Health issues

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

Imagine being ill already and finding out something else is wrong with you (it’s only taken two years). I’m also waiting for some results about another illness. I hope I will be OK but it’s certainly a challenge.

But I live in a country where health care is funded and mostly free if you can get an appointment. If I can get the medication I need I hope I will be alright. I just hope the health service does not deteriorate further.

Things may change. Politics may change, hopefully for the better and mean that care and health may once more become important. I certainly hope so.

Too much has gone to the richest in society. We were told ‘trickle down’ would happen so the poorest would get a few crumbs of concellation. Also that ‘levelling up’ would help, where towns and cities have to bid for dwindling resources. I guess my health depends on my nation….

Diagnosis

I’m not saying what I’ve got, but I’ve been waiting for a follow up appointment for two years. So this isn’t a recent thing.

I was told last time that I didn’t have something, now I’m told I have. Basically my previous symptoms, we’re not bad enough for a decision and delays in appointments have meant it’s taken two years for a proper diagnosis. To be honest I felt relief because I can take tablets for it. Hopefully that will alleviate my symptoms.

Now I’m waiting for some other test results about something else. I feel like I’m playing illness top trumps! (a card game).

2018 drawing

Smallest house in Great Britain, in Wales, is it in Caernarfon? (I’ve just been told its actually in Conway) If I remember it’s one up one down. If you spread your arms out it’s only just a bit wider than them (it’s smaller on the inside). I remember there was a woman called Carole dressed in Welsh traditional costume standing outside. We went in (squeezed in) and were amazed at how small it is.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some flats in big cities are actually smaller than this, although I don’t remember seeing a bathroom in it. It’s on the seafront between the castle and a bigger building than it if I remember correctly. It might be worth Googling it if you are interested. I didn’t realise how long ago it was that we visited it, hence the hazy memories.

Floating

I used to do a lot of collages like this. I just looked back and saw this. Blue sky and wispy clouds with an old building suspended in the sky. I think I might try and do a few more if the rain ever stops! Grey skies and lack of sunshine makes me a dull woman. I need to try and do more art and experiment more. I don’t want to come to a stop. I hope when the sunlight comes back I feel more bright myself.

Young at heart

Hubby on a swing we found, at the edge of a field a couple of years ago on a country walk. Soon he was flying up to the sky! Luckily the rope didn’t give way.

When covid was going on we actually went walking more, getting away from the city and people, then when lock down ended we continued but with more friends. This was one of those occasions.

Later I stopped walking as much after badly pulling a muscle, but we were trying to get back into walking when I trapped my leg in the car door and that resulted in a wound that took months to heal. We were just getting back into walking when my hubbys health deteriorated and he passed away. The universe seems against me!

I think I need company to get back out again. I don’t like walking on my own, easier to hide.

Singing for health

I went to choir this morning. It’s one for lung health but I go because my friend goes and more and more for my mental health too.

I’ve been through a lot of crisises lately and I feel like I’m in the middle of a crescendo of music at the moment, will the wall of sound collapse and calm down, or turn into a tsunami of torment? Awaiting test results to find out.

I finally got a long awaited hospital appointment through, I’m hoping something will be sorted out, but I’m nervous of the outcome.

Meantime? I will keep singing at choirs, trying  to keep my spirits and endorphins up. I will try and keep calm in the middle of a whirling cacophony of worry!

Morning cat

Snoozing cat having a lie in after a night on the tiles? He snores, he dreams, paws twitching. He greets me with a little purr. I think I have got three familiars (I have two other cats). They all have different traits but they are all very loving.

I don’t name them on here because of online security. I could call them all by pseudonym, but I don’t think it matters. They are big, medium and small!

This is big (used to be ‘outside’ cat), he sometimes pushes the cat flap door loose because he has got quite fat. He has a barrel shaped belly and seems quite content. When we first met him as an abandoned cat he was already an adult, I guess he’s over 13 years old now. Middle aged and happy.

Patriotic?

Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

I think I am patriotic, but not in a strong way. I disagree with acting in a xenophobic way. I think arguing that one race should rule one country isn’t right. I believe there is good and bad in all people’s and countries. Also there should be fairness to all. Attacking people because they are different is not a good thing to do.

Think about it, humans draw borders on maps, lines in the sand, rivers that seperate one place from another. But when you look at where humans came from in Africa, and how they spread out across the Earth, there was always movement. People gradually changed depending on the climate and amount of sunlight. In hotter countries skin colour was darker to protect skin. In Northern climbs lighter because of the lack of sun. I know it doesn’t completely fit that pattern, but I guess through evolution other changes occurred.

Once there is a slight difference in appearance or language it’s easy to get into an ‘us or them’ situation. We have probably always warred but I think its time the human race grew up. Learnt to be tolerant and fought for fairness not patriotic excuses such as invading neighbouring countries. Race, religion, money, fear can all cause problems, but sometimes strong patriotism can make it much worse.

First haircut since lock down!

My friend came round and gave my hair a trim today (another friend has also offered).

I was sitting in my dressing gown keeping warm, when a friend rang up. Do you want a haircut? I thought about it. Yes why not. She arrived twenty minutes later with scissors and comb. Ten minutes later and I felt lighter and neater. No fuss with washing and drying, no conditioner. I’d washed my hair already. I tried cutting my fringe (why do Americans call a fringe  bangs?) but I couldn’t really see it properly so she finished it off.

Midway through the cut another friend rang, so I rang her back and chatted about this and that. All the company tired me out, but I’m glad they got in touch. Now I’m surrounded by hungry cats. A reason to go shopping in a bit. Life, you can’t always hide.

Everything!

Do you need a break? From what?

For those that follow my blog you will know I’ve been going through a couple of bad years. I really want things to stop going wrong. I feel like the universe is jumping up and down on my head. I’d like a break. That’s just a few days where I can relax and recover.

Holidays, that’s a word I don’t think I will hear in the future. I have ‘leisure time’ but that’s just sitting being bored because I don’t have anything I can do or want to do. I’ve spent years looking after someone and I’d love to have that responsibility back. The silence is deep sometimes. Thinking is not a ‘break’. We would talk and chat, breaking that silence with serious thoughts or silly humour. I could always make him laugh.. There is no laughter now.