Floor paint

Seeing the floor in the Spode Factory is a memory of what went before. Industry and creativity joined. Scratched and chipped, the surface is damaged. Most of it is hidden by studios on either side of a central corridor. When you go into the studios some have metal, single glazed windows that let in the cold of winter. And once the cold gets in it doesn’t seem to get warm again till March!

The building is solid concrete and brick, with arched, barrel shaped ceilings high above. I think any heat rises up there and is lost to us on the shiny, scratched floor.

But here people worked hard to create beautiful ceramics, magical pottery, a hive of hot activity that didn’t need heating because of the kilns and machinery, now long gone.

Friends

Who are your favorite people to be around?

So lucky to have many friends. I admit they have had to put up with a lot from me lately and I appreciate every minute they have given to me.

For the first time in 63 years I was on my own in December last year. Without those friends I don’t know if I would still have been here.

Time moves on and you lose track of people, trying to find them again hurts when they just seem to have vanished. But I have managed to track some of them down through Facebook (whatever happened to “friends reunited”?)

I hope we maintain some of those interrupted friendships. Covid didn’t help, although Zoom meetings made life a bit easier, but I’m glad not to do them anymore. X

Duchovny portrait

Digital drawing I did of David Duchovny about 10 or 15 years ago (when the X files was on TV?).

It’s another one of my drawings at Sketchfu before the website closed. I had a great deal of fun drawing there and it seems so strange not to be able to draw there anymore. I loved doing portraits on the site.

Crying

A local author and friend, called Fred Hughes, wrote an article on Facebook and in our local paper talking about how, as he has grown older, he has found himself crying more. One example he gives is when the Leopard Hotel in Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent, burnt down two years ago. He lives nearby and found himself bought to rears because of all his memories of what had happened in that place, meeting people, enjoying good company and hospitality. He said that apparently hormonal changes can affect men because they are bought up to be stoic and strong. It must be a real shock to the system to allow grief and sadness out.

I think crying is good for you. Women do seem to be able to cry more often? I have wailed and cried and felt deep grief recently, not least because of the Leopard fire. The last two years have affected me a lot with various events. I’m not a stoic person although I try, when you have worked with people you have to try and stay professional. But without crying I would have exploded!

Not everyone can answer this.

What were your parents doing at your age?

Having a parent die early is awful, but a lot of people have this experience with either one or both of their parents.

In my case it was one, and the other was still working to support themselves at my age now. Income can drop drastically when you lose someone. My siblings and I did part time jobs to help support the family. My parent worked in two jobs to care for us. We mostly managed, and had to learn to be strong in the face of adversity. Sometimes we got help, but mostly we coped. Using a coat as an extra bedspread was a normal experience, and cold food more often than not saved money.

No one wants to lose a parent, or parents, and I’d give anything to speak to both of them now as the remaining parent passed away at a relatively young age too. It worries me because I don’t think we are a long lived family, but I want to be around for a good few years more.

Digital rose drawing

I used to draw at a website called Sketchfu before it closed. It had simple tools to draw with, no complicated applets, and consequently it was open to a large number of people.

Eventually it became a massive site and the owners lost interest in it. I was a moderator and had to deal with a lot of problems over the years I was there. I won’t go into details but it included bullying and inappropriate language and messages. There were a few of us that were allowed to remove inappropriate content but it was hard work. (I also moderated another site but did not disclose my role). When someone draws the same rude or racist image over, and over again for hours, but you are there deleting them as they appear, they eventually get fed up and stop. But if you admit you are a moderator you get a lot of stick, so I kept quiet. At one stage I was working in a full time job and coming home and doing four or five hours moderating!

Anyway I loved creating digital drawings, including portraits. I loved doing challenges. Someone would post a photo and we had to try and copy it. I’ve just found some of my old pieces so I might post a few of them over the next few days.

Everything!

Do you need a break? From what?

For those that follow my blog you will know I’ve been going through a couple of bad years. I really want things to stop going wrong. I feel like the universe is jumping up and down on my head. I’d like a break. That’s just a few days where I can relax and recover.

Holidays, that’s a word I don’t think I will hear in the future. I have ‘leisure time’ but that’s just sitting being bored because I don’t have anything I can do or want to do. I’ve spent years looking after someone and I’d love to have that responsibility back. The silence is deep sometimes. Thinking is not a ‘break’. We would talk and chat, breaking that silence with serious thoughts or silly humour. I could always make him laugh.. There is no laughter now.

Memory and singing

Five or six years ago our choir learnt ” I walk to Jo-berg” to sing at a choir festival. It’s a good song, full of different sounds, English and Afrikaans words. Someone in the choir requested that we learn it again.

Not all the old choir members are still with us, but within minutes we knew what bits to sing. WE WERE SINGING JAZZ TUNES we hadn’t sung in years. It was fascinating how we could recollect it. You scratch your head and think I’ll never remember that, and then it’s coming out of your mouth without you having to struggle! We were singing in four part harmony and building up sections. We had a great time and we really enjoyed it.

Recent studies have shown that learning a new musical instrument or learning to sing can improve mental acuity and memory. And it’s fun!

Himself

It was summer in 1981, I was on holiday from college. I wanted to paint my then boyfriend, later husband. I had oil paints but no canvas, so I got an old wooden door. I carved and sanded it a bit to make it more interesting. We were living in a shared house and the curtains were in our living room. I remember they were bright yellow. I love this painting, it brings back great memories.