Bravery?

I decided to write a poem on a poetry page on Facebook. Here it is.

I would like to be brave and post something here.


But my poems are mostly spontaneous.


An explosion of thought on the page.


My mind dances around thoughts,


Spiralling into nooks and crannies.


Flying across the landscape of my brain.


Hopefully landing safely and intact.

Where are our frogs?

Image from BCB exhibition

We were in the garden today topping off the new bamboo fence with chicken wire to extend the height. As we stood next to the old pond I wondered if the frogs have snuggled down in the mud for winter? We need to replace the liner, but it’s going to be too cold for a few months. Perhaps we should wait until after frogspawn season.

Frogs seem to have controlled the slug population, we have Hostas happily growing next to the pond, and the leaves look healthy. Now we’ve got on top of the fencing issue I feel a little safer.

Although a man did walk along the alleyway today as we were working, hubby told him to go away in no uncertain terms!

Ballooning

What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

Fear of heights and flying have held me back from doing this, but if I knew I would have guaranteed safety, no risk of the balloon suddenly deflating, or getting caught in a gale, or plummeting to earth, I might have a go.

I’d have to be on a tethered line, and maybe not go any higher than ten or twenty feet!

Why am I scared? I suffer from vertigo if my feet leave the ground, so even jumping can make me dizzy (I exaggerate), but I think I know where it stems from.

When I was young I was happy to climb up the outside of the swings or the big slide in the park or the ropes in the school hall. I’d climb to the top and hang upside down. So when I was a teenager and went on a school trip I was fine. But I borrowed some binoculars from the school teacher and climbed up a steep hill. I’d wanted to see the view. BUT, when I tried to climb down it wasn’t as simple. The surface was scree, loose small stones, I could feel the ground sliding away beneath me and I couldn’t use both hands because I was holding onto the binoculars for grim death! I finally got down in a flurry of dust and rough rocks, but I think it shook my confidence, I know from then on I was much more cautious and nervous about heights.

At my age?

How do you plan your goals?

I’ve got to the age where I take each day as it comes. I don’t plan so much because something will always come up and bite you just when you think things are going to be OK so you moderate your expectations.

A few years ago I had plans to finish work and become a successful artist. I am an artist, just not very successful! But I don’t intend to be a business entrepreneur. I paint and draw for pleasure not fame.

I wish I had the skills to plan goals, but when I used to be questioned at job interviews… Where do you see yourself in 5 years I was daft enough to say “still here”. I guess I like a modicum of security.

If you are going to make goals for yourself enjoy them, they may be simple or complex, just look after yourself. X

Fit a battery

Create an emergency preparedness plan.

Our smoke alarm went off twice today. No smoke, no fire, no heat. I will buy a new battery. But it might be a spider has moved in and it’s feet have tickled the sensor? I think I read it can happen.

We have two more in the house and they are both working. So I feel safe and everything is ready for action.

The plan is

Wake up if the alarm goes off.

Wake hubby

Go downstairs if safe,

If not try and get out of the bedroom window.

The only problem

I’m too old to climb!

I don’t have a ladder.

So turn everything off at bedtime!

Have keys in the lock so I don’t have to find them!

Security

Are you seeking security or adventure?

At my age I prefer security. I used to like adventure, but I’ve grown out of it!

When I was young we used to cycle all over the country, riding a bike or a tandem for miles. We would go out and ride at weekends to different destinations. We would also catch the train and then cycle from there to campsites or a place to visit like a castle or a forest. One of my favourite places was Grizedale Sculpture park. On that occasion we had got a car and the bikes were tied to the top of it. We parked at the campsite and used that as a base to cycle all around the lake district.

One day I was cycling home from a friends houss and was hit by a car. I ended up with a fractured skull. From that day I became nervous of cycling. After a couple of more years of riding the bike suddenly collapsed underneath me. It had been damaged in the accident and the brazing had broken on the bike headset. It took months to get my bike repaired by which time I had started to drive more frequently. My health got worse and I was not able to ride my bike any distance.

I think it was about then that I became more risk averse. I still liked to go and do adventurous things but I was more careful. Nowadays I am even more concerned with safety. Covid and the pandemic has made me more aware of my situation and my security. I guess that I realise my life has changed, and I can not do things I would have happily done in the past.

No lateral flow…

I need a lateral flow test kit but I have a problem. I tried to order one off the NHS website but it said to go to your pharmacy. I went to my pharmacy and they had run out. I was going to something tonight but I won’t now as I can’t do the test and we are required to take a test before we go. I don’t think we are very organised in this country. Sometimes things go wrong. We generally ‘muddle through’, but this is important for people’s health. So I will keep trying and hope to get more tests soon. I’m careful, cautious, and want to keep others safe not just myself.

Mince pies and stollen

It was just me and my hubby together for Christmas, but that means no pressure to get all the trimmings done! I haven’t made a trifle yet, I will probably do so for New year’s day. We had a £3.80 chicken for our Christmas Dinner (a medium turkey crown in sainsburys was £27.90!) We had a few beers and I made pigs in blankets to go with the chicken. I also roasted all the veg including the sprouts. There are plenty of left overs for sandwiches today and I don’t have to think about turning a turkey into a stew and a curry later in the week. The one thing I miss though was having a party with my sister, but I’d rather make sure we are all safe.