The door is shut
The night is here
I wish my mind could rest.
Tired and tense
Jaw clenched.
Can’t wait till dawn,
To sleep tonight,
To relax and chill
What I would give
For no thrill.
No disturbed thoughts,
No worries.
Just
Sleep…
Tag: Tired
Bee on a chair.
A resting bee
happy to have a seat
luckily I didn’t sit
on it!
Beautiful bee then flew off
onto a bush
of flowers to sip
nectar and dew
and pollen too…
Russian vine
I don’t have a photo, but this afternoon we removed what feels like miles of Russian vine from our hedge. I think it’s also called mile a minute. It’s also growing at the back of our garden, and bits of it have grown up the telephone wires and even into our shed!
It was hot outside, so we worked in the late afternoon as it started to cool down. The Russian vine is wraping itself round a couple of leylandii, up an old willow tree, into our walnut tree, and around the Holly tree. It’s tough stuff. We should dig out the roots, but it’s too entangled. So we are cutting through the largest vines, then you pull at it, and strands of vine twenty foot long come out of the hedge. Each vine splits into branching thinner pieces. The leaves are green and heart shaped. It looks like a nice plant when you get it. With small white bunches of flowers in the summer. The bees like it, but our privet hedge flowers and that is more pleasant than the vine.
Unless you have a massive garden don’t grow it!
People
The door stands in the way. But I can hear people outside, running along the pavement, downhill, then up. A couple of car doors slam. An engine starts, quietly. I want to look out, but the door is firmly locked. It’s late. I could look out of the window, but that means parting the curtains, giving the game away.
A little later…. All is calm again, the mad thunder of feet has receded, I heard my bin lid thud down, but I’m not going to look. Possibly an old beer can? It’s happened before.
I don’t really like living with my front door on the pavement. I wish we had a front garden. There is a garden at the side of our house,iit’s ours, full of trees and bushes. Local people dump beer cans and fag packets in our hedge. Life, and people, have been quieter lately. But if I was put on a desert island I would be OK.
I spoke too soon, cars (with people in) crashing down their gears, rushing to get up the hill. Sometimes they seem to race each other.
If, and when the lockdown ends, I will have to get used to people again.
Headache
Jarring and jazzing,
my eyes ache and spark,
my neck aches and creaks.
Sore eyes,
tight band round my head,
travelling down to my shoulders.
Sleep won’t come easy,
the stress holds me tight,
I need to rest, I need sleep.
Early to bed, early to rise,
in the middle of the night,
then unable to rest,
Headache.
On my shoulders
The weight of the world,
making me creak,
making me break,
making me crumble and quake.
Pushing me down,
pushing me under,
finding a crack,
break me asunder.
Restricted and tight,
no room for movement,
shoulders so stiff,
I want to surrender.
Sleep is my safety,
sleep is my friend,
but like a lost child,
I cannot find peace.
Dreams do not come,
only a blackness,
to tired to think,
curled on my mattress.
One day I’ll wake,
free from this tension,
or I’ll be gone,
broken,
departed.
Pinned down by my cat..
As you can see I love cats! This is my Tom cat who fell asleep on my chest. Its good that he can be relaxed enough to sleep on me but I couldn’t move until he decided to get off! I snuck a photo of him. He is such a sweet and friendly cat. The painting is one I did several years ago (more than 30). It has been up on the wall for years.
X
Day 17, artists materials, quick sketch.
I’ve run out of steam a bit, so today’s sketch (day 17), is of the artists materials I’m using. Nibb bright coloured permanent markers.
I’ve drawn them with coloured pencils behind them and on my sketchbook. I could have added more of a background but it’s hard sometimes to be inspired. I might go out in the garden later and try and come up with something more interesting.
My energy levels are really down (I feel like my battery is flat) went to bed early last night and slept in. I still feel shattered. Ah well its all part of life.
X
I ache
The world is growing fast
But I ache
More things to do,
I ache..
Plants to tend and pot up.
I hurt.
Too much tending,
Too much weeding,
Too much trimming and pruning.
Using sinews I forgot I had.
Back aches,
Shoulder aches.
Hands hurt.
Don’t overdo things?
After years of neglect
My garden is being manicured,
And I ache.
Wire fairy kit
Trying to make a wire fairy I got before Christmas. It was from a stall at the monthly Saturday craft Market at Wedgewood pottery, Barlaston, near Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire.
My arms are aching from twisting wire. I’m currently trying to get the hair done and then later I’ve got it try and make wings. I lost track of time and missed joining in choir practice. After an afternoon of pulling up weeds and brambles, and trying to tackle two lots of russian vine that has taken over a corner of the garde, I am whacked. Now I’m off to cook some food. Might try and finish this later tonight…..
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Mallaband-Brown 