Backing myself into a corner?

Married

We met in the September

Moved in together in October

16 years later?

We married.

In 9 minutes it will be our anniversary.

My first without him.

We never really celebrated

He wasn’t into birthdays

Or Anniversaries

A quiet meal

A glass of wine or beer

We were going to be together forever.

The shock when he went

Backed me into a corner.

Nowhere to go

Nothing to do

Surrounded by stuff

That holds me in

Trapped in a corner of sadness

Missing him

And tomorrow? In 5 minutes?

24 hours lost in greif

Seahorse

For years I drew seahorses on the sand

A holiday tradition.

He would watch while I drew

Happy in admiration

Sunny, bright days,

Soft sand

Holding hands.

I started doing this

30 years ago

Seahorses gallop into the waves

Dragging my memories

In the undertow

Last week I walked towards a beach

Did not step onto it

Did not pick up a stick and draw

Did not depict this watery creature

I don’t know if I ever will

Again….

Sand particles washed and blown

Away…

Has my tide turned?

I don’t know…

Cut

My yard, flowers

Apple tree grows,

Next door? Hedge gone

Cut, hacked, defiled.

The view now, roofs

The birds homes shattered.

Where will the roost tonight,

Open up? Let in the light?

But shade gone, it will be blasted by heat.

The sun not shielded.

A sun trap,

No words can tell my despair?

They left a mess and an old fridge!

Well that’s nice to look at

Not!

Back again!

After 17 hours sleep yesterday my cat asked to be let out. He won’t use a litter tray so I had no choice. That was late last night. By lunchtime today he hadn’t come back so I went looking for him again. I called in the local vets and rang two more practices up. No sign.

Tonight as the sun started to set he sauntered in. He’s currently asleep in my armchair and I’m relegated to the one next to him. But I don’t care! He’s back again and I don’t have to post him missing again! The relief is so great. He’s like a lost lamb returned. I can’t tell you how much better I feel. And his abscess is looking a lot better too!

Missing cat

My cat has gone missing. He’s a large cat with a distinctive smudge on his nose. He might have got shut in somewhere if he’s found a place to sleep in the shade. I’ve looked round the garden, round the back of the house. I’ve knocked on neighbours doors. I’ve been down to the pdsa but they haven’t had him handed in. I rang the local vets, but they are closed till Monday so I rang their emergency vets but they are in Nantwich. He was abandoned by his previous owners who would not speak to the cats protection league so I was never able to get his microchip changed over. He’s a very loving cat, very big, he might have gone up to someone. All I can hope is he might be asleep somewhere because of the heat. But then he comes in for a drink and food? I don’t know what to do. Posted to Facebook.

Chairs gone!

An empty space…. Twenty-five years had a detrimental effect on our armchairs. The springs were gone and I’d added pillows and cushions to try and build them up. At one stage we thought of reupholstering them, they had been very comfortable. But no, when you have to put books in the base of them to hold them up, and the springs dig into the carpet you know it’s too late! I rescued the seat pads and used them to boost the cushions on the settee which is really only used for guests to sleep on. Waiting for two ‘new’ (secondhand) chairs to be delivered tomorrow.