Tag: Anxiety

Singing

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Do you sing for pleasure, to earn money, to learn something new? Or for mental or physical health?

Singing is good for lung health. It can strengthen both your lungs, chest muscles and help improve your voice. It helps with breathing and can help control your worries. I’ve found it helpful with controlling anxiety. It doesn’t cure it, but it calms it. Yes you could get stage fright, but singing with a choir helps because you are singing with others and that supports all the participants. You learn together and grow together. After about 20 years of singing with the group we sound pretty good. New people join and the group changes, but we all enjoy going or we wouldn’t be there

Some songs are earworms, rolling round and round in your head. Others are hard to pick up. We sometimes drop a tone or sing flat. It’s hard as a low singer to hit the high notes. Some songs are really annoying, but others in the group love them. But as we are all different then we all like a variety of music. Participating is good for you. I’d recommend it to anyone.

Tall dark STRANGER!

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

I was just walking to the post box when I noticed someone in a dark hoodie and trousers walking behind me. I’d decided to post a letter and I’d left my bag at home as I’d decided not to take any money. But I did have my phone in one pocket and was carrying an umbrella in the other hand.

As I walked I noticed he was keeping up with me because I walk slowly so I expected him to walk past. But no he was close to my left shoulder, I put my hand in my pocket because the phone was protruding slightly.  I stopped to look in a shop window across the road so I turned to look at him. He dawdled past me but I noticed he turned and looked back. I started to walk slowly again and watched him. Every few yards he looked back. So I kept stopping and looking in windows. Finally I got to the post box. He was about fifty yards ahead of me and once again looking back. I waited until he ambled off again. Then I turned around and headed home. As I got to side streets I walked up them and then back down. I only noticed him looking back again once.

I felt anxious about this and it made me quite nervous. The man’s appearance and his activity was strange. Was I right to avoid him?

I dont

Posted on Posted in Cat, Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

How do you balance work and home life?

I’m in semi retirement

I’m too young to get my pension but I’m not working either. My health is not good, and I’m having various tests. So what do I do? I’m trying to keep occupied by doing creative things and trying to get some exercise. It’s weird because I’m not used to being like this, I was always strong physically and mentally but I feel diminished. Time is taking its toll on me.

Sorry, this is too serious, but the prompt is tempting me to reveal more about myself. Lots of things have happened in the last five months that have pulled me in different directions but mainly downward. I try to find a balance between not work and home, but activity and non activity. Sometimes it takes me a couple of days to feel right again. Most of the time I clamp myself tight like a barnacle inside my house, not looking for daylight. It takes me time to pluck up courage to go out. I can think about travelling, but I don’t. I think of all the things that could go wrong.

Luckily I have friends who drag me out. I can go to some places easily, but others? The anxiety is too much for me. Just going outside to pick up the milk off the gate can take me hours to decide to do it. And yet meeting friends lifts me up. My cats help too. What would I do without them.

Well that’s my situation at present….

Bee painting

Posted on Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

I was asked to paint some bees today for a craft fair at Growthpoint to raise money for the group. I painted one large bee on a flower and three small ones. I like going to the group. It’s helping me feel a bit less anxious. I can talk to the people there and get things off my chest I’ve had a lot of things to deal with over the last few months, I just want things to calm down.

Happiness?

Posted on Posted in Cat, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Looking at these kittens from 7 years ago cheers me up. The sun is shining, there is a nice film on the TV. But I really feel down and anxious. I want to talk to someone, but everyone has their own lives to lead and I don’t want to bother them. I could ring up but my phone is on the blink. I talk but the person at the other end can’t hear me although I can hear them. I feel like it’s a metaphor (is that the right word?) for my life, frustrated and worried. Will things ever be good again? Will I find a modicum of happiness? I don’t know.

Fears

Posted on Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Today is a hiding day. Lots of thoughts and fears roaming around the inside of my head. I need to get things done but I don’t feel like doing them. I’m going to give myself some slack, just a few hours to feel safe.

Yesterday I was more optimistic, I got some things done I’d been putting off. I’ve even started my gratitude book again. And later I will go out as the cats won’t have anything to eat if I don’t. But yesterday afternoon something happened that put everything into another perspective. And I just froze. I’m only hinting, I’m not going to say, and I think I will be OK, it was something mental not physical. I’m OK. I will be OK.

Exhibition was lovely

Posted on Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Lots of friends came to my exhibition and it was lovely to see them. I’d taken a box of wine and some orange juice and I really was scared that no one would come. It’s strange how anxiety can affect you, but I shouldn’t have worried. I think its like a performance anxiety, stage fright, having to talk about your work, explain the thought behind it. I luckily knew most of the people there so I didn’t need to panic!

The exhibition is on for another week so I should be able to show more people round during the week. X

Appointment

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

Eek, I now have an appointment to see what’s wrong with me and I’m scared. I don’t know what to expect or what treatment I’m going to be offered. My world has been spinning now for a couple of years, so I guess resolving it is a good idea, but my anxiety levels are skyrocketing.

Trying to say calm, repeating the word calm in my mind, trying to relax, stomach is churning though. My shaking has suddenly got worse, I feel like I’m a twisting pretzel or Staffordshire knot, I don’t know how to slacken the pressure.

Standing on the edge of a precipice wondering if I will fall or fly. I think this is just going to be a talk about results, but I really am not sure if I can cope.

Everything!

Posted on Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Do you need a break? From what?

For those that follow my blog you will know I’ve been going through a couple of bad years. I really want things to stop going wrong. I feel like the universe is jumping up and down on my head. I’d like a break. That’s just a few days where I can relax and recover.

Holidays, that’s a word I don’t think I will hear in the future. I have ‘leisure time’ but that’s just sitting being bored because I don’t have anything I can do or want to do. I’ve spent years looking after someone and I’d love to have that responsibility back. The silence is deep sometimes. Thinking is not a ‘break’. We would talk and chat, breaking that silence with serious thoughts or silly humour. I could always make him laugh.. There is no laughter now.

Deaths

Posted on Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , 16 Comments

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

When someone close dies you realise how fragile life is. They can be there one day and gone the next. You then realise the same can be the situation for yourself.

I’m changing my perspective on life, I am not so blasé about it. It’s become precious to me and I want to hold on to it with both hands. I’m not exactly scared of dying, but life is far too interesting to give up on it yet. I’m a very stubborn person and I love a lot of people. They have helped me immensely in the last few months and I owe a lot to them.

I also want to try and enjoy art again. There must be something more I can do. There are lots of ideas in my mind that I would like to get out. I can’t control everything, and sometimes I am very anxious about things, I feel like I am a bit of a recluse now. Easier to hide. But I need to challenge myself and live.