Tag: Worry

Wheelie bin news

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I got home from choir practice and found one of my wheelie bins tipped up in the road (it’s normally by the gate into the garden). I put it back because it was a hazard being in the road. I’m not tall enough to see over the gate easily and as it was dark I am not going in the garden.

I checked my cctv camera and there was a flicker of light like a torch about 15 minutes after I went out, but no visible people. I’m not sure if anyone came in. Going to look in the morning. I did have a named police officer so I’ve emailed him with the bit of video. This place seems less safe now.

Worrying

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What could you do less of?

I just know I have to be calm and try and deal with life. I’ve got to try and worry less. That’s what my hubby kept telling me ‘don’t worry’.

I hope I can do that, anxiety levels have risen. Fears of what’s happening in the world, the level of cruelty and destruction and war seems to be worse than ever. Or is it just that it’s more reported? Don’t worry?

Of course I’m going to worry, I need to know I’m safe. That I can get my life sorted out for the next three or four years. I need stability, I need support, I have to be realistic.

But I will try not to worry too much.

Facing my fears

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Six year old sketch

This came up on Facebook memories and I thought it was so close to how I’m feeling now. Jangling nerves, my heartbeat spikey, thoughts all over the place moving at a million miles a second. Suspicious of everyone. Anxiety and tiredness mixed into a morass of stress. It’s been a bad few days and I don’t know if it’s going to get better. Fingers crossed.

Artrage oils digital drawing.

Someone in the garden. 2.30 am.

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Not our garden

I was just trying to get to sleep on the settee downstairs when I heard two male voices talking as they came past our door, a pause, and then another call/response a bit further down. I was suspicious so I turned on the main kitchen and living room light. Then I saw a blurry face rush past the window. I shouted hubby and grabbed the phone. I rang the police, but had to stop my hubby going outside to confront whoever was there. I shouted i was ringing the police. They arrived about five minutes later with a large dog. They didn’t find anyone but said the dog had got a scent so they went off in pursuit! I’m shaking, hubby took a look outside, seems they were disturbed before they could do anything. I hope!

I eant them caught now, this is enough. It’s turning into a nightmare and I’ve had enough worries without this.

Everything

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What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

Recently I’ve been putting my head in the sand and taking avoiding action. Anxiety will do that to you. Pulling my mind and life back up out of it is hard work.

A lot of it is external, caused by things out of my control. But even so I must pay more attention to things. I must not let things to continue to spiral out of my grasp.

The plan is to look at easy, medium and hard things to do. Trying to do one or two or even three of them a day.

What I found was that trying to do all three one day exhausted me, made me too tired the next day to do anything more. I think I am a bit burnt out? Maybe getting things done less quickly and trying to build up is the best way to go?

Anyway I’m going to try and get back to normal soon.

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1.7 Million flee Ukraine

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How can this continue? Millions fleeing a European country, desperate but defiant. Ukraine is still being bombarded by a bully. Women and children and the elderly are trying to escape. They have suffered dehydration and lack of food and power to get out if the country. In Ukraine the temperatures with windchill are due to be between minus 13 and minus 20 degrees Celcius. How can anyone survive in a basement with shells falling around them with nothing to give heat, no way of heating food, no fresh water. The corridors that Russia are setting up lead citizens into Russia or Belarus. Why would you want to move to your aggressors country? This is so difficult, we sit and wait for the next move and the next. This needs to calm down, not be further inflamed. Stop the Madness Russia, Stop the WAR! 🇷🇺 🇺🇦

Omicron, oh dear

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I don’t have the Omicron version of Covid, I did a lateral flow test. But things are getting to me. Mentally I feel run down, fed up, worried, scared even. I don’t want to go out or see people. I missed a few things recently because I’m keeping myself to myself. But I know I’m getting worse. Recent health issues have made me feel more isolated and it’s almost too easy to hide away. Seeing people walking round shops without masks also puts me off….

I will wait and see what happens, but I do think that old addage about discretion is the better part of valour (is that right) might be the phrase that describes how I feel.

Prevaricating

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At the moment I’m stuck with my college work. I have ideas, I seem to know what I want to do. But I have a fear of failing. The heat doesn’t help. I’m ending up doing things at 3am, but it’s not enough. Words circle in my mind, like vultures, ready to sink down on the ruin of my ideas. Prevarication prevents failure. I don’t feel I can do a good enough job.

I must start. By writing this down I’m trying to give me a kick start to things. I need to order a couple of books, but I’ve even held back from doing that. I know I can do the course, but I’m disappointed that I didn’t get higher marks. I have passed each semester though. Why would this one be different? Easier to think than write…

Don’t forget your mask!

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Another friend and her son have tested positive for Covid19. I haven’t seen them for months but I’m very worried. Both are asymptomatic at the moment, I hope that continues. I just wish people would be careful…. Just a sneeze or a cough can spread droplets that land on door handles or chairs or plastic packaging. I had to fend someone off yesterday because she tried to hug me! I felt so close to going in for a hug, but I made an excuse about my sore shoulder. Everyone needs to be so careful.

X

Will Christmas be cancelled….?

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Christmas is coming but will it happen? Our government is locking down the country from Thursday until December 2nd. This is after being advised by the scientists and doctors to bring in a lockdown about three or four weeks ago. No, they didn’t want to harm the economy, close schools, so they decided on a Tiered system, one, two and three… But that doesn’t seem to be working, hospital admissions and deaths are escalating again. So now it’s a lockdown. But then a minister has come out to say the lockdown might extend past four weeks. I don’t know where we will be at Christmas.

The whole thing seems to have been dealt with so indecisively, instead of keeping on top of things we were all given free rein, people travelled across boundaries.

I’m fed up, but I will continue to stick to the rules. I will be careful, I will wash my hands and I will continue to wear a mask, not just for me but also the people around me. Meanwhile the government needs to get its act together. Money is not more important than people.