Tears, in memory of him, digitally manipulated photo using photodirector (not AI). 4.12.23.
Tears
Tag: Tears
Esther Chilton Water prompt…
I just wrote this for Esther’s weekly prompt. This week is Water:
Water today means too much rain. It’s been falling all day. Sometimes it’s a river flowing in the lake district. My hubby tried to tickle trout while we were on holiday one year. He was unsuccessful. Water is lake Windermere, before it got polluted with toxic green algae. Home of Arctic Char fish that got trapped there in the end of the last ice age. Water means the Atlantic and North Sea coasts where we visited on many holidays. I need to visit them again. Water is my tears of regret and happiness over all these memories.
Crying
Crying is cathartic
Tears relieve stress
But do they ever stop?
Many more to come
Will they ever end
When will they be done?
Quiet nights are worst
But even in the day
Tears will still fall
Thinking, all alone
In my little home
Sadness overwhelms.
Looking forward’s hard
Past this veil of tears
Into future years…
Singing Christmas carols
What brings a tear of joy to your eye?
Christmas carols bring tears to my eyes. I can’t explain why. Some affect me more than others. Hark the Herald Angels sing, oh come all ye faithful and oh little town of Bethlehem particularly. Choral music especially when it’s in close harmony is wonderful.
I think its from hearing them in childhood, their sentiment stuck with me. That gentle music touched me. Sung at school and church. The music raises my spirits.
I know that when I hear the Christmas service of nine lessons and carols on the radio I have to stop and listen to the beautiful sweet voices singing wonderfully. I love going Carol singing with friends and that can make me feel teary. I can’t really say any more than that.
Teary eyed
I found this on my phone and once again remembered. Those thoughts came back again, sadness, guilt, loss. To lose a sister, it’s not right. When it’s a twin it might be worse. I don’t know. But as our birthday approaches, will I be OK? I somehow feel this should be both of us. I want to get to my next birthday, but the idea seems wrong. I will keep going but I’m not sure I will be happy on that day. And it’s not just me, it’s the rest of the family. I guess we will wait and see…. Sorry to post this but I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind.
Cry for them
Cry for them
Cry for the mothers
The grand parents
Children and babies
Cry for them
Cry for the men
Bombed and shelled
Shot
Cry for the lost lives
The hope destroyed.
Cry for the humans
And animals
All of them lost.
Sheltered in basements
In cellars and underpasses
Cry for all victims
Across the world.
Ukraine, Syria, Yemen
So many more wars
When do the tears stop?
Draw a shape…
I’m doing a series of drawings over a week based on prompts. The problem is the prompts are included in short videos and for some reason my phone is playing the audio at 3 or 4 times normal speed!
Anyway today’s prompt was to choose one verb from a long list of them. Then draw a pattern over and over again to represent that verb. I chose ‘to support’. With the problem I’ve been having with my drawing hand, I decided to draw hands over and over again. In a ‘supporting’ bridge sort of position. Then I decided it needed a thing to support. I thought of all my friends and how they support me. I decided to add tears, but not to wipe the tears away with a hand, I thought that would be too twee.
Crying
Crying,
In sadness, in anger,
With fear, with hope.
Crying out loud,
Crying with happiness,
Relief.
Crying in dismay.
I cried loudly.
Cry, at the drop of a hat.
Cry-baby
Cry-ogenic
It never gets old
Tears of sadness and happiness.
Greif
I just unlocked some grief, from long ago. It was hidden deep, the reason why I don’t buy many clothes and shoes for myself.
Why I feel guilt, and hurt, sad to be left behindy by my dad.
Father died and we had nothing but his bequest to buy clothes for his funeral. That set up the guilt, Mom needed the money more than us. But she insisted, we had to be smart. Look nice. To choose our own outfits. I think that has always stayed with me. Grief and guilt mixed into a behaviour. Still sad now all these years later.
Mallaband-Brown 