Tag: Humour

dragon stone

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A few weeks ago I got a stone painting kit. I used to paint them a lot. I’ve painted little mice, and hedgehogs and other creatures on stones, so I know what I’m doing.

This dragon stone didn’t turn out as well. It’s a bit too blobby, it lacks definition. you can just about work out what it is but I think I have overworked it. It is meant to be a curled up dragon which has fallen asleep on a red cushion. I think it must be a tiny species of dragon, only about four inches long. You can have small lizards so why not small dragons? I think they live in the cracks in stone walls. They eat lichen and set fire to tiny sticks and grasses if they want to get warm. I wonder if I could turn this into a story? Pixies using them as transport, or for flying after honeybees to raid their hives? Imagination is a mad thing….

Mornings…?

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I try and write a limerick for Esther Chiltons blog on a Monday. Someone puts a prompt word up and people respond.

I usually forget to copy my limerick for myself but I did today. Its a bit clumsy, the lines are quite long, but it does have the structure of a limerick. That is the first two lines have the last word rhyming, the next two lines rhyme with each other and then the final fifth line rhymes with the first two.

Here it is, the prompt word was ‘lark’ which can appear anywhere in the limerick, not necessarily at the end of a line.

I’m very rarely up with the lark
Early attendance I get a black mark
Just goes to show staying up late
Does not myself an early bird make
I get up so late, its already gone dark!

This mornings limerick

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I usually write a limerick for Esther Chilton Blog on a Monday. Last night I suddenly had a pain in my back. Why? I do not know but I don’t want it!

I wrote this in response to the word HOPE which is what the days prompt was.

I hope my back will be alright
It started hurting in the night
I took a pill
And hope it will
Be better by the morning light!

I hope it feels better soon. Its one thing after another!

Documents

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Please provide…. ‘ xxxxxx’ said the email. Various documents for our insurance claim. So, you then realise you have too many documents. Piles and piles, because you don’t want to have identity theft and the shredder got too hot last time you used it….

So, going through pile four of eight lots you find one thing. You ask hubby if he knows where things are and he hands you something. So that’s two out of ten things you need…

I looked through it all. Found nothing else.. Rang up the shop we bought the thing from… Yes they can let us have a copy of something..

Then I looked at the table I’d got things on. There underneath everything was a crucial document. I hadn’t seen it before because I had put it upside down to write notes on the back! Phew!

Then I asked hubby because I can’t find another document. ‘that’s online ‘ he said. I found the email… What’s the password? ‘I don’t know’ came the reply.

Having a rest. Will ring Monday. Peeved.

Cat, shut the door!

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It’s cold, there’s a draft from the back door. I could shut the door, but the cats come and go. A paw to pull the door open, or a nose to nudge it from the other side. Result? The door is open about 8 inches and the cold draft gets in. But we are told we need better ventilation because of covid19 so I suppose I shouldn’t complain. I wonder how difficult it would be to put a cat flap in an internal door??

Cats are very clever, but they don’t know ‘how to put the wood in the hole’ (a way of saying shut the door). I guess they have fur coats and can curl up with their nose tucked under their paws or tails. I just wish they could shut the door. Maybe I could put a magnet on a collar and get some sort of mechanism to make it shut, who knows? I’ll just get up and push it too again…

Big cat

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Ex-outside cat slept on the stairs last night. He sometimes sleeps on our bed now but instead he was halfway down and I almost stood on him. He is very big and was lying on about two thirds of the step. Luckily I just saw him in time. He is a real character, when we are in the living room he sits between the arms of the chairs we sit on. He seems to really want to be with us. I hope we have completely gained his trust.

Since he moved in with us he’s put on weight and become much calmer. He seems to be very settled with us now. He also gets on well with our other two cats despite him being twice the size of our small female cat. I can’t imagine a time without cats.

Sweetie Gwurly

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Does anyone else talk to their cat using nicknames and silly words?

I catch myself calling them foofs, and chuzzies, tussy pats, fluffiez, nus-nus.

I call the boy cats nussies, mussy cats, twuddles, puddy pats.

I call the girl cat fluffy chuff, sweetie gwurly, little fud, and hus.

There are other words I can’t remember. I’ve always done it with all my cats. I don’t know why. I think they are ‘terms of endearment?’ I think I probably do it all the time. They are similar sounding to either their names or alternative words that mean cat like puss, pussy cat, puddy tat etc. Am I strange?

Women don’t always like shopping!

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Retail therapy, that’s what women shopping is something called. And yes sometimes going out and buying things can be fun. But it’s not something I can afford to do all the time.

Normal household shopping is more mundane. How many tins of beans or loaves do I need this week. Will I need to go out more than once? How long will things last?

My hubby says he hates shopping. So I asked him if he thought I enjoyed it? We don’t have the skills to order on line and I prefer to vary what I get. I like variety when I shop and seeing the things that are there.

But shopping is not a pleasure. Its a chore. Like washing up or doing the dishes.

Let me let you into a secret. Women are not genetically programmed to do household chores. We are not robots, not domestic goddesses not slaves or maids. If we have partners they should share the work. Just because women have generally always managed household chores doesn’t mean they always will do or should.

I can’t understand why you can call a woman a ‘slut’ for having an untidy or messy home, but you can’t use the same expression for men? Why are women picked on?

‘Treat them mean, keep them keen’ ? No ‘Treat them fair, do your share!’ Should be the slogan!