Category: Memories

Theft

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My hubby has had about 35 train engines stolen out of our sheds in the garden, 30 carriages, various sizes, n gauge, 00 gauge, tt gauge. And a g gauge train. Plus a mountain bike (black) shopper bike (white) and a Raleigh titanium racing bike and a spade which we think they’ve used to get into the sheds?

I rang the police and they told me to post to social media. I put this on local pages with a bit more information, but I wonder if it will actually help.

Meanwhile in other news I’ve got to keep all three cats in tonight as one is having an operation in the morning. Instead of using the litter trays he just peed in a random box which leaked into the floor so I had to clean that up. I don’t have any airfreshner. Help! Then he threw up a big furball, ugh. Cleaned that up. He’s run upstairs and then hubby came down for a cup of tea.

The world is destroying itself in many places so I shouldn’t grumble. But I am!

Many things

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What have you been putting off doing? Why?

When you go through bad times anxiety and nerves can hold you back. These emotions can make you hold your tongue, stop you going out, make you forget to write to, or email, or phone people. You put off till tomorrow and forget to do today… Eventually everything piles up and you don’t do anything, or just the bare minimum.

But I’m learning through counselling to do easy tasks first, then as they get easier and less onerous you can move on to medium difficulty tasks, and finally difficult ones. But if you have a set back, don’t give up. Start again with things you can cope with and gradually move on. Self repair, self acceptance. Be kind to yourself.

Last week I found myself laughing, I hope I can start doing more of the things I have been putting off. Hopefully…. Unless I get too stressed.

Eighteen

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When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Yes, actually 18. I left school and I was in the real world. I had to leave my old life behind. It was a shock. I felt like I was falling off a cliff.

It’s a long time ago, but I remember fighting to get into college. I had to choose between that and staying in the job I had. It was the biggest decision of my life and I’m glad I made it!

When I was older I thought about life and that your feelings and world suddenly changes. You have rights and responsibilities. You still have support but it’s up to you to follow your own path (if you are allowed to). I realise that I am lucky as a woman to have rights a lot of other people in different cultures don’t have, and seeing the way governments can change, or bring in restrictions, I don’t always feel those rights will be maintained.

I was lucky to grow up and become an adult during feminist times. I hope those becoming adult now continue to have those rights.

River River where do you flow….?

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Words and music by John Warner.

One of the loveliest and unusual songs we sing at choir practice is River River.

These are words from memory but I think they are pretty accurate. I had to look up the writers name as we didn’t have it. I hope I’m not breaching copyright by writing out the lyrics? I will delete ths post if here is a problem?

River River where do you flow
With your water the colour of tea
Gold and red in your sandy bed
Do you flow to the wide green sea?
No said the river I flow inland
Sink down deep beneath the rock and the sand.
Under the Geeji  and the Mugar tree
Where the desert people can find me
Earth belongs to all, she belongs to no one, she belongs to herself
Earth belongs to all, she belongs to no one, she belongs to herself…..

I was answering someone’s question about how it goes because they recently joined the choir, and I see an image a bit like my drawing in my mind when I sing it.

Ballooning

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What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

Fear of heights and flying have held me back from doing this, but if I knew I would have guaranteed safety, no risk of the balloon suddenly deflating, or getting caught in a gale, or plummeting to earth, I might have a go.

I’d have to be on a tethered line, and maybe not go any higher than ten or twenty feet!

Why am I scared? I suffer from vertigo if my feet leave the ground, so even jumping can make me dizzy (I exaggerate), but I think I know where it stems from.

When I was young I was happy to climb up the outside of the swings or the big slide in the park or the ropes in the school hall. I’d climb to the top and hang upside down. So when I was a teenager and went on a school trip I was fine. But I borrowed some binoculars from the school teacher and climbed up a steep hill. I’d wanted to see the view. BUT, when I tried to climb down it wasn’t as simple. The surface was scree, loose small stones, I could feel the ground sliding away beneath me and I couldn’t use both hands because I was holding onto the binoculars for grim death! I finally got down in a flurry of dust and rough rocks, but I think it shook my confidence, I know from then on I was much more cautious and nervous about heights.

Completing a college course

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What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

I realise that sharing information about what course I did isn’t good on the Internet, too much info gets stolen or misappropriated.

I’m giving a rather obvious clue without, stating dates and times. It was a big leap up from what I did before. But it gave me confidence to do other things. My goal was to get a good qualification and I did. I have done other courses since and sometimes I’ve done well and other times not so good. But you have to do the best you can and try and work out where you went wrong so you can rectify your mistakes.

All I can suggest is try and gain the best qualifications you can. Don’t let people tell you off or try and talk you out of it. The world is a big place and having qualifications can hopefully make it a little bit easier to live in.

The French Impressionists

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Who are your favorite artists?

Renoir, Pissaro, Degas, Monet, Manet…. And many more artists. The beginning of a modern French movement, that started to move away from classical art towards a more emotional, abstracted style of art.

The French Impressionists held a ‘salon des refuses’ in 1863 of paintings that had been refused by the official Salon. It was organised because so many paintings had been refused and the Emperor Napoleon III arranged it.

Many of the upcoming French Impressionists were part of this exhibition.

My favourite artist is Monet, from his repetitive paintings of haystacks, to his paintings of the facade of Rouen Cathedral in the 1890s in different light conditions and colours fascinated me. Then his later huge paintings of waterlilies when he lived at Giverny. This was as he got older and his sight was affected by cataracts. I think I remember reading that he was one of the first people to have a cataract operation?

Of course the Impressionists were only the start of changing artistic styles. Post Impressionists, fauvists, expressionism, pointellism, then cubists and so many other schools of art.

Basically there are too many things to talk about. I have books about the Impressionists somewhere? I don’t know where.

Painting

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What is your favorite hobby or pastime?

This was a painting I did a few years ago, it’s of the upper story of Cheddleton Station, in Staffordshire, England.

I still love painting, but my health is affecting what I can do at the moment, I really want to do more. And somehow the anxiety over it is making me struggle to start. Because I’m worried whether I will be able to do a good enough job. I know I’ve been doing a lot of digital art, but it doesn’t have the same quality to me as actually painting.

I’ve spent years being an artist and I don’t want to stop. I admit some of my work isn’t as good as I’d like, I paint fast and rely on my skill to pull things into shape. I’ve certainly put in the hours to get to a good standard. But I wish I could go back in time and make better decisions about my art.

I haven’t stopped, but I might not do as much as I used to, I’m just hoping the physiotherapy I’m due to start will help.

I have too many!

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What would you do if you lost all your possessions?

Books, ornaments glass, clothes, paintings… Clutter.

In some ways to lose all my possessions would make life simpler as long as I had somewhere to go? Our house has got crowded with ‘stuff’, we have collected things over years and years, and we are trying to get rid of some of it.

But it’s easy to become attached, an object can encompass memories, look at it and you look back in time. Does losing your possessions give you freedom? Or is it oppressive? What if you only have the clothes you stand up in, no credit or debit card…. Knowledge of where you live would be important. Knowing how to light a fire, keep warm, find food and clean drinking water. The inhumanity of men to the homeless is a fear if I went through with disposing of my possessions.

An artist did do it. He crushed all of his belongings I think. It was a very powerful art ‘happening’, but what happened to him? Was he paid to do it, has he replaced things, did he survive? The problem is that in a world of thousands or millions of wonders each day, does anyone even notice.

It would be good to dispose of my belongings, to free up myself, but I’m getting too old to survive such a thing. I will have to keep at least some of my things..