Not everyone can answer this.

What were your parents doing at your age?

Having a parent die early is awful, but a lot of people have this experience with either one or both of their parents.

In my case it was one, and the other was still working to support themselves at my age now. Income can drop drastically when you lose someone. My siblings and I did part time jobs to help support the family. My parent worked in two jobs to care for us. We mostly managed, and had to learn to be strong in the face of adversity. Sometimes we got help, but mostly we coped. Using a coat as an extra bedspread was a normal experience, and cold food more often than not saved money.

No one wants to lose a parent, or parents, and I’d give anything to speak to both of them now as the remaining parent passed away at a relatively young age too. It worries me because I don’t think we are a long lived family, but I want to be around for a good few years more.

Digital rose drawing

I used to draw at a website called Sketchfu before it closed. It had simple tools to draw with, no complicated applets, and consequently it was open to a large number of people.

Eventually it became a massive site and the owners lost interest in it. I was a moderator and had to deal with a lot of problems over the years I was there. I won’t go into details but it included bullying and inappropriate language and messages. There were a few of us that were allowed to remove inappropriate content but it was hard work. (I also moderated another site but did not disclose my role). When someone draws the same rude or racist image over, and over again for hours, but you are there deleting them as they appear, they eventually get fed up and stop. But if you admit you are a moderator you get a lot of stick, so I kept quiet. At one stage I was working in a full time job and coming home and doing four or five hours moderating!

Anyway I loved creating digital drawings, including portraits. I loved doing challenges. Someone would post a photo and we had to try and copy it. I’ve just found some of my old pieces so I might post a few of them over the next few days.

Everything!

Do you need a break? From what?

For those that follow my blog you will know I’ve been going through a couple of bad years. I really want things to stop going wrong. I feel like the universe is jumping up and down on my head. I’d like a break. That’s just a few days where I can relax and recover.

Holidays, that’s a word I don’t think I will hear in the future. I have ‘leisure time’ but that’s just sitting being bored because I don’t have anything I can do or want to do. I’ve spent years looking after someone and I’d love to have that responsibility back. The silence is deep sometimes. Thinking is not a ‘break’. We would talk and chat, breaking that silence with serious thoughts or silly humour. I could always make him laugh.. There is no laughter now.

Memory and singing

Five or six years ago our choir learnt ” I walk to Jo-berg” to sing at a choir festival. It’s a good song, full of different sounds, English and Afrikaans words. Someone in the choir requested that we learn it again.

Not all the old choir members are still with us, but within minutes we knew what bits to sing. WE WERE SINGING JAZZ TUNES we hadn’t sung in years. It was fascinating how we could recollect it. You scratch your head and think I’ll never remember that, and then it’s coming out of your mouth without you having to struggle! We were singing in four part harmony and building up sections. We had a great time and we really enjoyed it.

Recent studies have shown that learning a new musical instrument or learning to sing can improve mental acuity and memory. And it’s fun!

Himself

It was summer in 1981, I was on holiday from college. I wanted to paint my then boyfriend, later husband. I had oil paints but no canvas, so I got an old wooden door. I carved and sanded it a bit to make it more interesting. We were living in a shared house and the curtains were in our living room. I remember they were bright yellow. I love this painting, it brings back great memories.

Train time

Watercolour painting of the top half of Cheddleton Station near Leek in Staffordshire. I have travelled on the steam train from there several times with my hubby. Something I will really miss. He was a bit of a steam train fanatic and always had masses of information in his mind. He recognised the make and types of trains (and tractors and cars) he could tell the make of tractors by the colours they were painted. Old Fergus on tractors were grey ‘old grey Fergie’ he would say.

Here’s a link to their website:

https://www.churnetvalleyrailway.co.uk/

Books

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

I once counted our books. When I got to 1000 I gave up. Some are precious and I devour them regularly. Others I dust off occasionally, but a few I have never read. Mainly because they were my hubbys and generally are about wars, trains or tractors. I like some of them, but they are generally big and heavy, full of pictures and technical details. I think some of them will go to a charity shop.

I guess they could act as insulation! Some of them are high up on tall shelves. I would have to climb up ladders to get up to them. I’m not sure if anyone will ever read them!

Alone

Each morning I look for you

Remember cycling behind you

Along roads we knew

I listen for your key in the door

Your footstep on the stair

The sound of your voice

“come to bed – it’s late!”

The times I didn’t hear you

Switched off and ignored you.

I feel guilty for losing you

Not taking care of you….

A phone call to say you’re Ok

I’ll see you today?

Coming back,

Not gone forever

The mirror is broken

Lost forever

And I’m alone.

Mossy roof

View over rickety old workshops in Etruria last week. The roof is heavily covered in moss. It’s also covered in leaf litter from silver birch trees growing on the Etruria Flint mill land. It must have blown across in the heavy winds we had over the last couple of months. Today I’m having a rest after loudly wassailing last night.