Friday the thirteenth

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Out of luck today, the result of our general election didn’t go the way I wanted. I usually stay up all night to watch the results, but as soon as I heard what the exit pole said I decided to give it a miss. No last night I went to bed about 1am, which is actually early for me. I would  have gone earlier, but I was watching a couple of documentaries about Maori art and they were far more enjoyable than election results. I think I knew it was going to be bad when I saw the results would be on Friday the Thirteenth.

I look forward to more austerity and homelessness, worse health care, the sale of the NHS, more crime. But I’m not bitter, just sad.

Curled up cat

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He’s curled up,

Happy, warm, snug.

The stray cat outside has a box

Sleeps in the shed.

My cat sleeps where he likes.

So sad.

The stray needs a home,

A place to be warm.

My cat won’t accept him.

Looked for its owner..

Gone away.

Now it needs shelter,

While my cat is happy.

It’s time for the stray,

To get a warm bed…..

My dilemma is how to do it?

Greif

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I just unlocked some grief, from long ago. It was hidden deep, the reason why I don’t buy many clothes and shoes for myself. 

Why I feel guilt, and hurt, sad to be left behindy by my dad. 

Father died and we had nothing but his bequest to buy clothes for his funeral. That set up the guilt, Mom needed the money more than us. But she insisted, we had to be smart. Look nice. To choose our own outfits. I think that has always stayed with me. Grief and guilt mixed into a behaviour. Still sad now all these years later. 

Helium balloon…

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What to do?

If we let you free..

You will drift up..

And up….

Taking your helium high!

High pitched gas.

Into the sky….

Your plastic body

Metallic coloured bag

of odourless atoms..

A death trap for fish

Or other animals

If we release you.

So thanks friend,

We will wait

For your gift to deflate.

Hisssssss….

Then dispose of it.

Responsibly…

Sad

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There are so many sad things in the world today and sometimes they are overwhelming. We were singing quite a sad song at the music workshop today and one person could not join in. I think they were recently bereaved. Perhaps the song had special significance. I don’t know, but it made me think about love and loss, about how you can’t always know what’s going to happen next. It also made me feel sad about a relative whose situation has become difficult because they are spending a lot of time caring for someone else but are then neglecting themselves. Sometimes the burden that we put on ourselves can be debilitating.

Finally there are destitute people just in our neighbourhood, with no means of looking after themselves. The idea of austerity is wrong, no one should be put in a situation where they are homeless and hungry. This country has to ask itself why? Why don’t we care enough to turn things round? It’s easier to go out and buy things than give to charity, or pay a decent amount of tax to support those in need.

I’m not preaching, just thinking.

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Panorama

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This is my friends studio at Spode. She is moving away in the near future which is why I took the photo as a memory. I will miss her. I haven’t known her for long but she is a lovely person. Very thoughtful and creative. I hate it when good people move away. It’s happened a few times, and although you say you will keep in touch it’s hard sometimes to do that. Lives seperate, thoughts split, ideas are forgotten. I wish things didn’t change, but they do.

Hungry

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I’m hungry, only had breakfast today, my hubby isn’t interested. He had a big meal and doesn’t want anything, but I’m hungry. Went to the fridge, he’s already eaten something I had bought for both of us. He’s eaten both portions. I told him he’s a black hole, engulfing everything edible in sight.

I have some fresh beetroot and I’m thinking of making hummus with it, with some brown bread. But I have to cook it. He doesn’t really cook, he can do boiled egg on toast. The trouble is I have been so disappointed by his cooking that I take over. Its worrying because if anything happens to me will he cope? So anyway, I’m fed up (not fed). I feel like going on strike!

 

THUD

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Oh dear, a pigeon just flew into the bedroom window. I heard the thud and saw a feather flutter past the window. Richard went out and found it upside down on the ground. Sadly it must have broken its neck when it hit. It’s always sad to find something like this. It must have thought it could fly through as there is another window on the side of the house.