Dorothy Clive garden today

A few miles from Stoke on Trent in the Staffordshire countryside is the Dorothy Clive garden. We went there today because I knew the rhododendrons would be in flower and also I wanted to see if I could drive that far (my arm is still shaking and very sore and it’s hard to drive). Luckily I was OK and it was a gorgeous day and a lovely place to visit. You walk up from the car park at the bottom, past the pool, up a steepish slope covered in trees and flowerbeds. There is a cafe at the top and a dry garden and quarry garden at the top (where the majority of the rhododendrons are). There is also a stag sculpture and a waterfall. From the top of the garden you can see three counties, Staffordshire, Cheshire and Shropshire. Worth a day out….

Retired

How do you balance work and home life?

Balance, what’s that?

Retired: bored or busy?

Sometimes life sucks

Other times it’s lovely.

Time passes quickly

Flowers grow, and fade

Trees shed leaves

And bud.

Stay up late

Lose the daylight

A twylight time?

Prevaricate and regret…

Loss of what’s left…

I should work more

But my mind is tied

In gossamer threads

Of nothing…

Frustrated by

My lack of

Vision and

Determination

To do more…

11 years ago

About 11 years ago I drew this self portrait. I was with a group of other people who went to a pencil drawing workshop. What strikes me the most about this is how chubby I was, it reminds me how I’ve changed.

The sketch was done using a small makeup mirror and it was impossible to see my whole face at once, but I did my best. In one section of the drawing I almost rubbed through the paper trying to remove some of the graphite. That’s why there is a dark smudge on one of the cheeks.

We were told the drawings would be used for the London Road festival in Stoke. Imagine my surprise when I was driving home one day and this was attached as a 6ft square banner on the front of an empty shop. I now have it at my studio at spode.

Parking

I just realised my parking pass is due to expire and I’ve only just realised it. In the past out council used to send out a reminder. No more. They have closed the building where you could apply for them in person. Now the choice is either via email, or by post.

The postal service only has a 74% next day delivery rate, and there is no assurance that it will arrive in time.

My email is not working yet. I’m booked to get it done on Monday (long boring story, the repair man has been ill). But not everyone has email addresses. Not everyone with a car is online.

So I rang up for the address to send my information to. It’s a PO box, meaning there is no physical place for me to hand deliver my documents to. If it goes to a PO box, then the council courier service needs to sort the mail and deliver it, meaning there is another time delay added into the mix!

Better get my email sorted out!

A top I bought ten or twelve years ago?

What’s the oldest things you’re wearing today?

It’s nylon and cotton. A maroon and white striped top. It has a couple of pockets. I bought it for work, I now wear it as something comfortable around the house.

Why not? I’ve lost weight, but it’s one of those baggy tops that doesn’t look bad even now. My thoughts are that I’m not bothered about fashion. If it fits and it looks OK I’m not bothered if its old. I don’t understand why people buy clothes every few months or weeks. I know people can get addicted to shopping. But in a time of austerity, why spend on clothes that might fall apart after a few washes. It’s also harmful to the environment to waste resources on clothes. If it covers you and keeps you warm? Then it’s OK.

I probably have older clothes, but I don’t remember when I bought them. They get washed on low temperatures, then folded and put away till I want them. Some are in a dusty cupboard, I might have some eighties classics!

Little bird drawing

Two versions, one digital drawings. When you have done something don’t be afraid to play with filters. It may or may not pay off, but you don’t know if you don’t try.

I need to get my paints out and do some real painting instead of doodling here. It’s OK, but a screen isn’t ideal for artwork. It gives me pleasure to do things, keeps my hand in, but it’s not much more than finger painting? Although looking at David Hockneys digital work it can be so much more. Just keep learning and practicing…

Putting up walls

It dawned on me this morning, the walls around me have grown… I’ve felt hemmed in by the pandemic, and tied down by ropes attached to concrete blocks. Not physically but mentally, emotionally, sadly.

Why? It stems from fear of what might happen. There is a word ‘catastrophise’ that I’ve heard recently. Maybe that’s what I’m doing. Plus hubbys situation bothers me, I feel very protective. Then again, as I age, bits of me don’t work properly. I tried to do something about it, but the authorities don’t seem to understand. It’s made me despondent to some extent. My prevarication is getting to me.

Sorry to lay all of this at your doors, I think by speaking out it allows me to order my thoughts. Those walls need to come down, and I need to let some light in, I need to be less of a scardey cat… But it’s not easy..

Potting bench

“We should be sitting on this!”

“But I need a table to pot on”

“Yes, but you have one”

“But it’s got my trains on”

“Well can you move them?”

“No, I’m making a layout, I got some ‘n’ gauge stock” “I want to build it up”.

Sigh, “OK but the plants can go in the garden, the bench needs varnish or something to protect it”.

I didn’t mention to hubby that the last bench was treated in the same way, the wood rotted and the bench collapsed. I bought new wooden slats, but ‘someone’ (hubby), nailed them on to something else….