New paintings and regular art updates.
Life falls like leaves
A tree denuded
War and Terror
Pace the lands
Look left or right
East or West
People suffer.
There is no safety
Bombs and Mines.
The World needs Peace
Where a shepherds flock
Can be led beside still waters.
Transforming hate into love.
Share what you know about the year you were born.
The year I was born was a long time ago. I was a baby at the time so I don’t remember much about it. I guess I could look things up on line, because I don’t really have anyone I can ask anymore.
But why do I want to tell you? I’m reticent to share recollections that might be data mined by anyone who happened to read this blog. I try and avoid people phishing my information. And aren’t we all supposed to be cautious about sharing info anyway. Next I will be sharing pet names or favourite foods.
I could tell you the schools I went to, where I was born, which cities I have visited. Some of that is already available on the net when I was younger and more foolish (last week). I can think of lots of information I will share, but not birthdays, or signs of the zodiac or other personal information. Life is short, and I am cautious.
Are you a good judge of character?
How does your brain work? How do you judge a character? If the person is honest it’s quite simple, but if there is dishonesty it’s far more difficult. People can be fooled by kind words. You have to judge people by their actions.
Being suspicious is not a bad character trait, particularly if you are vulnerable. Con merchants can be charming and persuasive, and can take advantage with their scams.
If someone befriends me I am generally cautious, it takes me a while before I get to a point where I can accept them. Once I am I usually hold onto that friendship. I have only ever ended friendships with a few people, and that was because their behaviour was at odds to what I believed they were like. I hated ending the friendship but I’m glad I did.
I am cautious with social media, there is to much flattery and charm out there, and if someone offers me a free lunch…? I think long and hard and then usually won’t accept it.
Low mood
Slowly rising
Clouds lifting
Wind dropping
Rain abates
Gales blow out
Stopping
Leaves fallen
Cannot be replaced
But buds grow
Time moves
Green shoots
Spring forth.
Grateful
Thankful
Healing…
I’m a little perplexed. I’ve been reading a, Brother Cadviael book over the past few nights, to take my mind off things. They are a series of mediaeval murder mysteries that I like. So when I came to bed I thought it would be waiting for me, but it isn’t. I was hot and bothered last night, so it might have fallen on the floor by the bed, but I can’t see it. I also went into the other room this morning but it’s not there either.
Things go missing sometimes, and generally that’s not a problem. I sometimes think there are borrowers in the house ( like the children’s book, with characters called Arrietty and Pod?). But at the moment I just want my book back. It’s out of place, out of possession and position. It’s bugging me. So I’m writing this as another distraction. Mysterious and also frustrating. I guess I will have to give up and go to sleep….
What’s the matter now? Became a response when my hubby couldn’t hear me properly. He was always having problems with his hearing aids. They made his ears sore. Or if he got his hair trapped they would whistle.
What’s the matter now? Was almost a catchphrase. I dreaded it, it meant he was irritated by me, or something was getting on his nerves.
Decades of living with someone, and you don’t know what will happen. Can you know someone well enough to be able to solve all their problems? Not in a normal life. It’s not all romance, it’s trying to give and take, accept difficulties. Putting doubts out of your mind. The marriage service has it right. The balance between sickness and health. Riches and poverty. Somehow you rub along.
I will be guilty for a long time for feeling I should have done more. To make everything OK? Not a chance, but I can wish. For now I will try and remember the ‘what’s the matter now?’ moments and try to accept that was part of our life too. If there is something after life I hope he forgives me. I don’t know what else to ask for of him. Processing grief is horrible but it has to be done.
Digital drawing from three years ago.
Happy Christmas to you all.
I’ll try not to feel sad in the festive season.
Life must go on. I guess.
Sending virtual hugs out to anyone that needs them. I will think my way out of this. X
Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.
It says it all “# be kind”.
Why not? Why be horrible, unkind, cruel? To make life better for yourself by harming others? Too many dictators and politicians seem to think this way. Often they say populist things to the public, while making decisions that often go against their rhetoric. Looking to increase their power. Then again a lot CEOs pay themselves massive amounts above the lowest paid workers. 80 men earn more put together than half the world’s population, that’s about 4,000,000,000 (4 billion) people!
Kindness can be financial, or verbal, it might just be a gentle hug. It might be not enforcing unfair rules and laws that would be detrimental to different races, faiths, or sexualities. Often conflict is about us and them. Being unkind or treating people as ‘other’ or not ‘one of us’ is not what I support.
Basically it simply comes down to thinking about people, thinking what they need, and trying to help if you can, even if it’s only a few kind words. Be considerate, be kind.
Paperwork
Lots of paperwork
Things to do,
Things to sign
People to inform
Life isn’t just simple
What to cancel
What to keep
Bereavement
You can keep it!
If only? What if? I’m feeling so guilty. Why didn’t I spot there was a problem earlier? All those months of things that were not quite right, we should have gone to the doctors. I should have insisted. Have I neglected you? When I argued with you to go it was only towards the end? Should I blame myself, I can’t blame you.
Was it bad communication? Fear? Not wanting to see what might be wrong? I don’t know, I just feel bad. I need a little rant to try and clear my head. I can’t stop time, or make it go back, I wish I could, what twists or turns would I reverse to have you back? No pact with a deity can change things now. Forever.
Mallaband-Brown