Grey day

It’s been raining a lot today, but I noticed it was slightly lighter this afternoon and the sun seems to be setting a little bit later. Soon the sun will be setting after five pm, that’s when I know we are getting through the winter. Sitting in the house with the curtains closed to help keep the warmth in makes me feel sad. But I realise how close to being a recluse I can be. I was thinking that I have only been out of the house for a few hours in the last month. Last week I took myself to the shop on my own for the first time in about three weeks (hubby has come out with me to keep me safe while I’ve been ill). Am I being lazy, or sick? I don’t know, I think I’m probably protecting myself, I don’t want to catch anything else and I don’t want to pass this bug on. It’s strange how your mind muddles and loses time when you are in the same place for a long time. It makes you think.

Five years!

Five years? Where did they go? How have I changed and what am I doing differently.

The trouble is remembering everything. It’s half a decade after all. Along the way I’ve made friends here, and also lost a few. Like ghosts they just disappeared from WordPress. People I enjoyed reading most days just stopped, but without resolution or explanation in most cases. Even the ones I found elsewhere then disappeared again off the new platforms.

The trouble is trying to keep things fresh, trying to discuss different ideas. I used to write little short stories sometimes, spooky little tales that had a twist in the tail, but I don’t know if they were any good. I’m still writing short poems some humerous, some more serious. And I try and write about my artistic endeavours, whether that’s about painting or illustration. I hope they are not too boring. It’s been a bad few months and I know I haven’t been as upbeat as I could be. We will see what comes in the future but I hope I can keep going without getting too boring or inconsistent. Thank you for following me! ❤️

Grateful

I started writing and drawing a gratitudes book about 140 days ago and I intend to continue in 2023. I think it helped me through some very bad and sad times, through grief and illness. Through confusion and misunderstanding. If you can just think of a few (three) small things each day, you can take something good away with the bad stuff. I even got my hubby doing it. I had to sketch images to go with the writing and that helps to clarify what I’m grateful for. I shall continue and that’s not a resolution.

Happy New Year in Greek

ευτυχισμένο το νέο έτος
eftychisméno to néo étos

A relative recently went to live in Greece. Its not something I would ever consider because I’m never going to get on a plane (phobia of flying) and I’ll never drive there. But that doesn’t stop me from be interested in the language. I’m not going to start learning it, but it is fun to know a few phrases and as there are Greek people in the area I thought it would be polite to learn this. It is also useful to be a singer in a choir that learns music and also languages by repetition. I’m amazed at how many words I know by heart just from singing them. Greek pronunciation is interesting but by reading the translated script and listening to a verbal translation I think I got it. Anyway my relative has now been sent my best wishes for 2023, hopefully in Greek and not Gibberish X

What’s out there?

There’s something called the Drake equation that hypothesises whether there is other intelligent life out in the universe. I don’t know it and can’t quote it, but I looked it up (see above). The fact that the scientists have even found amino acids in space (the building blocks of life) means that there are possibilities of finding other beings.

The equation looks at how many possible inhabitable planets are out there, whether life could evolve, and whether intelligent life might come about. Then you have to think about time. If an intelligent life form was to exist somewhere else they might send out signals, but it could take millions or billions of years to travel across space before we detected it, and by then they could be long gone. So it would only be possible to communicate if they were closer, tens of years away? But then a conversation with someone even twenty light years away (the distance of a possible habitable planet) would be very boring. One question every forty years, one reply eafter another forty years. And space travel would only be possible at a small percentage of the speed of light, according to the laws of physics. So we might be able to talk but not visit.

It might be great to get a signal, but even if there are other civilisations it doesn’t mean we will ever find out.

27 December

Still feeling rough

I guess this is like a diary entry. I’ve already put had this bug for probably more than two weeks. I think I caught it in a meeting that I went to, there were a lot of people I didn’t know there and at least one was coughing. I’ve tested negative again for covid, so I think I’ve caught something that must be doing the rounds. Lots of other people I know have it too. I feel I might be responsible! Symptoms include a sore throat, a cough which has really gone on my chest, and feeling shivery.

It’s only when I feel like this that I wonder how tiny viruses and bacteria can have such an affect on animals and humans. There must be a lot of them, and as your body tries to fight back does it release toxins? Bacteria and viruses try and get inside your cells and replicate, and your body tries to kill and expel them, but I don’t understand all the physiology. I just wish I was a cat and could sleep through feeling ill!

Still negative

Spending time worrying about whether I have covid means I have not really thought about all the other bugs out there. They can be transmitted differently, for instance by touching surfaces. I think covid is spread more by breathing in droplets.

Anyway, bam! I have got a bad cold or virus, and as many of these haven’t been around as much because people were not interacting or being in close contact with one another. We are all more susceptible to the risks of other diseases now. You might have immunity to one illness, but if you are not in contact with it frequently then it can be worse when you get it again. What fun! Sniffles…..

Ghost stories….

I couldn’t sleep last night and watched a few short adaptations of some M. R. James ghost stories, including one called the Mezzotint. The writer who adapted them is called Mike Gatiss and is well known for his involvement in the Sherlock series of detective mystery TV shows and other clever stories.

I realised that A Christmas Carol is a ghost story! Sounds strange but I think of it as a Christmas story and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside rather than the slight weirded out shudder I get from ghost stories at this time of year. But then I prefer a taut, spooky, tension building story any day to a horror film, all lumbering zombies and nightmarish vampires. The ones where people Always run upstairs towards the danger instead of out the front door and to the safety of the police station (I mean a British police station, no guns, no odd sheriff who arrests you instead of looking for the real culprit, no hidden secret). No I prefer the subtle horror of a tap that continues to drip even after the lead piping connecting it to the mains water has been severed by a hacksaw… Or the gradual encroachment of a garden full of roses with sharp thorns and a deadly scent that can envelope an unwary new tenant attempting to cut back the thorny undergrowth.

And why do they put on these spooky little horrors at this time of year? Is it the lengthening hours of dark, dank, cold, mist and fog? The snow falling so that tracks can be left but then fade before an investigation can find them in the morning? Subtle screams muffled by an unseasonably rising tide? Its like a box of dark chocolates, with Evil centres.

I am quite particular in what I prefer. No evil dead films. More sneaking spooks, less fangs, more clues.

Sunsets missed

I live on the wrong side of the hill. On the other side is where the sun sets. If I see the clouds turning pink I jump in the car to try and catch a view of the sunset! I’ve only seen a few in the last few years, I don’t know when they will be happening. I guess I could look at the times that the sun goes down on line, then I could be there and see the beautiful view. I wish I could afford to buy a house over there.

I wish I had a cats fur coat

He’s snug, warm, as a bug in a rug, he gets curled up in a ball and he’s happy, he snores, puts his paw over his nose, and might be in the warmest tog sleeping bag or under a heavy duvet. Cats have a luxury coat that we humans don’t. We still have hairs and hair follicles, but as we wear clothes we don’t need a fur pelt. I wonder what came first, clothes or bald patches?

Cats still find warm places to sleep though. Usually on our bed. When it gets really cold they sneak under the duvet and snuggle up. They make a fair hot water bottle. The best thing is how they can sense your mood, sometimes they seem to be mind readers!