New paintings and regular art updates.
How do you unwind after a demanding day?
I don’t sleep well at night
But after a demanding day?
I fall asleep in the chair
I close my eyes and hours
Days? Go by…
Sleep is a benefit and a curse
Memories and dreams
Nightmares and revelations
Thoughts and fears
After that I go to bed
Insomnia hits like a brick
And I lie awake for hours.
Today is a hiding day. Lots of thoughts and fears roaming around the inside of my head. I need to get things done but I don’t feel like doing them. I’m going to give myself some slack, just a few hours to feel safe.
Yesterday I was more optimistic, I got some things done I’d been putting off. I’ve even started my gratitude book again. And later I will go out as the cats won’t have anything to eat if I don’t. But yesterday afternoon something happened that put everything into another perspective. And I just froze. I’m only hinting, I’m not going to say, and I think I will be OK, it was something mental not physical. I’m OK. I will be OK.
No, just the camera angle. He does look cute, warm and cuddly. But beware the claws, tickle his chest and he’s OK, but go anywhere near his belly and the paws grab you and his claws will hook into your flesh.
It’d almost 2am, I can’t sleep so I’m watching a silly film and I just looked over to see where the TV remote is and saw him. Now the cat flap has clattered and his sister has come in from outside. I guess she will be looking for a warm chair to sleep on too. Cats cheer me up when I’m feeling really low.
Poppy painting, makes me think of sleep, soporific, ancient remedy. Beautiful but dangerous. Trying to channel art nouveau I guess.
Last night I wished I could sleep, all my strategies, thinking of healing, trying to relax, counting backwards,, none of them worked. So I got up after my sleepless night then went out and sang at choir. I could feel the tiredness spreading through me. This afternoon was hard, I was trying to arrange the paintings for the exhibition I’m holding. I feel like I’m having to rely more and more on others and I want my independence.
When I got home I had a bit of tea, but then whoosh! The sleep came without trying. It meant I missed this evenings choir practice, so I felt guilty, I just hope I can sleep tonight. X
I need one if those old fashioned ‘intermission’ films they used to show between films at a Saturday matinee at the cinema to relax my mind. Gentle music and the sight of a potters wheel twirling might help me to sleep. I’ve forgotten the various little strategies I use to try and fall asleep. Pain and discomfort have held my mind up like a theif of sleep. Haunting me in the night. A few, drowsy thoughts and I’m awake again, sometimes disturbed by a heartbeat out of turn or the patter of cats paws. I have things to do today and I didn’t want to be tired. 6am…..goodnight, I will try counting sheep
I want to sleep soundly
Breathe roundly
Feel calmly relaxed
I don’t want pain
Or even gain
Just deep sleep
Snoring softly
Waking from lofty
Dreams and slumbers
Castles and clouds
Instead of eyes opening
On a dark night
Onto an empty space
Alone
The cats slept but I didn’t.
Little snores kept me awake.
I don’t like the dark
Or the cold
Being on my own.
One cat gets under the covers
Claws out, poddling me
It’s sweet but
Then she gets too hot
Leaping out and away.
I tried reading
But I ached,
My mind raced
Too tired to sleep now.
Third night this week….
Sky lightens
Black to blue
To greys
Clouded
My mind spins
Thoughts orbit
Won’t stay still
Words babble
Muddle,
Tired and befuddled
Where is sleep?
Sleeping is a issue yet again. I’m either too cold or too hot. Lost without my hubby who passed away three weeks ago. I really have a heavy heart. I just spent the last hour or so remembering things we did in the past. Going for bike or tandem rides when we were younger. The feeling of almost flying along, racing each other down hills (I was always more cautious). How he took in a stray cat a few years ago that had come limping into our garden, it turned out to have been abandoned by it’s owner. That cat is now sleeping on hubbys bodywarmer. I think it misses him as much as I do. It’s almost 5am. Going to make a cocoa.
If you didn’t need sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?
Yawn, I need some rest!
I think I would use the extra time to relax and try and relieve stress. Otherwise if I was to stay awake I would try and do too much, use up all my energy and end up exhausted.
It’s a strange concept to think about being happy not to sleep. As someone who suffers from insomnia (typing this at 1am), the thought of not needing to sleep both enchants and worries me. I enjoy dreams and would miss them. But if I could survive without sleep I could also be more creative. Perhaps meditate on art and different styles.
If people could stay awake indefinitely what would they get up to? How many more Police and security staff would we need. Would pollution go up if staff were expected to work 24/7 or would they have time to pursue leisure activities? I think it would be a strange, busy and manic world.
Mallaband-Brown