New paintings and regular art updates.
Digital drawing from three years ago.
Happy Christmas to you all.
I’ll try not to feel sad in the festive season.
Life must go on. I guess.
Sending virtual hugs out to anyone that needs them. I will think my way out of this. X
Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.
It says it all “# be kind”.
Why not? Why be horrible, unkind, cruel? To make life better for yourself by harming others? Too many dictators and politicians seem to think this way. Often they say populist things to the public, while making decisions that often go against their rhetoric. Looking to increase their power. Then again a lot CEOs pay themselves massive amounts above the lowest paid workers. 80 men earn more put together than half the world’s population, that’s about 4,000,000,000 (4 billion) people!
Kindness can be financial, or verbal, it might just be a gentle hug. It might be not enforcing unfair rules and laws that would be detrimental to different races, faiths, or sexualities. Often conflict is about us and them. Being unkind or treating people as ‘other’ or not ‘one of us’ is not what I support.
Basically it simply comes down to thinking about people, thinking what they need, and trying to help if you can, even if it’s only a few kind words. Be considerate, be kind.
Paperwork
Lots of paperwork
Things to do,
Things to sign
People to inform
Life isn’t just simple
What to cancel
What to keep
Bereavement
You can keep it!
If only? What if? I’m feeling so guilty. Why didn’t I spot there was a problem earlier? All those months of things that were not quite right, we should have gone to the doctors. I should have insisted. Have I neglected you? When I argued with you to go it was only towards the end? Should I blame myself, I can’t blame you.
Was it bad communication? Fear? Not wanting to see what might be wrong? I don’t know, I just feel bad. I need a little rant to try and clear my head. I can’t stop time, or make it go back, I wish I could, what twists or turns would I reverse to have you back? No pact with a deity can change things now. Forever.
What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
After my recent dealings with the NHS I have to share my admiration of the doctors, nurses and anciliary staff that work for it.
Many staff cared for my hubby, and he told me they were wonderfully caring, I can only echo this feeling.
I cannot say that all staff are the same, but the ones I met were so very helpful, I only wish we had sought medical advice earlier. But the illness he had was one that is difficult to detect and can be hard to treat.
The amount of knowledge and skills that they require is immense, having had some medical training myself I’m massively admiring of what they do. I only hope the NHS doesn’t fall apart under all the stresses and strains thrown at it by the pandemic, cost of living crisis, and cuts in funding including privatisation that robs it of some of its most important workers and skills.
Dear Me
It’s been a horrible few days. I’m worried and scared, but I must try and cope. Remember to breathe, don’t hide away. Memories of other situations make me want to do this.
I remember my mom when my dad died, she sat on the settee in the darkness for three days, in the end I wrote her a letter and asked her to look after us, her children. I think that finally got through to her. She seemed to respond.
Writing this is just a way of talking to myself, but to share with others, maybe it is something to think about for other people?
Having fun.
Not
My computer isn’t working
Because I switched it off
Weeks ago
When I hurt my leg
Great!
I didn’t come back upstairs
For months
Now it needs reconfiguring
Go figure
Error
Fig error…
Always by my side. Now I’m a widow. What a weird word. My fate was to be left behind. Yours was to leave first.
The cats keep looking for you. The house is quiet. No explosions of humour and excitement. Just full but empty. Echoing with your life. Your things are everywhere. Your books, your clothes, shoes, things. What do I do?
Lots of support, I’m organising and tidying. Getting advice. Looking for help. Trying to stay calm. Alert about my body, my health.
Time will pass, I will seek support, I must try and go on. Enough sadness for a whole lifetime has poured like molten metal into my heart, burning and breaking. But I must go on.
A random selection of fallen leaves, early autumn, now there are far more. Hedgehogs might be using them for nests, squirrels have places to hide walnuts, and the daffodil bulbs they have dug up!
It’s been very cold for the last couple of days, bright sunlight today with wispy fog in the morning. The frost has come, and in the north of Scotland it’s been snowing. A milder spell is forecast for next week. I’m a typical Brit, obsessed with weather and the seasons.
If you didn’t need sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?
Yawn, I need some rest!
I think I would use the extra time to relax and try and relieve stress. Otherwise if I was to stay awake I would try and do too much, use up all my energy and end up exhausted.
It’s a strange concept to think about being happy not to sleep. As someone who suffers from insomnia (typing this at 1am), the thought of not needing to sleep both enchants and worries me. I enjoy dreams and would miss them. But if I could survive without sleep I could also be more creative. Perhaps meditate on art and different styles.
If people could stay awake indefinitely what would they get up to? How many more Police and security staff would we need. Would pollution go up if staff were expected to work 24/7 or would they have time to pursue leisure activities? I think it would be a strange, busy and manic world.
Mallaband-Brown