It might snow

Amber warning of snow and possible snow up to 10 centimetres. Also temperatures down to – 10°C. It makes me worry about people sleeping out on the streets. I see them more and more. I buy the big issue off sellers and try and give a few coins, but it’s not much. When you think about it people are struggling with increasing rents and mortgages, people are barely coping. I can only hope that this government try to do more than the last one? But I worry that the poor are often seen as deserving or undeserving when rich people are always fine. Oh I don’t know, I just want us all to be safe. X

I must feed the birds

My hubby always fed the birds at this time of year. I just realised that I need to take over. But I rarely get out in the garden because of being so unsteady and the fact that there are uneven steps,and the pathways are covered in leaf mould. I must make a plan to try and get out and feed them, other than that I think I will ask a friend.

Chilly

There was a clear sky this morning and a red hue hung on the Eastern horizon. The day has stayed cold, and consequently the house has been cold. I only put the heating on for a few hours then turned it off. I have now put it back on for the evening, it’s too cold!

My house only has a building on one side, so the other catches sunshine in the daytime and leeches it out at night, so depending where you are in the living room you can get warm, but it’s also draughty due to ill fitting doors and old double glazed windows. Currently I have a plug in oil heater opposite me to surround me with a bit of warmth. I used to put the gas stove on in the kitchen but since that stopped working I don’t really have much more ways to stay warm so I’ll put a dressing gown on soon.

Another year almost gone…

Tempus Fugit

Time flies, life goes on

Hurt and pain are never gone

Somewhat diminished

But still living here

Coiled round my heart

With everything dear.

Life seen in chunks

Days weeks and months

One year follows another

Some I can smother

Forgetting the pain

But then it rises again.

My life will continue

My future uncertain

Draw back the veil

Open the curtain

On next year’s adventures

And will I have dentures?

(well I couldn’t find a better rhyme…!)

Political views

How have your political views changed over time?

When I was young I voted one way, the same as the rest of my family. I was very young and influenced by their long term beliefs.

When I left home I moved into shared accommodation, I realised I had been living in a bubble at home, I hadn’t had the responsibility of paying bills before, or other things to deal with, like not having hot water and having to shower at the college. I met different people and they had different political views. Over the years I changed my priorities and my political allegencies.

All I would say is that it’s good to think for yourself, look at how life is and make a decision that is good for you, and the people around you.

Lightshade

Yes it’s a lampshade. Made up mainly fake bivalve shells. Yet another odd old thing my house is decorated with. I often wonder what will happen to my stuff when I’m gone? Do I specify that all my art (lots of paintings) will be shared out to family, donated to a local museum, my old school? Maybe someone will like it enough to buy it if it were sold in an auction? Is it persuasive enough for people to like? I won’t be there to find out.

Sketchbook

I need to draw again, but with my Parkinsons it’s so hit and miss. I need to be still enough to stop the tremors transfering  onto the pages. Either my drawing hand shakes or the hand holding the Sketchbook shakes, it’s like being a human seismograph! If I had the gumption I would use it to my artistic advantage. I’ve never wanted so much to colour outside the lines but in a coherent, not random way. My life needs to settle down so my mind can too.

I don’t know

Share what you know about the year you were born.

I was born on a beautiful planet

A long time ago.

We hadn’t visited the moon

And Superman hadn’t flown.

The world was overpopulated

With a few billion less people

No such thing as a Tesla existed

But we were not bothered.

Shops mainly closed on Sundays

And had half days in the week.

Butchers shops had sawdust

My head was a lot closer to the ground!

No mobile phones, lucky to have a phone box

Wimpy meals instead of McDonald’s burgers

Coffee was in a bottle, liquid, with chicory?

Sweets had not shrunk.

No sweeteners, no noodles, except in Vesta  meals

We hadn’t been decimalised!

We were not in Europe (common market).

And Dr Who hadn’t time travelled yet.

Enough information?

Sometimes

Are you a good judge of character?

What’s on the inside isn’t the same as the outside. You might think one thing about a person based on their physical appearance only to find they are completely different to what you expect.

I’d say mostly that I’m a good judge of character. I’ve met many people over my career and my home life, and mostly it’s been OK. But not always, on a couple of occasions I had to give up on friends who tried to split me and my hubby up, I found out one was saying things about me to needle my hubby into leaving me. I realised that the language he was using was in her way of speaking. It was her attitudes that he was spouting. When we talked it through he thankfully understood that. The second situation was a woman that tried to have an affair with him. She was always calling round when I was out. He told me what she was up to, and we ended the friendship.

Other people have fooled me at work, but you cotton on eventually. It can cause heartache when you mistakenly trust people. But you have to live and learn.

Isolated

When Covid happened I got used to living in my bubble with my hubby and my cats. I never really came out of that isolation. We were both travelling less and as we both started to suffer with various ailments we often didn’t feel like visiting people or travelling far. I saw friends, but not very often.

Then when I lost my hubby last December, and I had various health issues I virtually stopped going anywhere except to the shops, appointments or the choirs I am in. My one day away this year was a coach trip with a group I am in to the Welsh coast to visit a relative. I was there for 5 or 6 hours then caught the coach home. I’ve found I cannot drive there on my own. I was too used to having my hubby with me as a passenger and I didn’t realise how much I relied on him as a support (and I was supporting him). Nerves and anxiety and illness seem to stop me.

Now I don’t like to bother people, so I try not to ask for help. I stay inside as much as I can, curtains closed, door locked, just occasionally going to the shops when I have run out of most things. I find big supermarkets overwhelming and go round them in the evenings when they are quiet. I know I need to break out, I’m to comfortable with the isolation, but I’m sure it’s not good for me. Plus I miss appointments because of anxiety. I need to pull myself together.. But my curtains remain closed!