Tall friends

We just held, a celebration of my hubbys life. He was always interested in acting and theatrical performances so when my friends offered to greet guests at the start of the celebrations on stilts and in circus costumes I had to say yes. They stood outside and looked funny and magnificent. They stayed and enjoyed the rest of the evening. A group of us sang ‘always look on the bright side of life’. A good friend read a eulogy and showed slides and video of my husband. We had almost 200 photos of him on the hall walls. People read poems for him including one specially written and ‘do not go gentle into that dark night’ we had a harmonica playing and a friend singing and playing the banjo. There was a lovely buffet laid on by the hall.

People also wrote memories of him on cards so I could take them away. The plan is to create a memory book of the celebration. I took some of my portraits of him up to the hall.

All in all it was a fantastic evening and I was very pleased with how it went. I think my hubby would have appreciated the occasion. X

I don’t have one

Do you enjoy your job?

I gave up work to look after my hubby and try and set up as an artist. Sadly circumstances mean that he is no longer here and I don’t have the possibility of keeping my artists studio.

I won’t stop painting though, creativity is my reason for living. Despite health issues I cannot give it up. So I suppose really I do have a job, but it’s very much part time. I will still accept commissions and do my best to produce quality art work. I hope I continue long into the future, drawing on these recent events to produce new art.

Young at heart

Hubby on a swing we found, at the edge of a field a couple of years ago on a country walk. Soon he was flying up to the sky! Luckily the rope didn’t give way.

When covid was going on we actually went walking more, getting away from the city and people, then when lock down ended we continued but with more friends. This was one of those occasions.

Later I stopped walking as much after badly pulling a muscle, but we were trying to get back into walking when I trapped my leg in the car door and that resulted in a wound that took months to heal. We were just getting back into walking when my hubbys health deteriorated and he passed away. The universe seems against me!

I think I need company to get back out again. I don’t like walking on my own, easier to hide.

He knew his tractors

If he saw this tractor he would have known exactly who the maker was. A Fordson , John Deere, Zeta, New Holland, Massey Ferguson?

He knew by their colours /livery., by their shape, by the setup of the wheels. Whether they were row-crop tractors, diesel, paraffin.   So much knowledge.

I used to guess what sort they were and he would congratulate me or correct me. Now has gone, I can’t remember.

We would sometimes go to agricultural shows. Hubby would have a pint in the beer tent, avoiding wasps, have a bite to eat, and then watch the tractor or steam traction engine parades in the main show ring. Then a ride on the steam gallopers, or  trying to win a teddy bear on the air gun shooting range.

Memories are what I have….

He used to climb

When he was young he used to climb

But I had no head for heights

He’d climb down cliffs

Or up tall pikes

While I stood by in fear

He’d disappear below my view

And I would cower in dread

Till he came back from his perch

On steps above the sea.

He never slipped, or dropped or fell

I was so proud of him

While I crawled on hands and knees

A victim of vertigo,

Atop the smallest hill!

Now he had fallen out of sight

Never to reappear

But I will wait and hope one day

I’ll join him safely, my fate?

Himself

It was summer in 1981, I was on holiday from college. I wanted to paint my then boyfriend, later husband. I had oil paints but no canvas, so I got an old wooden door. I carved and sanded it a bit to make it more interesting. We were living in a shared house and the curtains were in our living room. I remember they were bright yellow. I love this painting, it brings back great memories.

Blurry Summer Dream

My hubby in about 1982/83, sorry the photos blurry the cat is the same one as in the other painting. It’s propped against the wall and the computer is in the way. The title is Summer Dream. It’s oil on canvas. There are standing stones at the top and a female figure with long hair blowing in the wind, (meant to be me). It’s supposed to be set in the west country.

Another narrative painting.

Train time

Watercolour painting of the top half of Cheddleton Station near Leek in Staffordshire. I have travelled on the steam train from there several times with my hubby. Something I will really miss. He was a bit of a steam train fanatic and always had masses of information in his mind. He recognised the make and types of trains (and tractors and cars) he could tell the make of tractors by the colours they were painted. Old Fergus on tractors were grey ‘old grey Fergie’ he would say.

Here’s a link to their website:

https://www.churnetvalleyrailway.co.uk/

Alone

Each morning I look for you

Remember cycling behind you

Along roads we knew

I listen for your key in the door

Your footstep on the stair

The sound of your voice

“come to bed – it’s late!”

The times I didn’t hear you

Switched off and ignored you.

I feel guilty for losing you

Not taking care of you….

A phone call to say you’re Ok

I’ll see you today?

Coming back,

Not gone forever

The mirror is broken

Lost forever

And I’m alone.