By my side
Part of me
Has ripped away
Torn my heart
In half
Lub dub, Lub dub
It’s still pumping
Just.
You should be here
Tag: Gone
No presents
No presents hanging in stockings
No orange in the toe of the sock
There’s no chocolate or dolls
No perfume, or jigsaw puzzle
Sympathy cards replace Christmas ones.
The poinsettia is still in the shop
Your present has gone to a friend
We won’t open one each before breakfast
Old traditions wrung out
New ones yet to start.
Meanwhile I wait for snow or reindeer
Or Christian meditation and carols.
Who knows what happens next.
Shrodingers Cat has more idea
Of the future than I do.
He came to me
I just woke up from a dream. I was in the street and I heard footsteps clattering up behind me. I turned and it was my hubby. Hair blowing behind him, his jacket flapping. He said a couple of words, something like ‘I’m here’? But then I woke up.
It’s not much of a story, but it was comforting. The thought that he is around somewhere, even if its just in my imagination made me feel better.
Farewell
Somewhere between here and there.
You’ve gone.
Lost in the space between dreams.
Departed, like the ghost of Christmas present.
Full of fun and grumpy too.
Never a dull moment with you.
Life will be so lonely.
Do you know how many hearts you have touched?
If I could hold your hand one more time.
Kiss your lips, say goodbye.
My one and only man.
My green man…..
Bike – gone
Green Claude has gone
A Butler of a bike
Shiny chrome
Clip your foot
On its pedals
And fly…
Classic tourer,
Memories of Devon
Yorkshire, Lancashire
Cumbria and environs.
When you stole his bike,
You stole his heart
(for my hubby)
19.10.23
Almost a year
Almost a year
Time has moved on
From when I heard
That you were gone
The Earth around the Sun
That shone
Has turned full circle
And flown on
Around the galaxy
So that now
We cannot ever
Return anon.
Still raw my thoughts
Reach back in time.
I miss you so
Hence this Bad rhyme
I hope that if you were to glance
At this mad poem
You’d laugh and prance
And tell me ‘chill!’
Take no heed
We must survive
Old life’s sad dance!
Almost Friday
Time floats round
One minute it’s March
Then it’s Friday….
I mean it all merges
When you’re not having fun.
Day starts
Day ends
Night starts
Dawn arrives
My brain does not compute
Time is running,
But is it running out?
How rude
Just go back
Further and further
To when days meant something?
Please.
Twinned
Sleep, memory, chases my mind.
I remember we were twins
When you were still here
Now your shape is gone
A space left in my landscape
So before I weep again
Bring me more dreams of you
Here beside me
Her next to me
Sister, twin.
Missing painting
When we went up to my sisters house last week I looked for the painting I had done her for her birthday. She passed away a few weeks ago and I would like to retrieve this and a painting of a lobster I also did for her. Unfortunately the house is full of things, she was like me, a collector of all sorts of things, and I have no idea where she has put them. I feel like I should ask her family for them back unless they want them themselves. So much to sort out. So sad to not have her in my life anymore.
Tired
A long day, a funeral, a wake. Gentle celebration of a lost life. No awful grief, just a summing up of someone that touched many hearts. I am proud of her. I was moved and surprised by her life.
Seeing myself on the photos in tribute to her was a shock, I hadn’t been told they would be there. That touched me deeply. To know that half of me has now been seperated. I touched the coffin and said goodbye. A long day, a painful day, but a joyful day.
Leaves fall from the trees, they gradually break down and disintegrate, but their molecules are still there, they add to more life and energy, they are still part of the universe. They exist, existed, they have not exited this realm. A lot to think about. My gratitude continues as I remember sharing my life with her, my sister, my twin.
Mallaband-Brown 