New paintings and regular art updates.
Westport lake. A splendid place to visit is one of our local reservoirs. It helps supply the Trent and Mersey canal. In winter when the trees and bushes are skeletal the warm glow of a sunset can make it seem anything but cold. Pleasant memory of a walk with my hubby.
All my cats have black patches on their noses. Apparently the black in cats is actually a type of tabby (ginger) and sometimes in bright sunlight you can even see stripes where part of the coat has faded. Most of the cats I have had have been black and white, none of them were pedigree and a lot of them were cool characters. One particular cat was very intelligent. She came when I whistled or called, but would also jump across gaps when I called her and liked to ride on my shoulder. She was a stray when we got her and lived to a good age of around 19.
Want to get a pet with an independent personality? Think of adopting a rescue cat!
Sleeping is a issue yet again. I’m either too cold or too hot. Lost without my hubby who passed away three weeks ago. I really have a heavy heart. I just spent the last hour or so remembering things we did in the past. Going for bike or tandem rides when we were younger. The feeling of almost flying along, racing each other down hills (I was always more cautious). How he took in a stray cat a few years ago that had come limping into our garden, it turned out to have been abandoned by it’s owner. That cat is now sleeping on hubbys bodywarmer. I think it misses him as much as I do. It’s almost 5am. Going to make a cocoa.
Life falls like leaves
A tree denuded
War and Terror
Pace the lands
Look left or right
East or West
People suffer.
There is no safety
Bombs and Mines.
The World needs Peace
Where a shepherds flock
Can be led beside still waters.
Transforming hate into love.
I haven’t sent Christmas cards this year. Circumstances have been really bad and I haven’t given it much thought. This was on my Facebook memories today. So sending love and hugs. X
By my side
Part of me
Has ripped away
Torn my heart
In half
Lub dub, Lub dub
It’s still pumping
Just.
What’s the matter now? Became a response when my hubby couldn’t hear me properly. He was always having problems with his hearing aids. They made his ears sore. Or if he got his hair trapped they would whistle.
What’s the matter now? Was almost a catchphrase. I dreaded it, it meant he was irritated by me, or something was getting on his nerves.
Decades of living with someone, and you don’t know what will happen. Can you know someone well enough to be able to solve all their problems? Not in a normal life. It’s not all romance, it’s trying to give and take, accept difficulties. Putting doubts out of your mind. The marriage service has it right. The balance between sickness and health. Riches and poverty. Somehow you rub along.
I will be guilty for a long time for feeling I should have done more. To make everything OK? Not a chance, but I can wish. For now I will try and remember the ‘what’s the matter now?’ moments and try to accept that was part of our life too. If there is something after life I hope he forgives me. I don’t know what else to ask for of him. Processing grief is horrible but it has to be done.
Digital drawing from three years ago.
Happy Christmas to you all.
I’ll try not to feel sad in the festive season.
Life must go on. I guess.
Sending virtual hugs out to anyone that needs them. I will think my way out of this. X
They give you flowers
To salve your loss
To show they care.
I feel so grateful
To be remembered
But the need of a vase
Can be a problem.
I found one at last.
Flowers setted
Rejoyce in their beauty
I just woke up from a dream. I was in the street and I heard footsteps clattering up behind me. I turned and it was my hubby. Hair blowing behind him, his jacket flapping. He said a couple of words, something like ‘I’m here’? But then I woke up.
It’s not much of a story, but it was comforting. The thought that he is around somewhere, even if its just in my imagination made me feel better.
Mallaband-Brown