Having fun.
Not
My computer isn’t working
Because I switched it off
Weeks ago
When I hurt my leg
Great!
I didn’t come back upstairs
For months
Now it needs reconfiguring
Go figure
Error
Fig error…
Bust computer?
Author: artbychristinemallabandbrown
I'm an artist based at the Spode factory site in Stoke on Trent. I paint, draw and create digital art. Contact me at mallabandbrown@aol.com
Councelling
What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?
Those who read this blog will know that for more than a year I’ve been facing problems. Not as severe as in other parts of the world, but personal ones.
I was lucky to get some counselling and then earlier this year cognitive behavioural therapy. I would encourage anyone who is struggling to go for either of them. I can’t explain, but I feel more in control of the situation than I think I would have done without them. Talking therapy does work.
Now I’m going through more problems, and looking back, well I can see some clues of how I can cope. It won’t be easy.
Sympathy cards appear through the door. I am thankful for them too. I wish people would knock on the door though, so I can say thank you. I think people are afraid of hurting me. I would say when you are in grief every hug counts.
Alone
Always by my side. Now I’m a widow. What a weird word. My fate was to be left behind. Yours was to leave first.
The cats keep looking for you. The house is quiet. No explosions of humour and excitement. Just full but empty. Echoing with your life. Your things are everywhere. Your books, your clothes, shoes, things. What do I do?
Lots of support, I’m organising and tidying. Getting advice. Looking for help. Trying to stay calm. Alert about my body, my health.
Time will pass, I will seek support, I must try and go on. Enough sadness for a whole lifetime has poured like molten metal into my heart, burning and breaking. But I must go on.
I can’t ask you
I turned to you to ask you a question. But you were not there. You cannot come back.
You were so knowledgeable, I could mention something and you knew the way my mind was working. You would ask me and be surprised by what I knew. We agreed that I had picked up a lot of knowledge from you. I recognise trains and tractors because of you. I could ask you about chemistry and physics. We would laugh and compete to answer TV quiz questions. Sometimes I would beat you, other times you would beat me. Most often it was a draw.
Thinking of you now I see a hole in the air where you were. A space unfilled by your spirit. You have gone ahead, like going to bed, and I don’t want to follow yet? My bonds are here on earth, close tied to friends and family. Don’t let me loose those bonds yet. I have obligations, how could I let the cats down? My family down. Please look over me and keep me safe in your heart as I hold you in mine.
Thoughts late at night.
Keeping warm
Find a warm spot and curl up. You can put your nose under your tail and snuggle down. Cats are lucky to have tails. Making them cuddly and comfy.
Apart from sleeping for hours a day? They are funny and playful. They are intelligent and charming. They are sometimes naughty too! Being a cat in a house can be a pleasure, but some people are cruel and unkind. Cats like all pets need treating with love care and attention. They will love you if you do. They are, awesome companions if you get the right ones.
Devon,
Do you have a favorite place you have visited? Where is it?
Dark cliffs that people sometimes dive off, sandy coves and dark rock pools. Big city Plymouth with it’s summery vibe, small shops in narrow streets in historic villages. Long drives overland to get to a beach half a mile away on the coast. There are lots of rivers and streams that need to be negotiated. The North coast and South coast are seperate by rolling green countryside and steep and craggy moorland. I want to go back. The old oak trees and cider are calling!
Lost
You went into the maze,
I don’t know where you went?
The dream got hazy
I turned round
And you were gone
I searched and searched
No trace of you
My soul is torn
In two.
Farewell
Somewhere between here and there.
You’ve gone.
Lost in the space between dreams.
Departed, like the ghost of Christmas present.
Full of fun and grumpy too.
Never a dull moment with you.
Life will be so lonely.
Do you know how many hearts you have touched?
If I could hold your hand one more time.
Kiss your lips, say goodbye.
My one and only man.
My green man…..
Five things?
Share five things you’re good at.
Cooking. I don’t follow recipes but I can cook reasonable food. I like experimenting with flavours and my favourite treat is trifle,
Driving, I’m pretty good at driving, although developing cataracts may change this. Aging is such an annoying thing. I have good road awareness but I think I might go for an automatic car if I get another one.
Art, if you follow ti’s blog you will be aware of the art work that I do. I mainly use acrylic on canvas, but I sometimes paint in oils and watercolours and then digital art.
Reading? Is reading a skill? I’ve got over a thousand books on bookcases around the house. Reading helps keep my mind working. I don’t like reading devices, I prefer real books.
Singing, I have been a member of different choirs for several years now. It helps me take my mind off my worries. I have a quite deep speaking voice and sing low (alto/bass), I love singing in harmony. Life is making what you can of your talents.
Cataracts
What is one thing you would change about yourself?
My eyes are going fuzzy round the edges… My central vision is OK. I’m allowed to drive but I’m wearing sunglasses at night when I drive because it limits the glare from other cars headlights. My optician is monitoring them as eventually I should be able to have an operation to remove them. It’s making fine details difficult to see and it’s getting very frustrating.
Mallaband-Brown 