My brain must be decaying.
Or I’m getting very old?
I forgot my manners
And didn’t even post
Lacking sleep and busy
I just realised
No words were written down
No thoughts discussed,
No post forthcoming
I simply slept
And forgot.
I forgot to post!
Tag: Aging
Short, older middle aged, tired
How would you describe yourself to someone?
Oh and an artist, a singer, enthusiastic about caring for people. Thoughtful, enjoys science, and thrillers, and fantasy, and sci-fi. Cat lover, cat mother. Not too well, but surviving. I don’t know when to relent and let myself rest. I’m stubborn, if I have a strong opinion and I will try and get my point across.
Physically I don’t think I’m as well as I could be but I do try and look after myself. It’s sometimes difficult to cope but I manage.
I could do more
What could you do more of?
If I could do more exercise, I think I would be healthier. But everytime I try and do something? Something else goes wrong with me. I’m like a car that had had all it’s wires disconnected and put back in the wrong places. My head would fall off if it wasn’t screwed on! I know I need to do more but I’ve hurt my leg (well my cat stuck her claws in it) and it started to weep. Now I’ve got a cold. I just feel fed up of being a wreck.
I think I will do something about it soon, in the hope I can improve my health. Fingers crossed.
Painting
Describe your ideal week.
I would spend time at my studio at Spode, painting, or drawing. My plan is to try and go back to it. I spent a few years there, then covid happened and I lost my nerve a bit. I started to go back, but health issues cropped up. If I don’t return soon I never will, but I’ve built a wall round things in my mind. If I can’t do things properly I seem to freeze up.
My ideal week will be less stressful, full of real art, not just quick digital drawings. I would then build on it, even if I was only in my studio a couple of days a week. I would try and produce more small paintings for craft fairs, but it’s about time I started doing some ‘proper’ paintings real fine art, not craft based. I just need to get my confidence back. I have good intentions but I keep prevaricating. Maybe I can have that ideal week. It needs to be soon….
Blurred vision
Vision changes with age. If you have shortsightedness it can sometimes get better because your eyeballs can shrink with age, that means the image hitting the retina at the back of the eye comes back into better focus. On the other hand the lens in your eye can start to stiffen and the muscles around it don’t pull on it as well as when you are younger. So the lens does not focus as it used to. This is called presbyopia and tends to affect people over forty (if I remember). Hence vision can change with time. Worth getting an eye test?
Floaters
Do you have floaters in your eyes? When I look at anything I can see vague shapes floating about in my eyes. Luckily they are mainly around the periphery of my vision. I just drew this eye and tried to mark out their positions and opacity/transparency, The trouble is as you move your eyes or head they move and ‘float’ about too ( I guess thats why they are called floaters). Sometimes they’re very obvious, like on a bright sunny day they look like the shadows of birds flying overhead, or against a bright screen they can look quite dark. From talking to my Optician I believe they are the shadows of dead blood cells that are loose inside my eye. They either leak out or are pulled out by the gel in your eyes shrinking as your eyes get older. Mine are mostly unnoticable except when I’m concentrating on a drawing, or looking closley at something. Sometimes I see them when I’m driving , or on a snowy day. I wish I had asked the optician more? I think its something to mention if you have them as the optician needs to know, and it may be indicative of something going on. But don’t panic. Just take care of yourself.
Age
Aging, wrinkled
Face more ridged
Than a fingerprint.
Saggy, baggy
Loss of smooth
Crumpled, crinkled
Twisting, turning
Reshaping
You exchange
All your atoms
Every seven years?
Why are all mine
Second hand!
Sleep, circadian rhythms….
Dear Agony Aunt,
My sleep patterns have stayed the same for twenty years. Staying up late was to do with being awake when my husband got in from work around 1am. I would then have to get up for work in the morning so was always tired. He could sleep in later as he was on a permanent “noon” shift. Now however he goes to bed a lot earlier than me. If I go to bed early I have to read to relax and then I can nod off. He, on the other hand, must be in a different time zone to me. He goes to bed if I have to go out in the evening. The last two nights when I got in he was in bed by 9.30pm.
Great you say. But then he woke up at 2am as I was coming to bed and we ended up chatting till 4am. It was getting light.
So Dear Agony Aunt, what do I do? Eschew grown up bedtimes and go to bed early. This would have the effect of trying to get us back in sync, but I would have to miss late night TV and news. Or should I just go to bed when I want, which would at least prevent me lying in bed trying to get to sleep for hours. I’m hoping this is a phase. My hubby is getting older but he lives on nervous energy, he’s always moving and talking in the day, and it’s like his batteries have drained in the evening. Maybe I should make him strong coffee….
Life
The older you are the faster life seems to go. Whether it is because of all the experiences you have had so you know what to expect, or your mind is so used to days flowing into weeks and months….. Its like the song, you turn around and youth has gone, summer turns to autumn and winter.
This year has been one of the best in my life in some ways. My health has been OK, I’m not at work so I don’t feel all the stress I used to, and because I lost weight I have been able to get about better. In contrast time seems to be affecting my partner more. He is still fit, but struggles to stand up and does not exercise as much. I’m sure it’s more to do with putting on weight, but it’s not helping that he is older than me.
I wish I could go back in time and explain what happened to me as I got older and tell myself what mistakes to avoid.
Life goes on, now I’m more thoughtful and perhaps too cautious. More bothered about going on long journeys and even stupid things like driving in the dark.
Life keeps going. I do as I’m told (mostly) by my doctor. I’m lucky at the moment to have health, home and some happiness. I just hope I’m not tempting fate by saying it!
Mallaband-Brown 