Long day, some nice people came in and saw the exhibition. Then as we were thinking if packing up a man came in and said something along the lines of “this isn’t the sort if exhibition I was expecting” and walked back out. It felt rude. Dismissive, inconsiderate. I didn’t know what to say, perhaps I should have challenged him? Maybe he wanted to see sculptures, or abstract pictures? He might have wanted to see digital photos of canal boats? But it does say art exhibition. Then you get the fear that it’s not good enough. Not fine enough. Not special enough. But I it a lot of love and effort into what I do. It’s my art. I don’t want to do something like anyone else.
So I’m peeved, I feel annoyed, dismissed. Maybe I’m being thin skinned. It’s partly that, and partly because I got £40 out of the bank this morning so I could get us lunch and also buy Richard a book about trains. But somewhere between the cashpoint and the car, or the car and the museum, I lost it. I tried going through my bag and cleared all the old receipts out of it. No sign, I rang the lace I got the money from. No joy. I looked in the car. Again no. So. Deep breath. I must ut it behind me as an annoying day. Tomorrow is another day. Life is like that….
Went out this morning and someone had kicked off my drivers side wing mirror. I know it was kicked off as that side was next to the pavement. I’d heard a thud outside last night which may have been it happening about 2.30am this morning.
I only noticed it as I was driving away, I looked into my mirror only to see the pillar of the door instead of the road behind me. I have my suspicions as to who did it but I’m not saying who as I don’t want to stir up trouble for myself.
It’s part of life but it is very annoying. Just something else to sort out.
Feel like I’ve swallowed glass
Green sharp spikes
lance through my neck.
My nose is burning
My eyes are running…
away from the pain
Limbs ache and feel heavy.
Gargle of salt in water
to ease the hot stabbing.
Shivers and shakes make me want to sob.
Where’s my breakfast, he says…..
I’ve added a cleaning service on my phone. But it seems to have done slightly too much of a deep clean on it, or at least that’s my guess as a non technical person.
My WordPress account is shooting straight across to Facebook again. I will have to try and get help sorting it out. It is annoying, it makes me feel like chaos is taking over….
So apologies if my posts are a bit confused.
I don’t get angry very often but my head is thumping and my heart is pounding. Its making me feel ill I feel so livid. It’s really a trivial thing. I made a mistake and have admitted it. (it would be so much easier if I could explain).
I wrote about the situation here, but realised that I don’t want to get into blaming someone or getting angry at someone on line, its not sensible or helpful. So I have deleted what I said.
I hope my heart will slow down soon, but I still feel annoyed. Is there such a thing as righteous anger? I wanted to shout that they were being stupid, but I bit my lip. I have bottled it up inside. I need to calm down. Life does throw rocks at you sometimes.