New paintings and regular art updates.
Three months on and I’m still doing exercises set by the physiotherapists a while ago. I’m still in pain, but it’s getting a bit better. I am trying to stretch my arm up above my head. And I also have to try the build up my shoulder muscles. Frozen, or in my case, a freezing shoulder is not very nice. I hope it’s going to get better over the next few months. X
A few weeks ago I was happier,
painting splodges for a college project,
letting colour flow
and wrap itself into my mind
warping patterns
playing with inking rollers
freedom.
Then I was sick
nothing serious,
not covid
not anything really
just pain
continuing.
I have an appointment tomorrow
to check my pain
sort it out
Make it go away…
please.
then I shall sleep,
not wake hourly
gripped by a twisted cramp.
please.
My pain is explained! I have a freezing shoulder. Not frozen yet, but on the way. There may be ligament damage and the bursa in the joint may be swollen. I’ve got to talk to the pharmacist about antiinflammatories. It explains why I can’t lift my arm up, sideways or backwards. It explains why I can’t sleep. Now to start doing exercises to prevent it getting worse. Phew….
My shoulder has decided to play up, I’m in a lot of pain, I’m trying to get a doctors appointment but in the meantime I’ve got a lavender scented wheat bag that you microwave and then put on the affecting ed area. It smells nice but I’m not sure it’s actually helping. Maybe I need embrocation! The worst thing is how tired I feel. That’s why I’ve not been here today….
It’s been about six weeks now since I think I hurt my shoulder. The doctors agreed I needed physios they sent me a letter to book an appointment. But there are no appointments. I’m still in pain and no further forward. I wonder if things will ever get back to normal (shoulder and life). I think it’s partly to do with tension. I haven’t got depressed but I seem to always be hunching my shoulders up. I might try and get to yoga again if it starts up again.
When I think about it though I can manage, I have been managing. What about all the people who never get treatment. Who live in poverty in rich and poor countries where health treatment is based on expensive insurance that doesn’t cover existing health issues. I know how lucky I am.
Ow, washing my hands all the time, washing up, cleaning, my hand, particularly my right one is getting very sore. I use the mildest of detergents, but something in them makes my skin bubble up and peel.
I try using hand cream but it doesn’t help much. I wonder what I can do. Find something with aloe Vera? Or coconut milk? I need something. I can’t use steroid cream. Sorry to moan!
This argument has rumbled on all day.
Like a storm gathering.
Like lightning about to strike.
No peace, just discord.
The tension mounts.
Even the cats are on edge.
Not a fight,
A disagreeable disagreement.
Sound and fury,
Irritation, annoyance.
Despair.
Repair?
I wake on a cliff edge.
Teetering, tottering..
Tension racks my shoulders
Stiff, creaking joints.
Sleep does not touch the tightness.
I feel like bones will break.
Mentally I’m OK,
Physically I’m OK
But my mind is tying my body in knots.
Spine fused with tension.
Like a gathering storm.
Waves waiting to break,
Teeth ground to sand.
Life fights.
Thunder clashes overhead.
Will I fall?
Will I stand.
Still.
You don’t need to see my teeth, just know I grind them at night and something has caused me to have toothache. Argh! It’s worse now because of this cold, my throat is sore and it’s hard to put up with the extra pain from my tooth. I will try and get in the dentists tomorrow. Sucking madly on anaesthetic sore throat lozenges and have taken pain killers. I’m also using toothpaste for sensitive teeth BUT ARGH, I shall try and sleep…..
One of the worst things I see on social media like Facebook is photos of proud people posing with dead animals they have shot. I always feel sick when I see them. Their big grins as they stick their boot on the fallen prey or hold up their trophy. I’ve seen dead lions, tigers, Elephants, giraffes, zebras…. But other animals too
Mainly in Africa, but animals hunted in other arts of the world including America. What gets me is that this is in addition to poachers that kill for tusks and hides and horns. These people, men and women seem to need to prove how macho they are, how clever and Great. When in fact they are just proving themselves to be cruel and stupid, and the thing is the more they kill, the less animals there are left in the wild. So I share the pictures, show their evil faces to the world. But if these rich, privileged people would stop to think, take cameras instead of guns. Well we wouldn’t be in this mess would we?
Mallaband-Brown