Theft

My hubby has had about 35 train engines stolen out of our sheds in the garden, 30 carriages, various sizes, n gauge, 00 gauge, tt gauge. And a g gauge train. Plus a mountain bike (black) shopper bike (white) and a Raleigh titanium racing bike and a spade which we think they’ve used to get into the sheds?

I rang the police and they told me to post to social media. I put this on local pages with a bit more information, but I wonder if it will actually help.

Meanwhile in other news I’ve got to keep all three cats in tonight as one is having an operation in the morning. Instead of using the litter trays he just peed in a random box which leaked into the floor so I had to clean that up. I don’t have any airfreshner. Help! Then he threw up a big furball, ugh. Cleaned that up. He’s run upstairs and then hubby came down for a cup of tea.

The world is destroying itself in many places so I shouldn’t grumble. But I am!

Lemon tree

We have a lemon tree from the supermarket and after six months the lemon has grown and is turning yellow. There are a few more small lemons on the plant so once we pick this one they may start growing. It’s propped on the lip of the pot so it can catch the sun and get warmed by the radiator when it’s on.

The plant had to be potted on because it was root bound and it has grown really well with glossy green leaves. I like the texture of the lemon and leaves in my photo which I took from below to get a better view and catch the blue sky and dream catcher in the background.

Colouring my hair purple

What could you try for the first time?

I was singing with the choir tonight and I noticed a friend had got her hair coloured very subtle purple shades. A bit like this free photo but on much shorter hair.

I have had a box of hair colour in the cupboard for a couple of years, but I keep chickening out on using it. I’m worried I might be allergic to the dye and also I have watched several videos and you can’t just use it like shampoo you have to put it in thin layers to spread it evenly over your hair. I don’t think I can physically do that!

I once asked a hairdresser to do it but she would not use a dye by a different supplier as it was a problem if it went wrong. Shall I just try and shampoo it in or give up and throw it away? I have become very risk averse!

Pain

Pain attacks from different directions

Trundles like an army on alternative fronts

I need to relax

Let my body un-tense

Then the pain flows away

Fear and stress exacerbate

Anxiety cramps me up

But starting to understand

I can calm my impulses

Like a frozen bag of peas

Soothes the army of pain

Descalating aches

Deflating anguish.

Honesty and kindness

What principles define how you live?

Why not live by these principals?

By sticking to them you can try and do good.

Honesty and kindness means not being cruelly honest, to balance the truth and it’s outcomes. Kindness is probably the most important of the two. Honesty can be used to hurt.

So the two can cause moral dilemmas, but perhaps the best use of them is to combine them with the doctors’ oath “first do no harm”, at least that can help point you in the right direction.

I remember also, the two wrongs don’t make a right, even if in mathematics two negatives can make a positive (I think I remember?). Revenge and hate don’t make the world better even if it can make people feel better. It can only worsen the situation. Given that, I’m not talking about appeasement. What I mean is that more truth and reconciliation commissions should be created. It may take many years before they can try and work, but it seems like a better idea than violence and war cascading down the centuries.

But what can I do? Try and keep to my principals, avoid anger if I can.

Many things

What have you been putting off doing? Why?

When you go through bad times anxiety and nerves can hold you back. These emotions can make you hold your tongue, stop you going out, make you forget to write to, or email, or phone people. You put off till tomorrow and forget to do today… Eventually everything piles up and you don’t do anything, or just the bare minimum.

But I’m learning through counselling to do easy tasks first, then as they get easier and less onerous you can move on to medium difficulty tasks, and finally difficult ones. But if you have a set back, don’t give up. Start again with things you can cope with and gradually move on. Self repair, self acceptance. Be kind to yourself.

Last week I found myself laughing, I hope I can start doing more of the things I have been putting off. Hopefully…. Unless I get too stressed.

Eighteen

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Yes, actually 18. I left school and I was in the real world. I had to leave my old life behind. It was a shock. I felt like I was falling off a cliff.

It’s a long time ago, but I remember fighting to get into college. I had to choose between that and staying in the job I had. It was the biggest decision of my life and I’m glad I made it!

When I was older I thought about life and that your feelings and world suddenly changes. You have rights and responsibilities. You still have support but it’s up to you to follow your own path (if you are allowed to). I realise that I am lucky as a woman to have rights a lot of other people in different cultures don’t have, and seeing the way governments can change, or bring in restrictions, I don’t always feel those rights will be maintained.

I was lucky to grow up and become an adult during feminist times. I hope those becoming adult now continue to have those rights.