Tag: Funny

Anecdote on wiper blades

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My windscreen wiper motor broke down on the way back from Birmingham once, so we titd a string to one wiper, put it through the driver and passenger windows and tied it to the other wiper, We got cold and wet but at least I could see what was going on. Hubby pulled the string side to side while I drove! We got some peculiar looks on the way home! Especially when we stopped at traffic lights… People were laughing at us!

I remembered this after reading about the woman from America who invented windscreen wipers in the 1890s after seeing a tram driver struggling to see the road through his window in a snowstorm in New York.

A hero’s name?

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I think we mainly assume that a hero will be called Prince Caspian or something similar. Being of noble blood, and handsome. Fairytale books and films lead us to this definition. Only stories like Beauty and the Beast where at the end the Beast turns into a handsome Prince slightly subverts this.

But what happens if the hero has an ordinary or odd name? Maybe Euphonio Grunt-Ffungus? His name being a long lost memory from generations ago of the families profession of truffle hunting!

What heroical task would Euphonio complete? Would he rescue a cat from on top of a giraffe? Fight off a venomous kangaroo? Hide chocolate from a dragon? Kill a giant spider that’s threatening to engulf the palace?

I think this kind of hero would be in a comic fantasy, not a serious story. But we cannot chose our names, let alone our ancestors.

Cats

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Dogs or cats?

Cats are very loving, except when they give you the cold shoulder! They are aloof but also demanding. They can be funny.

One advantage, you don’t have to take them for a walk, just install a catflap!

They can be cheeky, friendly, mad, crazy, and run about so fast they are like miniature cheetahs!

They like company, and will try and get your attention when you least expect it. Walking over your keyboard and flopping down just  as you get to that important clause in the contract you were writing.

By the way I still like dogs, but I’ve grown up with cats and I love them.

Who’s coming to dinner?

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If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

I’d like to invite Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Carl Sagan and Richard Feynman.

I don’t know if I would be able to understand any conversation between them. But I have noticed that the three men seemed to have funny senses of humour. The two I know most about were Feynman (one of his books is Surely you’re joking Mr Feynman) and Sagan (who wrote Cosmos and Contact among other books).

All of them were interesting people and I hope they would take pity on my lack of knowledge of Physics and the other sciences. Maybe it would be a difficult meal to host. I would research the food they liked and try and replicate it, but I would have to be careful not to cause them stomach problems!

Anyway it’s never going to happen. Fun imagining the guest list though.

Esther’s limerick challenge. Luck

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Every week Esther Chilton posts a limerick challenge. This week’s Monday limerick word was “luck”.

Sometimes these are easy, other times hard. This week’s wasn’t bad.

Basically a limerick has two rhyming lines of a longish length, then two shorter ones that rhyme using a different pattern and then finally the last line is longer and goes back to the first type of rhyme. Have a go yourself on Esthers page?

My limerick is :

Finally I have had some good luck,

I found lots of gold in a truck,

it was hidden away,

in an old parking bay,

at the home of the Pirate called “Hook”!

April fools day

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The Peak Wildlife Park posted a prank on Facebook today. It reported that some of their Humbolt Penguins had taken flight today and if anyone saw one or found them in their garden they should report it to the park (to check their migratory habits?).

Of course Penguins don’t fly, (and they don’t migrate either as far as I know, but I added that bit), so it was obviously an April Fools joke, but it’s nice and gentle, not rude or unkind. I remember an old one on TV when they reported that the spaghetti trees were being harvested and another one on a children’s TV programme about dehydrated water!

I haven’t seen many jokes today but I liked one about flat pack Easter eggs from IKEA, (chocolate bars), may your April Fools day be fun!

Peak Wildlife Park is at Winkhill, Leek ST13 7QR, UK. Details can be found on Google.

Two soups

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What makes you laugh?

Have you ever seen the “two soups” sketch on the “Victoria Wood as seen on TV” sketch show?

It stars Julia Walters as an elderly waitress.

Two diners are seated at the front of the set, chatting and choosing from a menu. The waitress comes out of swing doors at the back of the set, apparently the kitchen. She is white haired and elderly, she slowly stumbles towards the diners. She takes their order and licks a pencil and proceeds to write it down. I can’t remember all the dialogue but it is funny. The decision is they will have “two soups”.

A bit more conversation happens while the waitress totters off to the kitchen, she is very wobbly with age.

After a wait she comes out of the kitchen carrying two bowls of soup, one in each hand. They are held loosely and because they are sloping the soup is gradually pouring out of them. She approaches the table and the bowls are clearly empty. She plonks the dishes down on the table. “two soups! ” she proudly announces.

It’s hards to explain but it’s so funny!