I hope they think I’m kind

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Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

It says it all “# be kind”.

Why not? Why be horrible, unkind, cruel? To make life better for yourself by harming others? Too many dictators and politicians seem to think this way. Often they say populist things to the public, while making decisions that often go against their rhetoric. Looking to increase their power. Then again a lot CEOs pay themselves massive amounts above the lowest paid workers. 80 men earn more put together than half the world’s population, that’s about 4,000,000,000 (4 billion) people!

Kindness can be financial, or verbal, it might just be a gentle hug. It might be not enforcing unfair rules and laws that would be detrimental to different races, faiths, or sexualities. Often conflict is about us and them. Being unkind or treating people as ‘other’ or not ‘one of us’ is not what I support.

Basically it simply comes down to thinking about people, thinking what they need, and trying to help if you can, even if it’s only a few kind words. Be considerate, be kind.

Fun with documents (not)

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Someone needs my original document to process a claim. I don’t want to send it as it could get lost in the post. Oh send a certified copy they said. Where do I do that? Solicitors or a doctors? I’m fed up. I’m sick of dealing with paperwork. All I’ve done today is cleaned a windowledge of dead plants that I have neglected recently. It’s all I can think of doing today.

Playing with filters

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I used coloured overlays and an added image of the previous collaged photo on top of this. I like the complexity and that the Christmas tree looks a bit like an insects head.

When I get fed up I like to play with images, creating something new, learning, and keeping myself occupied.

I used the incollage app and photodirector to create this.

Jingle bells

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Symmetrical tree with lights and stained glass windows. Still loving playing with photos and art.

In other news I’m lucky to have so many friends. Things are happening and I’m like a boulder in a raging river, being bashed all over the place, but people keep throwing me lifelines and I feel like things should (not saying will) be alright. Meanwhile I have to keep occupied.

Paintings for a friend

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Over several months a friend has been collecting some of my smaller paintings. She sent me this photo of them yesterday and it struck me how varied they are!

The galleon painting has gold paint on it to give a feeling of the sunlight reflecting back up onto the reverse of the sails.

The small painting of the woman in the woods was taken from a photo from a friend, I loved the atmospheric feeling of it and tried to evoke the colours of autumn.

The dragon is based on an image that I had created for my college piece on the mythology of dragons. I had drawn and designed a children’s book and this was one of the ideas I used for it.

I’m so pleased my art is being appreciated, I love being creative and it keeps me going. X

Green gone!

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My neighbours are fencing off the alleyway which is good because it will stop people getting in through the hedge, but they bought a digger in and grubbed up even more of the hedge. It’s near where my hubby wanted his ashes scattering. I couldn’t argue, I just stayed polite, the builder didn’t care or understand. But when things are sorted I will plant the spikiest holly and pyrocantha hedge that I can!

The builder said “your hedge is over the boundary line” I replied “this was my hedge for over twenty years, you are doing work for someone who literally just bought it”, he seemed to vaguely understand. I just hope he didn’t dig up any hedgehog nests!

Singing

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I went to choir practice tonight. It was with trepidation and I was very nervous, but I’m glad I went. Breathing in and out, stretching my lungs, concentrating on the words and the emotions of each song. Gradually I felt a bit more like myself. It was scary and upsetting to start off with but by the end of the session I had relaxed a bit.

The only problem was that when I got home with a friend man in high vi’s trousers was wandering in the middle of the road. He watched us as we got out of the car, so we stood outside and loudly discussed if “Tom” or “Pete” were still up. Pretending someone was already in the house. Then I looked at the man and said I would ring the police. He wandered off and my friend sat in her car for five minutes watching out for me. Anxiety is a bad thing.

Guilt

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If only? What if? I’m feeling so guilty. Why didn’t I spot there was a problem earlier? All those months of things that were not quite right, we should have gone to the doctors. I should have insisted. Have I neglected you? When I argued with you to go it was only towards the end? Should I blame myself, I can’t blame you.

Was it bad communication? Fear? Not wanting to see what might be wrong? I don’t know, I just feel bad. I need a little rant to try and clear my head. I can’t stop time, or make it go back, I wish I could, what twists or turns would I reverse to have you back? No pact with a deity can change things now. Forever.

Medicine

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What is something others do that sparks your admiration?

After my recent dealings with the NHS I have to share my admiration of the doctors, nurses and anciliary staff that work for it.

Many staff cared for my hubby, and he told me they were wonderfully caring, I can only echo this feeling.

I cannot say that all staff are the same, but the ones I met were so very helpful, I only wish we had sought medical advice earlier. But the illness he had was one that is difficult to detect and can be hard to treat.

The amount of knowledge and skills that they require is immense, having had some medical training myself I’m massively admiring of what they do. I only hope the NHS doesn’t fall apart under all the stresses and strains thrown at it by the pandemic, cost of living crisis, and cuts in funding including privatisation that robs it of some of its most important workers and skills.