistry and physics. We would laugh and compete to answer TV quiz questions. Sometimes I would beat you, other times you would beat me. Most often it was a draw.

Thinking of you now I see a hole in the air where you were. A space unfilled by your spirit. You have gone ahead, like going to bed, and I don’t want to follow yet? My bonds are here on earth, close tied to friends and family. Don’t let me loose those bonds yet. I have obligations, how could I let the cats down? My family down. Please look over me and keep me safe in your heart as I hold you in mine.

Thoughts late at night.

Farewell

Somewhere between here and there.

You’ve gone.

Lost in the space between dreams.

Departed, like the ghost of Christmas present.

Full of fun and grumpy too.

Never a dull moment with you.

Life will be so lonely.

Do you know how many hearts you have touched?

If I could hold your hand one more time.

Kiss your lips, say goodbye.

My one and only man.

My green man…..

My sister, Farewell

It’s social media so I’m not sharing her whole face or naming her. But she had a good Farewell yesterday, kind words and thoughts. We seperated in late teenage hood as I left home to go to college. We went in different directions, I think she had a more romantic view of life and she had an almost fairy tale history (married with two children). I won’t talk much about her world, I don’t want to share too much personal information. We were seperated by many miles, but the bond was still there. I wish we had been closer and visited more. Bereavement is full of regret. I do regret, but I don’t feel guilty.

Mourning and bereavement

When you lose someone it is complex and confusing. Especially when it is a sudden event. First there is disbelief, and that keeps flooding back. I keep wanting to talk to the person who is gone. Then I swear at them! Angry with them. Asking why did it happen? It’s unbelievable and shattering. Everything is on hold, I can’t decide what to do for the best. I’ve talked to lots of people, shared some of my feelings. I hope that’s the right thing to do. Life seems bad at the moment but at least I’m still trying to cope. Sleep is another problem. If you see me here late at night I might just be trying to take my mind off things.