Past book?

Posted on November 22, 2024 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged Adverts, bad memory, hoard, Life, Loss, Mourning, past books, photo album, Sadness, TimeLeave a comment

I keep getting ads in my time line to order my 2024 past book now.

Anyone who follows me will know I don’t need reminding. I have had the worst 12 to 24 months in my life that I never want to live over again. I hope to get through December and have a better start to 2025, although I worry about geopolitics. I don’t want one! I don’t want reminding, please don’t make me!

OK that’s enough..

There were good times too, I have some good photos, but I’m not in the mood to share. I’ll hoard those to myself, keep them safe.

I wish I could talk to her

Posted on July 22, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Advice, Life, Loss, Memory, Mother, Mourning, Pain, regret, Sadness, Sister, Thinking2 Comments

I wish I could speak to my mother, my sister, but they are gone. If there was a phone line, a way to communicate. Just to say hello. To get some comfort. To just say a few words and get some response. It’s hard to lose people, it leaves such an empty space. Even when I’m busy I think of them. I thought I would learn to cope, and I have to some extent, but the older you get it seems the more the regret grows (at least for me). Sadness, regret, pain, loss, mourning, they all crowd in on me sometimes.

Toast at 4am

Posted on November 3, 2022 Posted in Cat, UncategorizedTagged Awake, Cat, decaffeinated, Grief, Insomnia, Loss, Mourning, Sad, Sleepless, TiredLeave a comment

It’s another one of those nights. I lie down to sleep but my thoughts churn. I’m too hot, then too cold. I tried reading but hubby wants the light out, then he starts to snore. I came downstairs to get a drink, decaffeinated coffee, what a thrill?! I decided to treat myself to a slice of toast with hummus. Not very exciting. I know that at this rate it will be afternoon before I get up. One of the cats is on the armchair next to me, paw over his nose, keeping the light from the standard lamp out of his eyes. Oh to be a cat, curling up wherever you can. Warmed in a fur coat that is totally ethical. The house creaks at night, it’s old and not very well made. I think of my sister late at night. My chest does ache, but it might just be the cold I’ve had for the last few days. I guess I’ve got to learn to live with the loss. I’m still mourning her. Maybe tomorrow night I’ll get a better night’s sleep.

Colours

Posted on February 11, 2021 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Black, Blood, Blue, Colours, Danger, fashion, Fruit, Green, History, Indoor plants, Mourning, Nature, Red, White1 Comment

So colours represent specific emotions? Maybe? But who sets them. Is it a historical thing? Some countries have black as their colour of mourning. But others use white, and who knows what else might be favoured elsewhere. Red is hot, fast, speed, fast cars are often red. But what about red for danger. Traffic lights, live wires and of course blood? But red can be sweet like fruit too.

Green has been found to be calming, and maybe blue too. Linked with the colours of growing plants. Green indoor plants can calm workers. Now green walls of plants are fashionable.

Pink for girls, blue for boys. But a couple of hundred years ago it was the other way round. Perhaps our use of colours to represent emotions is just fashion and fad!

Sitting in the dark.

Posted on January 11, 2020January 11, 2020 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Farewell, Friend, Heartbreak, Missed, Mourning, Poem, Poetry, SadLeave a comment

Sitting in the dark,

knocked for six,

Feeling so sad,

so sad, so sad.

Never really met,

But deep inside I knew,

we would always be friends,

buddies, chums.

Artist, faithful, thoughtful,

always so kind.

Mother, aunt and wife,

carer for her family,

Matriarch and home maker,

gentle and kind.

Shocked by the news,

came out of the blue,

crying so much,

So sad, so bad.

So sad.

Farewell friend.

Farewell old friend.

Posted on January 11, 2020 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Art, Friendship, Gone, Loss, MourningLeave a comment

Screenshot_20200111-070638

I found this posted onto a friends story on Facebook this morning.

I knew she had been ill and had come home from hospital, but because my friend lived in America it was not as easy to keep in touch.

We had spoken over the Internet early last year. I probably should have called he more often. But life gets in the way. I admired her art. I first met her on the Internet at a website called Sketchfu. The site is long gone, but we discussed art and drew pictures and enjoyed our artistic friendship. We both then joined a site called Muzy, which also closed. But a friendship had been made and stuck.

In later years she posted her art to Instagram. Her work was full of beautiful drawings of women and lovely landscapes. All drawn with soft and thin layers of bright colours.

Now she is gone. I won’t see her art anymore. At least a message was posted telling us she has gone. A friend lost. I mourn her passing.

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Mourning