New paintings and regular art updates.
I did this self portrait. I don’t do many and haven’t done one recently. Maybe I should. At this time I had the front bedroom as a studio, until we got too much stuff and I moved my painting stuff out. My tee shirt was a recycling one but I haven’t seen it for years. I’m not sure what I think about this, but it’s another Facebook memory. It’s a bit blurred. I still have the original upstairs, will have to find it out.. Almost twenty years later.
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I have no space here. Each time I try and post a new photo I get the message that I don’t have enough space. 99 or 100% of memory full..
I will update my WordPress account although I don’t know if I can really afford it. I suppose I just got too involved in this, seeing my stats going up week by week. Feeling the excitement that people might like what I do.
So I’m using an old picture I drew instead of something new tonight. Eeking out my space. I have things I want to say but I don’t have space, photos I want to post, words to speak. Life to live. Maybe I can do more soon.
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Yes, I’ve just deleted a few tens of posts so that I can carry on posting here (my memory was full) hopefully the ones I’ve removed were not too interesting, they hadn’t got many likes. I will continue to remove a few more and decide whether to upgrade soon.
Don’t you know I love you?
Don’t you know I care about you?
It’s bleak out here
It’s cold and grey.
My heart is lost, broken, destroyed.
It hurts that you don’t care,
It hurts that you’ve gone away,
You are here in body but not in spirit,
You changed before my eyes
Your memory has glazed over
Milky white, foggy, out of focus
I can’t break in, I can’t get close
I still love you
Won’t you remember to love me too?
Did I once have a rocking horse ?
How fast did it go,
Over hills, over fields,
Up mountain paths,
Down into dales and vales.
If I had a rocking horse
Where did it live?
In stables or a farm yard
Or the back bedroom in our house.
What colour was that rocking horse
Was it a bay?
A white maned charger
A gentle, dappled grey?
I once had a rocking horse,
So long ago
I don’t remember anything-
Where did it go?
I don’t remember anything after Saturday afternoon?
Who are you?
Where am I?
So many questions, I remember going to the park for a walk, I can see in my minds eye the youth on a motorbike, then I forget…. Its gone.
Who are you? A nurse? Who are they? My parents…..?
What did I do to get here?
Hello, yes I feel OK, just taking my pulse? My blood pressure….
Yes so you are my doctor?
There was a boy on a motorbike, I can see him in my minds eye. Where was that?
I need to sleep. Dreaming, remembering, she sees the park, the ducks running for the bread she was feeding them. The motorbike comes through the park gate, along the path, speeding, roaring. Breaks and skids to avoid the ducks and hits her hard….
Waking, the memory fades, she sees time reverse, only now she’s further down the path. The ducks are still on the lake. The sun is shining on her face. Heat. Her face is hot…..
Who am I?
Why am I here? I remembered, but then I forgot.
I was just reading through my Facebook page and came across this:
Morning world. this is the last time I get my partner up for work early on Sunday as his firm have decided from next week to make it a noon shift (Too many people not turning in after a night on the town?) anyway I watched the sky lighten in the East over the last half hour, first the sky between the clouds turned deep blue then lightened, the cloud tops yellowing then the dark grey of the clouds gradually became a mid grey shade. I watched to see if the street lights would go out but most are still on, just looking dimmer against the brightening sky. Then I remembered the world is turning not the sun rising…. I imagine the movement, thousands of miles an hour as this house and town and city, with me standing looking out of the window at the top of the stairs all moves rapidly and the suns light creeps over the horizon, with the bright morning stars ( if I could see past the houses and shops and clouds) heralding the first bright glimpse of the sun…..
Yesterday I was chatting with an artist from Spode. He had done a lovely painting of trees on the macclesfield canal, with light streaming through the leaves. I didn’t take a photo but it looked a bit like this drawing. With blocks of pale green and yellow shining through the vegetation. I can only give a slight idea of what it looked like with this technique. The artist had used a Palette knife to create depth and slanted shadows .
I realise I can’t get an accurate representation. But it gives you an idea of how it looks.
I’ve found this new phone so light and easy to use in comparison with my tablet that I’ve been using it for all sorts of things on the Internet. Unfortunately that means I’ve filled the sd card up so it’s saving stuff to the internal memory. Which is getting very full too. I guess all my images are clogging it up.
I think I will have to revert back to using the tablet which also slows down as I keep putting images on it. You would think there would be more memory, so all my stuff would be OK but I’m always messing about with things, for instance duplicating photos to make the image above.
I don’t know whether saving things to the cloud might be an idea? Or getting a little external USB hard drive if that’s even possible?
What makes the world go round? How do we experience time? What is a premonition?
Some people pretend to prognosticate, be aware of portentous events before they happen. Other people do not give these ideas credence, or use logic to work out what is actually happening.
On a few occassions something will happen that I thought of the day, hour or minute before. For instance yesterday I remembered hearing a radio play with a particular character in several months ago. Today another play with the same character was on the radio….it made me quite confused. Could it be I had had a premonition? When I look back on my life I can remember other instances when I knew something was going to happen. Almost as if Time was playing in reverse, so I knew because it had already happened?
Then the sceptic in me woke up. Perhaps I had heard a trailer for the play on the radio yesterday but only on a subconscious level? Maybe other premonitions were coincidences. Although I can’t explain when I dreamt that I would meet some friends on a cycle ride and have to take shelter from a storm in a bus shelter? That actually did happen!
Weird, maybe something to do with quantum entanglement. But thats another story. This thing has never allowed me to predict lottery numbers or winners of horse races. Although I do win more than my fair share of raffle prizes!
Mallaband-Brown