Tag: Stuck

Roadworks

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

It took me half an hour to drive 500 yards and park near my house tonight.

I went out at 6pm and everything was fine. Three hours later I drove down my hill, only to find a toad closed sign about 200 yards from my house. At the bottom of the hill a large truck was parked across the junction preventing any entrance or exit from the street.

So I turned down a rutted unadopted road to get into the next street on along from mine. There was a road closed sign there too. But at least my house was only 50 yards away now.

I decided to ask one of the, workmen, but all he could say was sorry for the inconvenience. I walked a bit further and asked another workman. He, was much more sympathetic. If I went back and got my car he would move one of the cones that were in my way.

I finally managed to drive round, I couldn’t park directly in front of my house, but now I’m only about 10 yards away. If anyone moves I’ll try and shift my car later. The roadworks are going for another two days!

Car issues again!

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I went out in the car tonight and the drivers rear passenger side door won’t open from the outside. I usually put my walking stick and bag on the back seat. I think I might have caught the button that locks all the doors? I don’t know though because the door at the back nearside still opens. Maybe it needs oiling? Or maybe if I leave the window down and try leaning in from the outside I could get it open? I will try and ring a friend for advice.

Stuck

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Came home from choir, went to get a takeaway and my electric window wouldn’t work. So had to open the door to collect the food. Then drove home, but when I tried to open my door it wouldn’t open. I tried hitting it and the lock stuck. By then I was panicking. I started honking the horn and flashing the car lights but no one was around. My phone was on the back seat and I couldn’t reach it. I tried to squeeze my foot up and over the central gear lever and brake, to get into the passenger seat, but couldn’t move my leg so I managed to pull the lever under the seat and tip the seat back to give me more space. I shuffled across hoping I wouldn’t knock the car out of gear or loosen the handbrake. I finally shimmied across. Luckily the passenger door opened. I WAS FREE! I’m shaking and need a decent garage to tow it away to fix it. Meanwhile I daren’t drive it because I don’t know if I’ll get stuck again. 😢

Moving about

Posted on Posted in Cat, Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

What are your biggest challenges?

My biggest challenge seems to be movement inside and outside the house.

Inside I’m unsteady, I use my stick because my feet get muddled sometimes. They twist round each other and trip me up. Going up and down stairs is fun, especially when the cats decide to sleep on the stairs it’s a good job they have white patches so I can see them in the dark.

Outside is a challenge too. Just getting down the steps, hanging on to handrails, then walk a few steps to get to the car. But I get nervous driving, in the past I had hubby with me. Now? I get lifts with people if I can if I’m going any distance. I imagine myself stuck with a flat tyre, or out of petrol, or lost, or too tired to carry on. What happens if the person I’m going to see is out? I think I drove less that 500 miles last year. Memory is of driving all over the country, no longer. My challenge is to get better? I wish.

Backing myself into a corner?

Posted on Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Married

We met in the September

Moved in together in October

16 years later?

We married.

In 9 minutes it will be our anniversary.

My first without him.

We never really celebrated

He wasn’t into birthdays

Or Anniversaries

A quiet meal

A glass of wine or beer

We were going to be together forever.

The shock when he went

Backed me into a corner.

Nowhere to go

Nothing to do

Surrounded by stuff

That holds me in

Trapped in a corner of sadness

Missing him

And tomorrow? In 5 minutes?

24 hours lost in greif

Scrolling

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Why.

Today has been a “nothing” day. I had a letter that upset me this morning and I tried to contact some support but there was no reply. I wrote a long winded email and sent it although I doubt it will help.

All day my ears have been whistling and whooshing. I think my ears are slightly blocked although I have slight tinnitus sometimes. That’s made me feel under the weather.

It was a mainly gray day. I didn’t want to go out so I basically spent a lot of time scrolling through my phone. It’s not good. I was also watching TV out the corner of my eye, the epitome of multi tasking. Now I’m not sure what to do. I don’t have a plan. I’m very stuck, procrastinating. Help!

Trapped in a top!

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I’ve worn this top for years, in fact I was a lot larger when I first got it. But I like it and it’s served me well. But I’ve noticed lately that because of a frozen shoulder and golfers elbow in the same arm I was struggling to bend my arm enough to take off my top.

Tonight was worse. I tried and tried but it wouldn’t budge from my arm. My elbow would not bend and I felt like I was strangling myself. It called for drastic action. Luckily I have a strong pair of scissors. So starting at the wrist I cut up the sleeve. Gradually releasing the pressure. It was particularly difficult as I reached the neck. I was trying not to cut myself! Eventually I was free, but my old cotton top is now in the bin!

Stuck

Posted on Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Not My house.

Six months after he died and I’m still stuck. It’s hard to move things, clear them away. I feel like I’m walking through treacle. I’ve got too much stuff, mine and his. I’m still holding tight to things.

Can I donate to charity? Or sell things? Or bin things? But I’m still attached. I can’t do anything but look at things, I rarely move any of it. My mind is fused into a lump of static thoughts, unable to move on.

Maybe I’m overdramaticising the situation? I don’t know, but I think it might take years to get sorted out. I’ve done a lot of the legal stuff and paperwork, but forty years of belongings, especially when you have been with someone for so long, are hard to organise.